Chapter 76: CARAVAN GO GO
FANG YUAN'S SIGMA GRINDSET (IT'S GIVING DEMONIC RIZZ)
WHOOSH…
Mountain winds blew through the camp, making the silence even MORE SUS.
A hundred NPCs formed a circle, staring at two dead bodies (OU FEI & OU YANG GONG, FOLDED LIKE LAWN CHAIRS) and two standing DEMONIC SIGMAS—Fang Yuan and Bai Ning Bing.
Their GLOWING EYES swept the crowd like a SKILL ISSUE DETECTOR. Most NPCs COULDN'T EVEN MATCH THEIR GAZE (too much RIZZLESS ENERGY).
Finally, their eyes landed on JIA LONG and the other caravan leaders.
These dudes had CHARGED IN LIKE OHIO KARENS, but the moment Fang and Bai flexed their RANK 3 PEAK STAGE AURA, they FROZE LIKE NPCs IN A CUTSCENE.
Now? STUCK IN THE MOST AWKWARD STANDOFF EVER.
The caravan still had:
11 Rank 3s
27 Rank 2s
38 Rank 1s
THEY COULD SWARM FANG & BAI… BUT NPCs DON'T WORK TOGETHER.
Each clan was SCHEMING, MALDING, AND WORRIED ABOUT THEIR OWN LOOT. No one wanted to be the FIRST TO DIE for "justice."
FANG YUAN'S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: "LOL. Just as planned. Now… where's that SIMPGIRL Shang Xin Ci?"
ENTER SHANG XIN CI (IT'S GIVING MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY)
Shang Xin Ci and Xiao Die GLIDED OUT OF THE TENT like they were in a K-DRAMA.
Shang Xin Ci, CASUALLY DROPPING LORE: "These two are my Zhang Clan's HIDDEN ELDERS—Lord Hei Tu and Lord Bai Yun."
Xiao Die, WHISPER-SCREAMING: "MISSY WHAT ARE YOU DOING—"
Shang Xin Ci, IGNORING HER: "They were on a SECRET MISSION and just happened to join this caravan~"
CARAVAN LEADERS: "…Sure. Totally believable." (Internally: "GYATT DAMN, SHE'S COVERING FOR DEMONIC GU MASTERS?!")
But no one DARED to call her out. Why?
BECAUSE FANG YUAN AND BAI NING BING WERE BUILT DIFFERENT.
JIA LONG (SUDDENLY A COMEDIAN): "HAHAHA! Misunderstanding! Ou Clan father-son duo had MAJOR SKILL ISSUE. Good riddance!"
Other leaders IMMEDIATELY SWITCH SIDES:
"Zhang Clan stays winning!"
"Ou Yang Gong was RIZZLESS anyway!"
"We stan demonic kings now??"
FANG YUAN (DEADPAN): "Cool. Anyway, we're not helping with your NPC DRAMA. Xin Ci, let's dip."
Shang Xin Ci, BLINKING INNOCENTLY: "I'm tired. Bye~"
CARAVAN LEADERS (COLLECTIVE MALDING): "WAIT—"
But Fang Yuan and Bai Ning Bing ALREADY LEFT.
CARAVAN LEADER MEETING (IT'S GIVING TWITCH MOD CHAT)
Jia Long, SLUMPING IN HIS CHAIR: "So… two DEMONIC RANK 3s just joined us. Thoughts?"
CLAN LEADERS:
"They're UNHINGED."
"Ou Yang Gong got NO-DIFFED."
"That Zhang Clan girl is GASLIT."
Jia Long, SMIRKING: *"Solution? Give them OU CLAN'S LOOT. They'll protect it like *DRAGONS HOARDING GOLD."
EVERYONE: "…BRILLIANT."
CHEN XIN'S EXISTENTIAL CRISIS (PART 1)
Chen Xin, SHAKING HIS UNCLE: "UNCLE! THEY KILLED ZHANG ZHU! I SAW IT!"
Chen Shuang Jin, SIPPING TEA: "And? You want us to FIGHT TWO RANK 3 PEAKS? My guy, in this world… ONLY STRENGTH MATTERS."
Chen Xin, CRUMBLING: "…I need a LOW TAPER FADE and therapy."
BATTLEFIELD STATUS
The caravan moved through the DRIZZLE OF DOOM, vibes DEPRESSED AS HELL after getting CLAPPED by:
Big Thicc Beetles → FOLDED
Winged Snek Gang → CRIPPLED (L + ratio)
Smol Toad Homies → ALIVE (short king W)
Ostrich MFs → EXTINCT (buried heads like 💀)
Shang Xin Ci SIDE-EYED the toads hauling ZHANG CLAN'S STOLEN LOOT, realizing:
"Damn... strength really is the only rizz that matters."
FLASHBACK TO OU YANG GONG'S FUNERAL (SPONSORED BY FANG YUAN):
NPC Leaders: "Ew, orphan girl? Cringe."
NOW: "PLZ ACCEPT OUR TRIBUTE, MY QUEEN 👑"
Her gaze drifted to FANG YUAN ahead, his DEMONIC SIGMA AURA hitting different:
✅ Protecc (when convenient)
✅ Attacc (always)
❌ Snacc (on morals)
Bai Ning Bing SNICKERED: "We broke her brain."
Fang Yuan SHRUGGED: "She'll mald, then cope."
FANG YUAN'S WITNESS ELIMINATION PROTOCOL (ACTIVATED)
His DEMONIC SIDE-EYE locked onto CHEN XIN—the ONE NPC who saw him CLAP Zhang Zhu.
INTERNAL MONOLOGUE:
"Bruh survived a FLYING ELEPHANT YEET? Must've had that PLOT ARMOR GU smh."
CONTINGENCY PLANS:
🔪 Plan A: Flex so hard witnesses SELF-DELETE from fear
💀 Plan B: Shang Xin Ci finds out? ALT+F4 HER LIFE (mortal HP pool=LOL)
🎟️ Plan C: JIA LONG SIMP TOKEN (free NPC loyalty, no refunds)
TWITCH CHAT REACTS:
💀 "BRO'S PLAYING 5D CHESS WITH NPC SOULS"
🍿 "CHEN XIN THINKS TRUTH MATTERS AHAHAHA"
🐍 "FANG YUAN'S GASLIGHT STATS: MAX LEVEL"
SUDDENLY: CROCO-ELEPHANT RAID (NPC PANIC MODE ENGAGED)
Scout came SPRINTING LIKE A TWITCH MOD CHASING BANNED USER:
"GYATT DAMN! CROCO-ELEGIGACHADS INCOMING!"
Caravan NPCs immediately:
Merchants YEETED goods like hot potatoes
Servants RAN LIKE GTA NPCs ON 2X SPEED
Gu Masters "ACCIDENTALLY" punted elders into mud
Fang Yuan CASUALLY guided Shang Xin Ci away like:
"Watch me style on these noobs."
BOSS FIGHT:
A CHONKASSAURUS croco-elephant charged like a OHIO DRIVER ON MONSTER ENERGY.
Xiao Die: "WE'RE TOAST—"
Fang Yuan: "Skill issue."
BOOM!
FANG YUAN: -2 steps (SNOW SILVER DRIP barely dented)
BEAST: Skull PULVERIZED, corpse FOLDED like IKEA furniture
Xiao Die: "HOLY GYATT! REPORTED FOR HACKS!"
Shang Xin Ci: "Zhang who? Never heard of him."
2 WEEKS LATER: SIMP ARC UNLOCKED
After surviving:
Rock Bears (mid-tier mobs)
Cringe Deer (annoying af)
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:
Shang Xin Ci went from SCARED → "Hei Tu-senpai~"
Xiao Die became a FANG YUAN FANPAGE ("So sigma! 🥵")
Fang Yuan: "NPCs easier to train than circus animals."
THE PLOT TWIST?
Despite being DEMONIC:
✅ No stealing
✅ No betraying
✅ Actually PROTECC (when profitable)
Shang Xin Ci's brain: "Maybe demons... kinda valid?"
MU BEI MOUNTAIN: ZOMBIE LORE DUMP
BACKSTORY (PEAK VILLAIN ARC):
Wife NTR'd at wedding
Grinded 100 YEARS like an MMO no-lifer
Returned as ZOMBIE KING, CLAPPED entire clan
NAMED MOUNTAIN AFTER DEAD WIFE (simp level: MYTHICAL)
CURRENT SITUATION:
Zombies EVERYWHERE like a bad COD lobby
Clan "hunting squads" CAN'T CLEAR (noob tactics)
FANG YUAN'S FINAL SOLUTION:
Chen Xin? DELETE
Other witnesses? MASS DELETE
Method? "OOPS ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE"
As stars glowed over the cursed peak, Fang Yuan whispered:
"Only the dead don't snitch."