"Yo, yo, Kiyomi-chan! How's it hanging? Looks like you stumbled into what degenerates call a 'BAD END.' Shame—I had high hopes for this run.
"What's this? No snarky comeback? Don't tell me you're planning to stay silent for the rest of the story.
"Well, if it's only going to be me speaking, how about I share a story with you? Yes, you—the one listening. Or reading. Whatever. The point is: I'm talking to you and only you, Kiyomi. I'd never share this story with anyone but you. You're my favorite person, Kiyomi. Never forget it.
"A long, long time ago, or should I say only a moment ago? It doesn't matter much, all the same. Once upon a time—or maybe just a moment ago—there was an emperor so bored out of his mind that he entertained himself by calling for a shepherd boy. Don't get weird ideas, you pervert. Keep your filth out of my story.
"Where was I? Oh, yeah! This emperor called upon a shepherd boy to entertain him. This shepherd boy was renowned for the wise answers he was able to conjure up. The emperor asked him a set of three questions, and if they could not be answered to his satisfaction, that meant death. If the emperor was satisfied with the answers, he would then treat the shepherd boy as his child and would be given plenty of privileges.
"The first question:
"How many drops of water are there in the ocean?
"The shepherd boy responded by saying:
"Lord King, if you will have all the rivers on earth dammed up so that not a single drop runs from them into the sea until I have counted it, I will tell you how many drops there are in the sea.
"He was pointing out the obvious: the question is absurd. Impossible—or at least so impractical it may as well be. But it would take more than a lifetime to do so.
"The second question:
"How many stars are there in the sky?
"The shepherd boy responded by saying:
"Give me a great sheet of white paper
"And then he made so many fine points on it with a pen that they could scarcely be seen, and it was all but impossible to count them; anyone who looked at them would have lost his sight.
"Once he was done, he then said:
"There are as many stars in the sky as there are points on the paper; just count them.
"No one did so. They understood his message. But was it such an impossible task? If given enough time, could all of those dots have been counted? And if someone actually counted them all…how would they feel? Relieved? Or furious, they wasted their life on something no one else would ever bother to verify?
"Finally, the third, and final question asked by the king:
"How many seconds in eternity?
"The shepherd boy answered:
"Far away, there is a mountain made of pure diamond. It takes 100 years to climb and 100 years to go around. Every 100 years, a bird flies to the very tip of the mountain to sharpen its beak. Once the mountain is completely chiseled down, then, and only then, will the first second of eternity have passed.
"And so, the shepherd boy earned a place in the royal palace.
"What a wonderful story, in my opinion.
"Humans tend to have all their questions directed towards things that can be answered, but by something that isn't human. A being whose life lasts longer, way longer, than humans may be able to count how many drops of water there are in the ocean. Hopefully, it doesn't do so while we're still walking on this planet. A being whose life lasts longer, way longer, than humans may be able to count how many stars there are in the sky. Hopefully, it doesn't grow lonely, realizing how small it is in the grand scheme of things. A being whose life lasts longer, way longer, than humans may be able to find out how many seconds in eternity. That must be what humans call God. You joke around with my name, calling me Kami-sama, but I'm no good; I can't find out how many seconds are in eternity.
"No, maybe that being doesn't need to be a God. They can merely be a fool who's playing God. Someone who can experience death but come back from it. Someone weak, yet can see it all.
"Everything you see, touch, smell, taste, and hear—it's just sense data your mind translates. I almost said 'human,' but that wouldn't have been entirely true, now would it?
"But the world in front of you? That's your world.
"You may not be able to count how many seconds have passed since the creation of the universe, but you can live every moment that you are alive.
"That is eternity.
"I, too, once put too high a value on time. That's why I wished to be 100 years old. In eternity, however, there is no time. Eternity is but a mere moment—just long enough for a joke.
"Just long enough for a joke. I like that! Instead of calling your ability a 'wish,' let's call it what it really is—A Joke. I hope it's not too late to retcon something so crucial at the end of the volume. Of course, it's not too late! It's never too late! Always remember that.
"Let's get back on track! What you experience, what you call life, is an eternity. It is but a mere moment. But no matter how ephemeral your eternity is, you are allowed to enjoy it. No matter how much you hate yourself, you should always shoot for that happy ending. I want to see that, too.
"Not for your sake—no, no. For mine.
"Some think eternity is a hell of a time—
"Me? I think it's one hell of a bird—
And then—after an eternity—I woke up.