Chapter 115: THREE KINGS INHERITANCE (19)
THE GHOST DOCTOR'S GASLIGHT & THE LIFE/DEATH SIDE QUEST
"Bro... you're the REAL FINAL BOSS of this event. The rest of us were just NPCs FARMING FOR YOUR LOOT DROP." Killer Ghost Doctor Chou Jiu was SEATED EMOTE on the ground, giving Fang Yuan the ULTIMATE SIDE-EYE of respect.
After convincing the Land Spirit GM, Fang Yuan had SPAWN-CAMPED Chou Jiu and folded him with ease.
Chou Jiu's character model was CURSED BY THE DEV TEAM—dry straw hair, lopsided eyes, a nose like a squished pixel, and a unibrow that had its own GLITCHY PHYSICS. But his gaze had that 500 IQ GRIFTER rizz.
"Little Beast King, I've seen your SPEEDRUN STATS. From a LEVEL 1 NOOB to SERVER MENACE in record time... SHEESH. I could never. You're BUILT DIFFERENT. I'm not trying to start BEANS. Let's COLLAB. I'll trade you the COORDINATES FOR THE 'DOOR OF LIFE/DEATH' DUNGEON for my account."
Fang Yuan had just PWNED four other Rank 5 legends. They had all reacted differently—some MALDED, some COPIUM'D, some RAGED. But Chou Jiu was just... VIBING. Once he realized the situation, he dropped the ego and started GLIZZYING Fang Yuan up.
But his character was secretly BUTTON-MASHING his inventory and logout token.
The Land Spirit pinged Fang Yuan: "HURRY. HE'S TRYING TO FORCE-QUIT. I'M SUPPRESSING HIM BUT IT'S DRAINING SERVER RESOURCES FAST."
Fang Yuan almost BLUE-SCREENED. "The 'DOOR OF LIFE/DEATH'? The MYTHIC RAID ZONE from the Legends of Ren Zu lore tabs?"
This was a FORBIDDEN ENDGAME AREA, like the RIVER OF TIME or the ORDINARY ABYSS (which is just the OHIO OF THE GU WORLD). It was said to hold the SOURCE CODE FOR RESPAWN MECHANICS. If you could DATA-MINE it, you could TOGGLE GOD MODE.
"Chou Jiu has the MAP MARKERS for that place?!" Fang Yuan's heart did a FRAME-SKIP. His voice went ICE COLD. "Stop inputting commands. ONE MORE SUS ACTION and I DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT."
Chou Jiu's expression GLITCHED. His eyes did a ZOOM IN. "...You can sense my inputs. And I can't use any skills... SUS. Only one explanation—the GM (LAND SPIRIT) is still active, and you PULLED A SOCIAL ENGINEER on it. So this whole 'inheritance' was a HONEYPOT TRAP. The Three Kings were just BETA TESTERS. And now the server is on LIFE SUPPORT, the GM is LOW ON MEMORY, which is why you're manually PURGING PLAYERS instead of just BANNING US."
HE NAILED THE LORE. Dude had MAXED OUT HIS PERCEPTION STAT.
"Since you HAX the server, let's skip the CUTSCENES. Keep me alive, and the rewards will be BEYOND BROKEN." Chou Jiu stopped his inputs.
Fang Yuan didn't deny it. "Talk. The Door. It's a LEGENDARY INSTANCE with unique mobs—LIFE GU, DEATH GU. Spill."
Chou Jiu nodded. "I don't just have the coords. I've FARMED it. I even crafted a HYBRID ITEM: ONE LIFE ONE DEATH GU. I stashed it inside the instance. Every time someone dies because of my heals (or lack thereof), it absorbs DEATH XP and converts it to HEALING BUFFS. That's my whole HEALER BUILD. That's the SECRET SAUCE behind my 'KILLER GHOST DOCTOR' title."
Fang Yuan's mind was BLOWN. This was DEEP LORE even his NEW GAME+ MEMORIES didn't have.
"Tell me the deets, and maybe I DON'T REPORT YOU."
Chou Jiu shook his head. "Can't. I took a SOULBOUND OATH using the SEA OATH GU (a LEGENDARY CONTRACT ITEM). If I leak the info to outsiders, my character gets PERMA-DELETED. But... if you join my GUILD—'SHADOW SECT'—you'd be a member. The NDA wouldn't apply."
SEA OATH GU was a RANK 6 CONTRACT ITEM, like the POISON VOW GU but REUSABLE. Fang Yuan knew of it. But 'SHADOW SECT'? That was a NEW UNLOCKED FACTION.
So Chou Jiu wasn't a SOLO PLAYER? He had a HIDDEN GUILD? This changed the METAGAME. Killing him might trigger a GUILD-WIDE BOUNTY QUEST on Fang Yuan.
"Your 'SHADOW SECT'..." Fang Yuan's SIGMA SENSE tingled. "Let me guess. If I join, you not only survive, but I have to call you 'senpai' and follow guild rules, give up a cut of my loot, and run ERANDS for 'loyalty' points. NAH FAM."
He sneered. "Even if it's real, a guild from the IMMEMORIAL PATCH? If it was still META, it'd be a TOP CLAN. You wouldn't be SOLO-QUEUING. Your guildmates are probably all OFFLINE or PERMA-BANNED."
Chou Jiu's face PALED. He had to RE-EVAL Fang Yuan's game sense. This wasn't a SWEATY TRYHARD—this was a LIVING WIKI with MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY.
"Fine. The oath's weak point: It's tied to a specific OCEAN TILE in the SHADOW SECT GUILD HALL. Destroy the tile, break the oath. But to find the guild hall, you need the coords. To get the coords, you need to break the oath first. INFINITE LOOP."
Fang Yuan's killing intent SPIKED. "Then you're USELESS. UNINSTALL."
Chou Jiu sighed dramatically. "If that's your play... do it."
He was BLUFFING. No one would pass up the DOOR OF LIFE/DEATH raid info. Fang Yuan was just trying to NEGOTIATE HARD.
Fang Yuan SENT IT. A bone spike YEETED at Chou Jiu's heart.
AUDIBLE GASP. Chou Jiu SPAZ-DODGED at the last millisecond. The spike CRIT his shoulder instead.
"YOU ACTUALLY FIRED!" Chou Jiu was SHOOK. "Bro, that's the MOST CRACKED DUNGEON in the lore! Even REN ZU spent his whole PLAYTHROUGH looking for it! It's IMMORTALITY HACKS!"
Fang Yuan's UI stayed NEUTRAL. "You said you can't tell me. So you're JUST CLUTTERING MY QUEST LOG."
"JOIN MY GUILD!"
"NO."
"Then use a POISON VOW GU! We can CO-OP!"
"I DON'T TRUST PUGS."
"Then use a SLAVERY GU! I'll be your BOUND COMPANION!"
"You need a RANK 5 SLAVERY GU. That's MEGA RARE DROP. Even if I had it, could you then give me the guild hall coords?"
Chou Jiu FROZE. The oath would still DELETE HIM.
Fang Yuan watched his REACTION SKILL CHECK. The info was legit.
Chou Jiu was OUT OF COPES. "So this is where my SPEEDRUN ENDS."
"Dying to me is a PRIVILEGE," Fang Yuan stated, like it was a FACT.
Chou Jiu looked at him, and actually NODDED. "TRUE. With your GRINDSET, you'll be a WALKING SERVER WIPE. Fine. I'll SELF-REPORT. But... I have one last CLUTCH PLAY to give you the info."
A SLIMY GRIN spread on his face.
CHAPTER 385: THE SIMP, THE HIMBO, & THE GRIEF
"Alright, SPILL THE TEA. But make it TL;DR," Fang Yuan demanded.
Chou Jiu took a DEEP COPING BREATH. His face cycled through emotions like a GLITCHING EMOJI WHEEL.
"My ORIGINAL USERNAME was Zeng Ah Niu. I was a HERB GATHERING NOOB. Fell off a cliff, CLIPPED THROUGH THE MAP, and found the SHADOW SECT GUILD HALL. Passed the GM's trials, became a member. There were only two active players: me and my SENPAI—CHEN JIU."
"Senpai's character model was MAX SLIDER BEAUTY. Raised by the GM, never left the instance—pure TOUCHING GRASS INNOCENCE. My character was... CURSED. But senpai was always WHOLESOME 100 to me. We LEVELED TOGETHER, explored the LIFE/DEATH DOOR DUNGEON, farmed the rare Gus... it was PEAK GAMING."
"Then an EARTH CALAMITY EVENT bugged the guild hall. A hole opened. A WANDERING PLAYER glitched in."
"This player was CRITICALLY LOW HP. If I knew the DRAIN he'd be... I would've TEABAGGED HIS CORPSE. But I REZZED HIM. He said his name was SHANG. Had FIRE-RED HAIR. Dude had MAX CHARISMA STAT. During his recovery, he GASLIT my senpai with his SMOOTH-TALK RIzz. His character model was KINDA HIM. Senpai, being NAIVE, fell for his PRETTY BOY AURA. Started SIMPHARD for him."
"We had MAJOR GUILD DRAMA. After he healed, I tried to KICK HIM. But senpai's LOYALTY METER had switched. She BETRAYED THE GUILD OATH, PvP'D ME, and ELOPED with him."
"THE AUDACITY. I MALDED. I regretted the REZ. I hated senpai for the SWITCHEROO. I hated that HOME-WRECKER for STEALING MY LOOT. After I respawned, I left the guild hall, GRINDED Southern Border, hunting for this TOXIC DUO. Turns out, the guy was the LEADER OF THE SHANG CLAN GUILD—a MEGA-SERVER GUILDLORD."
Chou Jiu paused, looking at Fang Yuan.
Fang Yuan's face was NO REACTION. He already knew from his PAST PATCH MEMORIES.
Chou Jiu forced a COPE SMILE. "You already know. Yeah. That HIMBO is SHANG YAN FEI. My senpai, Chen Jiu, is now DOCTOR SU SHOU. I've been trying to GRIEF them for years. But... my account gets DELETED HERE. The L IS TAKEN."
"HEHEHE." Fang Yuan finally laughed. He looked down at Chou Jiu. "NICE GASLIGHT ATTEMPT. According to your lore, if you die, the only way I get the guild hall coords is from SHANG YAN FEI AND DOCTOR SU SHOU. But why would they GIVE UP THEIR SECRET HIDEOUT? We'd have to PvP. And no matter who wins, you get your REVENGE ARC. BRAVO."
"HA!" Chou Jiu laughed, a real one. "Little Beast King, you're BLUNT. Most schemers are SNEAKY. You're DIRECT. You saw through my OPEN-WORLD QUEST DESIGN. So... you still gonna take the BAIT?"
Fang Yuan stared at him. "OBVIOUSLY."
The DOOR OF LIFE/DEATH was a MYTHIC RAID. The loot potential was OFF THE CHARTS. He'd be BRAINDEAD to ignore it. Chou Jiu's plan was TRANSPARENT, but the reward was WORTH THE BEANS.
Chou Jiu laughed, TEARS EMOTE in his eyes. "RESPECT. I wish I could spectate your FUTURE WAR with that TOXIC DUO. But my PLAYTIME IS OVER."
He became calm, his gaze ENLIGHTENED. "In our guild, we see life/death as RESPAWN TIMERS. We met in the LOBBY OF EXISTENCE, and I'll LOG OFF because of you. Maybe you're FATED to find our guild hall. I'll GIFT YOU THIS QUEST CHAIN. Hope you CLUTCH IT."
He then performed the ULTIMATE COPE MOVE: He BIT HIS TONGUE and /SUICIDE.
Blood SPRAY EFFECT. The future #1 HEALER of Southern Border RAGED QUIT.
"WELL PLAYED." Fang Yuan murmured. This changed his LONG-TERM GRIND. "SHADOW SECT GUILD HALL, DOOR OF LIFE/DEATH... If I control those, my LATE-GAME SCALING is UNMATCHED."
Every Rank 5 was a LEGENDARY PLAYER with their own SPEEDRUN STRATS, SECRET GLITCHES, and HIDDEN LORE. He'd just WIPED the server's top leaderboard.
"DOCTOR SU SHOU is Chen Jiu. KILLER GHOST DOCTOR named himself CHOU JIU ('Hate Jiu'). That's some DRAMA STREAMER level beef." Fang Yuan didn't care about the LOVE TRIANGLE. It was basic HUMAN NATURE—SIMPHARD FOR THE HIMBO.
Shang Yan Fei was FAMOUSLY HANDSOME. Chou Jiu was... CURSED BY RNG. Doctor Su Shou had a MAXED 'AESTHETIC' STAT—she'd only heal BEAUTIFUL PLAYERS. Fang Yuan had seen her in Shang Clan City—she'd IGNORED him but SMILED at Bai Ning Bing's ICE QUEEN MODEL.
"The Four Great Doctors are all BUILT ODD. Traveling Doctor Jiu Zhi is a BEGGAR COSPLAYER. Divine Doctor Sheng Shou is GAY. This server is WILD."
Fang Yuan looted Chou Jiu's body. The doctor had HEALING AND MOVEMENT BUILDS. His best item was a RANK 5 WARP GU—it looked like a GLITCHED PRETZEL MODEL, perfect for its UGLY OWNER.
Then Fang Yuan used the BEAST STRENGTH PLACENTA GU. It ATE the aperture, reaching 90% APTITUDE.
Looking at the corpse, he chuckled. "Chou Jiu... you SNEAKY BASTARD. You almost got me."
In his past life memories, Chou Jiu had been ASSASSINATED mid-war, but RESPAWNED later, shocking everyone. He'd used a HIDDEN ITEM: REMNANT LIFE GU—a ONE-USE SELF-REZ.
But here, the item was SUPPRESSED by the server's admin powers. It would only activate once the server CRASHED and the suppression lifted.
Chou Jiu's whole "I ACCEPT MY FATE" speech was a PLAY to make Fang Yuan leave his body intact.
"Sorry, G. Not today." Fang Yuan GOOMBA-STOMPED the corpse into PIXEL DUST. Then he FIRE SPELLED it into ASHES. He scattered the ashes with a WIND EMOTE.
"Chou Jiu, if you RESPAWN FROM THIS, I'll admit you're the GOAT. LOL."
TWITCH CHAT:
💀 "BRO JUST UNLOCKED THE ULTIMATE REVENGE QUESTLINE!"
🍿 "DOCTOR SU SHOU IS A HIMBO-SIMPER! THE LORE IS JUICY!"
🐍 "HE TURNED THE CORPSE TO ASHES! NO SELF-REZ FOR YOU!"
🔥 "THE DOOR OF LIFE/DEATH RAID IS ON THE MENU! ENDGAME HERE WE COME!"