'From the moment I saw Naruto's Transformation Jutsu, I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to do. I, Sabuko, Have a Dream! And that dream requires learning Shadow Clone, and Transformation. I've got a plan to learn even a forbidden technique like the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu—with zero risk. But first, I need to get a few things down. How to use chakra being the most basic one.'
"Dude… You're not joking right now, right?" the kid asked Sabuko as they both left the Ninja Academy.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm dead serious… I don't even remember if I passed the Transformation Jutsu exam. Or where I live. Nothing." Sabuko replied.
"N… Not even me?!"
"…I just told you I don't even remember my parents, man. What, we lovers or something?"
"N-no EW! Who'd even! But c'mon! There was a special bond between us! I was the one who saved you!"
"Saved me…?"
'...Well, fuck. I know that line. That's the line of a make-believe friend. The friend who's only there because it's convenient.'
'...Hm. He also looks like he wants to take advantage of me. He believes me, but he's wicked. I can tell.'
'Tsk. Who can I turn to that won't shut the door in my face but also won't try to use me?' Sabuko thought.
"Dude, you listening?"
'Shikamaru? Nah. He'll call it a chore and won't bother.'
'Sasuke? Hmm... maybe. But he'd probably just shoo me away and wonder why I'm approaching him in the first place... I COULD just tell him how lonely I am to play on his heartstrings. That's how he became more lenient with Naruto, after all... But he might be suspicious, yep.'
'Sakura… Oh, that's a good one. She always wants to feel useful. Her reward is being your superior without asking for anything. Buuuuuuuuuut right now, she's still a spoiled brat who only ever looks at Sasuke. She'd likely call me trash and toss me aside. That character development of hers where she looks to see other people's pain doesn't come till later…'
'I could ask someone neutral, like Ino or Choji… but that's a risk. They don't strike me as the type to help someone they don't already know... I COULD get Choji some snacks, but I bet he'd just half-ass it. Besides, I need money for that. And LOTS.'
"Duuuude…?"
Sabuko ignored him. Kept thinking.
'ACTUALLY! Rock Lee! He's perfect. He'd train me to death with a smile and that's what I currently need if I want to make my dream a reality...—if he only knew Ninjutsu. Right. He could teach me chakra basics, but I need someone who actually uses ninjutsu.'
'Neji just... wouldn't bother. Probably too prideful.'
'There's also… hmm, OH! I know someone who'd be agreeable! Hinata. She's timid and would probably say yes. She's hardworking, gifted, and honestly—even as a neutral mob character like me—going to her is the logical choice as she's strong even for her age, and easily coerced if pressured enough—'
"DAGA KOTOWARU!" Sabuko suddenly shouted aloud.
"WHAT??!" his 'friend' yelped, startled.
'If there's one thing I, Sabuko Kanto, love more than anything, it's saying "NO" to taking advantage of a main heroine. Especially one that's destined for someone else. My Reddit mods taught me: don't do to others what was done to you. Granted, it's never been done to me—I'd need a girlfriend first—but more than anything…'
'I FUCKING HATE NTR! WITH A MOTHAFUCKIN' PASSIONE!! NETORI, Where YOU ARE THE ONE DOING THE TAKING IS NO DIFFERENT FROM THE VILE NETORARE! YOU'RE SCUM IN BOTH CASES!'
'Then who's left?! I could ask a teacher... But they're likely to tell my parents. FUCK! Who else? I need to learn all this before the exam tomorrow… Naruto won't help—he spends today ruining everything and moping because the village hates him…'
'Tsk. Whatever.'
He turned to his friend.
"Tell you what. You teach me what I need before tomorrow, and I'll give you… erh…"
'What's a useful in-verse gift I can get later?'
"Oh, what? You think I saved your life that time all those years ago just to get something out of it?" the kid said, chuckling as he tapped Sabuko's shoulder. "Man, I didn't help you because I wanted anything. But, you know…"
He leaned in and whispered into Sabuko's ear.
"We're gonna be on a team with Yuhi-chan, right? I've had a crush on her forever. So I'd really appreciate it if you'd be my wingman—"
"Oh, deal. One hundred percent. I'm not into matchmaking (especially with kids), but if you want me to back off? Sure. She's all yours. I'll play the loner."
Sabuko didn't even blink.
"W-What, really?!" the kid said, voice rising with excitement.
"Yeah. One hundred percent. I couldn't care less. As long as you fully commit to teaching me and making sure I learn, at the very least, Clone Jutsu and Transformation Jutsu before the exam."
"Sure! Sure! H-Holy crap, you really did lose your memories, huh?!"
'Judging by how excited he is, I'm guessing this Yuhi girl was probably crushing on me, and that I, in some way, treated him like trash. Maybe even something was going on between me and her. And now this guy's practically cheering over the fact I forgot. Man… you're the wickedest little son of a bitch I've ever seen.' Sabuko raised his eyebrow, unable to contain a smirk as he looked at him.
'Well, honestly, I don't care. About any girl. Especially not at this age. Also, no girl in this world has a cock, nor is willing to join a big gangbang to ruin me while I turn into a petite girl. So, you know… no loss. My plans don't involve her in the slightest.'
"Wait, Transformation Jutsu too?" the kid asked. "But… we already passed that. Both of us did, if you're wondering."
'Yeah, I know. Only Naruto sat on that swing in the first episode, after all. Everyone else passed.'
"Yep. With an emphasis on that," Sabuko replied. "I want you to teach me the Transformation Jutsu and Clone Jutsu for tomorrow. Also, tell me everything I need to know about my life. Do that. Commit to it. And this Yuhi girl's all yours."
"Ho… holy… Your whole attitude's different now. You really did lose it, huh? Fine, fine. But remember! You promised! I'm gonna bust my ass all night for you—you better hold up your end of the deal!"
"I will. No doubt."
"Also, my name's Takos Bruger. From the Bruger Clan," the kid said.
Sabuko blinked.
"…Pfft."
A short chuckle escaped him.
"What?" Takos frowned.
"Nothing."
Sabuko returned to a deadpan stare, the life already drained from his face.
'I'm one step closer now. One step closer to the plan I hatched the moment I saw Naruto's Sexy Jutsu.'
'…No. It's not fucking Naruto. I'm not that sick in the head.'