A/N: Fivve hunned, 500, I wants em. Gimme em. I've been posting regularly.
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It'd been a couple of days since my 'promotion'.
I leaned on the seminar table, resting my chin in my palm as Flat screamed into my ear... like usual from one side and Caules rigorously typed away at his laptop, only stopping to fix his thick glasses every once in a while. Svin was just snoring one row down.
The rest of the class had filtered out the second Waver ended his lecture, but then most of them weren't permanent members of the El-Melloi Classroom even though they were enrolled at Norwich (Modern Magecraft Theory). That was apparently supposed to be something of great honour.
"So you fought like a ghost!? That's cool. I wanna see one too! Man, why does the professor never take me?!" Flat complained, sitting up on the desk. "You probably saw some cool magecraft too, didn't you?!"
"Actually no," I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes. "There was nothing noteworthy in that whole place except one or two spells."
That was to say, Jiroubou's stuff. I found myself wondering what became of him. His weird sense of humour aside, he really wasn't that bad a guy, and most definitely didn't deserve to have his body stolen or something like that.
Flat let out an excited hum, his blue eyes shone.
"Show! Show!"
Wordlessly, I flickered into a nearby seat for the blink of an eye and then back between Flat and Caules. I was probably going to regret that... but hey, flexing like this was about the coolest thing that came with knowing magecraft.
A moment later, Flat did the same thing. Just not in a very controlled way. The idiot did move, but he just straight up launched himself across the classroom at a wall instead of a seat. The wood groaned and cracked under the sudden impact, then Flat plopped down to the ground, facefirst.
Caules didn't even bother looking up, already used to his bullshit... like everyone else.
"Ow..." He rubbed his bruised face.
"How do you even do that?" I asked curiously, raising my aviators.
Flat was NOT copying my spell, or any spell. No, he was doing something far more absurd. The sort of shit that would make a traditional magus kick the walls and pull out his hair from pure frustration. No wonder his parents kicked him out and wanted him dead.
For a magus, this man's very existence was infuriating. His flippant outlook on life and idiocy didn't help either.
"I can sense the flow of mana, you know?" Flat scratched the back of his head, looking up at me. "Then I go mash and stuff and make a spell... like so!"
His words made no sense... but that was pretty much it. He was writing a new spell that mimicked the one he was basing it on every single time. The problem was... the idiot didn't recall the spells he made. So even the same spell used twice was made from scratch both times instead of just repeated.
"I also have trouble reading stuff sometimes... if it's too overwhelming or something, gives me a headache!" He jumped up and started dusting his shirt. "Like the one you used now. It used to be able to figure out your spells easily but now it's just... ugh. It's too annoying and so fast. I hate thinking too much."
That was interesting. It meant if a spell formation was too complicated for his clinically retarded brain or too fast in activation for his perception, then his reading would fail... or he'd recreate a spell in part and have it blow up in his face.
I imagined that was what happened now, with Raven Flight.
"You hate thinking..." I murmured thoughtlessly.
"What a surprise." Caules quickly turned to the side, hiding his face with a hand. "I...I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from."
I snickered shamelessly. "Nah man, I agree. Our boy has a total of two brain cells and both of them think they're the third one."
"Oi! I'm not that stupid-"
"Did you understand what I just said?"
"Uhhh... yeah. Brain cells. Those are in your brain, right? See?! I know too!"
"Close enough."
"Don't bully the mentally inhibited." Svin finally shuffled. The wolf-boy rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms with a demure yawn.
"Go back to sleep, Le Chien."
"I can't sleep when there's a bunch of apes monkeying around in the classroom."
I cast a quiet glance at my skin for the second time since becoming a part of this world. "Being a BeASt is corny, lil bro. Get a grip."
"Don't make me-" He clenched his fists and closed his eyes. He inhaled deeply and then suddenly loosened up. "It doesn't matter. I'm above these insults."
That was... unexpectedly mature.
Unfortunately, I was not the type to respect that sort of thing.
I grinned.
"Mutt."
"Upstart."
"I'm at the same rank as you now. Dog."
"Wolf." He corrected, clenching one fist.
I didn't respond this time. No, instead, I borrowed Caules laptop and searched up a certain song. Needless to say, I also raised the volume to the max.
"CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES-!"
"I will hurt you." Svin snarled.
"Not with that candy-floss hair."
"THIS IS MY LAST RESORT-!"
"Ahahahahaha!" Flat keeled over laughing with his hands on his stomach.
"This is why no one likes you two."
He put his head on his desk again and closed his eyes, finished with our faux back-and-forth. It was a routine thing at this point and he always lost the exchange, always.
"Well, congratulations, anyway." Svin sighed finally. "It's annoying, but you deserve it."
I chuckled.
"Thanks."
Just when it seemed that silence would settle on the mostly vacant El-Melloi Classroom, the door was kicked open and the resident maniac walked in, dragging a small burlap sack behind her.
...It was Yvette.
I steepled my fingers, inhaling deeply to ready myself for the coming onslaught of whatever weird shit she'd come up with today.
"Hal I missed you a lot!" She squealed and jumped like an excited child. Her one eye was closed, the other gemstone one was hidden behind a star-shaped eyepatch... and I was pretty sure her pink lolita dress had at least half a dozen more frills and ribbons than the last time I'd seen it. "I even touched mys-"
...Crazy bitch.
She looked around curiously before putting a hand to her mouth, "What's this~? That damn Gorilla isn't around?"
"She said she needed to tell her sister about something important." I said, "Back in Finland. She'll be back."
Yvette made a big show of shaking her head from side to side, a finger on her forehead.
"How disappointing. Now, if it was me! I'd always be around you! Commando so you can always- Kuhum, that's a private discussion!"
My face paled. She winked.
"Doesn't matter. I can still be a concubine~!"
...
"Whatcha got there?"
I calmly tried to change the topic... to the out-of-place sack she was dragging along. Our classmates were straight up flabbergasted by the absolutely vile shit that she'd just spouted before with the biggest smile on her face.
"Marriage offers. Courtship offers. Adoption offers. From a lot of families. I've been gathering them for a few days now." She made a V-sign against her one normal eye. "You can thank me with a peck on the cheeks... or even the lips~."
She squealed by herself, squirming giddily.
Weirdo.
I was pretty sure she just straight up genuinely enjoyed acting crazy.
But, those thoughts were secondary, the sack was way more intriguing. It was safe to assume that those were meant for me... and they'd definitely come following my most recent 'promotion' as a magus with no link to any families.
I imagined the actual top brass, namely the leadership of the Democrats and Aristocrats, or rather, the ones in the know about the whole thing, were probably even more interested in taking me in than the others.
Was this what it felt like to be an up-and-coming celebrity?
My eyes landed on Yvette.
Her faction still remained ever elusive though. I knew less about the Neutral lords than I did about the two after my ass... that said a lot considering I knew all of jack and shit about the latter.
Yvette threw the sack on the floor. Neat, sealed letters with a variety of sigils spilled onto the wooden floor at the foot of the tilted lecture-hall type classroom.
"Those are pretty annoying." Svin opened one eye. "My mail is always stuffed."
...I shot the popular dickhead a glare.
I was definitely way better looking than this guy... and honestly, this whole thing was pretty flattering, a big plus to my already TITANIC ego. That was where my feelings about the matter started and ended. I already had a family, one I was going to prioritise above all else.
I wouldn't abandon my adorable sister for some noble shmucks.
That said I did want to at least read those-
"Gahahaha!" Yvette put her hands on her hips and leaned back to let out a villainous laugh. "As a concubine, it is my duty to keep away the predators and the huskies! And the taxation department too!"
...The taxation what-?
Her eyepatch came free with a tug to reveal a ruby eye... The eye corresponding to fire. She gave out a hum.
"Die, you materialistic freaks! Fade into obscurity along with your useless attempts at taking advantage of my future husband!"
The letters, my hopes and dreams for a bigger ego, were set alight. Black smoke rose to the ceiling as the fire leapt about the papers, turning them to ash.
"Hahahahaha! So Hal~! Are you proud of me?!"
"Are you serious..." Svin's eyes widened.
Caules jumped, drawing everyone's attention.. No one was expecting him to. He was usually pretty shy and introverted, too busy fiddling with his tech or some mystic code to pay attention.
"The classroom is made of wood!"
"Of course the classroom is made of wood-... oh wait."
The realisation hit me.
"That's fire... Throw Flat at it. That way he can serve some purpose-"
"This isn't the time for jokes!"
Before any of us could make any attempt at taking care of matters, the doors of the living chamber attached to the classroom flung open and the Professor walked out, hair disheveled, dark holes under his eyes.
He stumbled out onto the podium, visibly confused.
"What's with all the shouting-... that's a fire. Who... Who did this?!"
With not a word exchanged, all of us pointed at Yvette.
...
...
Waver took a step towards her. She took a step back.
"Wait. Wait. Professor! You wouldn't hurt someone as cute as-"
Her words cut off when she was suddenly hit with Professor Waver's infamous iron claw and raised a foot off the ground by her forehead. She kicked her feet, trying to break free... but it was futile.
"I-I was just trying to help Hal~!"
Waver's gaze shot my way.
I offered a silent prayer for my classmate and flickered to the window before giving a small salute and jumping out.
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I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please feel free to comment any thoughts, ideas, suggestions or complaints you might have. Your feedback is invaluable, and a great motivator.
You can find 7 chonky chapters ahead at patre0n.com/Bleap