The slow creaking of the student council's front door interrupted my quiet entry into the unfamiliar room, a room I was only joining due to a forceful conscription... I suppose the battlefield I'll find myself on isn't the deadliest in that case... Is what one might think, however, the scowl directed at me gave a different impression. One that had me fearing for my very existence.
A single student, one I was acquainted with, sat at the large round table, a book in her hands, though there was something clearly strange about its orientation...
Not wanting to make an awkward scene I decided to introduce myself or at least greet her in an acceptable manner, etiquette and all that. Wouldn't want to make a bad impression on my first day of work as it were... " Mo-"
"So you've finally arrived?" ...Only to be rudely interrupted by the picture of diligence sat at the head of the table. Well it was a round table, so it didn't have a head so to speak but you get the picture. My friendly greeting was all but shattered into a billion shards and scattered to oblivion upon the cold retort from the only other person present in the room.
"Am I late?" I asked, trying to seem innocuous to what would essentially be my boss for the time being... First Sojiro, then Takemi, now Niijima. My life might become one that is synonymous with being pushed around in the workplace, I was becoming the picturesque view of the typical Japanese salaryman before I had even graduated.
"No- in the future, it would be a bit more suitable if you arrived slightly earlier." I was already ten minutes earlier than the designated meeting time.
"...Am I being initiated or something?" This felt unnaturally unfair. I doubted that she was going to rip the rest of the student council members a new one. Though, maybe she was going for the drill sergeant from hell sort of leadership role... Her and Horikita would get along like two piranhas in the same lake.
"No... whatever makes you think that?" I couldn't help but notice that the book she's reading is upside down... Like she was surprised that I had shown up this early. Though, I didn't bother pointing that out.
"I mean..." I made a show of looking around the desolate room. "None of the other members are even here yet. If anything I'm early, aren't I?"
"Not at all. I was told you have incredible abilities, so I want to estimate them properly. As such I'll hold you to the same standard I hold myself to." Now who exactly was spreading lies about me?
"While I can't exactly stop you from doing that, we aren't the same person."
"True. But I still expect you to be capable of everything I am. I can't imagine the teachers would have recommended you so highly if not. Though, I can't agree with them..." Recommended? Haah... so that's what this is about. If you're going to act like this is a punishment you should sell the performance. Saying anything else to a strict person like Niijima will only have a negative effect.
For me that is.
I gazed along the blank corridors, we seemed to be alone for the time being... I shut the door with a soft click and turned to her. "Before anyone arrives could we discuss this openly?"
"Discuss what?" She attempted to look unperturbed, but the slight narrowing of her eyes told me otherwise. Not like I needed the hint, the fact she had yet to correct the upturned book in her hand was already telling enough.
"I'm guessing that you think it's unfair I was offered this opportunity despite it being obvious I should be being punished." In my eyes I was being punished, but it was all about perspective, in their view this is a privilege. It isn't like this isn't a good opportunity for me as well, though I didn't want a lot of my free time to be eaten up by the student council. It was the same reason I had rejected the older Horikita in the past. I didn't have any interest in it. I didn't do things I didn't want to... without good reason.
Thinking in that way, it would undoubtably count as a punishment. Though that probably doesn't matter in the slightest to the fierce student council president before me.
"..." Her lingering silence spoke volumes about her true feelings on the matter.
"You've probably tried your hardest to gain this position and it would no doubt bother you that I've basically been promoted despite being involved in a scandal with Sakamoto." Principal Kobayakawa hangs onto my ANHS status despite not being able to make use of it publicly. He took the chance for a student on probation to receive education here. Additionally he relies on the volleyball club for its positive reputation. Recommendations from this place tend to go pretty far. Distinguished grades, club exploits or civil service seem to be the best ways to receive that commendation. As such student council members probably put in a lot of effort for those recommendations. An outsider suddenly being given the same privilege probably wouldn't sit well with them. Especially the strict and diligent almost militaristic leader that is Niijima Makoto. The frontrunner for the upperclassmen grades for two years running. No doubt it will remain the same for her final year in this academy.
She held herself strict to principles, the only question was; whose were they?
"..."
"I have no intention of stepping on your toes. I might not have opted for this role myself, but I promise to dedicate myself appropriately."
"...Is that true?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I won't sugarcoat it then. I don't like you." She said in a self-assured tone.
"..." Harsh. It wasn't petty or arrogant, rather it seemed that she really did just dislike my placement and the treatment I was getting. Maybe drill sergeant wasn't too far off the mark.
"You're basically just performing community service, yet you'll get the same benefits as student council members, all because you've come from a special school. It's frustrating. There's obvious preferential treatment going on here... If it were up to me, you would've received the same punishment as Sakamoto-kun, seeing as you both contributed to that ordeal." I was given a vague reminder of the trial Sudou played a part in at the start of our first year. On paper we might appear to have the same guilt and thus deserve the same punishment, but in practice mine and Sakamoto's standings are far too different. I am useful, an asset. Sakamoto is anything but that.
While it might sound wrong for teachers to be disregarding a student, who they should be guiding to a positive future, they can only do so much to correct a student's path. At a certain point, the school as a collective has to be weighed against the individual. As such, without any interference Sakamoto's suspension will become expulsion in the future. It doesn't have to be this incident or any other in the future. He's caused enough problems without contributing to the school all whilst surrounding himself with enemies, his end is inevitable.
The same couldn't be said about me. Niijima realises this as well but doesn't want to admit it.
"You've got quite the sense of justice." Because it would shatter that frail idea of justice and equality all too quickly.
"Are you mocking me?" I shook my head quietly. Simply questioning the resolve that comes with that mindset.
"Not at all." Such a strong sense of morality was useful if not essential for a person in her position. Though that will bring her plenty of trouble in the future, especially when 'justice' doesn't benefit those she serves...
"..." She cleared her throat, making an effort to reorganise some papers, knocking them against the table a few times repeatedly to straighten them out. Her hands reaching back to the book she had discarded, the realisation dawning upon her; that it was upside down. She quickly glanced back towards me, with a faint blush on her face.
"Not to change the topic but... how long have you been here?" I rifled through my bag, pretending to check I had all of my lesson materials inside, ignoring the slightly flustered nature of the girl before me.
"I make an effort to arrive before anyone else. That's always been the case." That told me everything and nothing all at once.
"That's an admirable level of diligence."
"It's merely what is expected of the student council president." Strange. I actually didn't feel any lingering pride from that statement. She was different from Horikita in that way.
Still...
I wish it was Okumura instead! Why couldn't I get a comforting upperclassmen instead of this prison warden?
"Does that mean you are examining me under the same expectations?"
"..." Looks like that would be the case.
"I don't intend to become student council president. Not only that... examining people using your same metrics of judgement isn't the most optimal way of doing things."
"I believe that choice is mine to make, like you already said there's nothing you can do about it." It would be incredibly easy to disqualify me on the terms I didn't meet her expectations, by simply raising those expectations to an unreasonable level.
"True. But in this instance, it would be more prudent to judge me like one of the other members of the student council. If they aren't late, then neither am I." However, Niijima-senpai had her own justice. She needed to be fair in some way.
"...You've come well regarded as an asset thus I will expect a certain level of effort placed into your role." With the book's orientation corrected she flipped the page, though I very much doubted she was actually taking in any of the information laden on the pages.
"That's your prerogative. However we aren't the same." Arguing against the fact would be pointless in the first place, everyone had different priorities. I just hoped it wouldn't be too difficult to relay that to the current student council president. However, I had the sudden preconception that she may be a tad more stubborn that one might expect, the disdain she held for my position probably didn't help that either.
"..."
"Where do you live, Niijima?"
"Why does that matter? Also where are your manners, I am your senpai and the student council president, it wouldn't kill you to be polite would it?" She looked almost unnaturally off guard by the question... It's not like I'm going to follow you home. Maybe that was my fault on account of the phrasing of the question, and she is a girl, no matter how cocksure she might appear.
"...I'll word it another way so you're not as wary, Niijima-senpai. What mode of transportation do you take to school every day?" I noticed how similar I sounded to an anonymous study and felt slightly perturbed by it.
"The train. Ginza line, from the Teikyuu building."
"Is that the only one?"
"Yes..."
"That alone is an imbalance. I take a train from Yongen-jaya and then the same train as you do afterwards. To arrive at the same time would mean taking more time out of my sleep schedule to meet an arbitrary quota you've set."
"..."
"Besides that I also contribute to the volleyball club, help out with the café my guardian runs and have other pursuits outside of school that I would like to continue. To judge us by the same metrics would be unfair to us both." I had no issue with Niijima disliking me or even hating me outright, her diligence and strict adherence to authority made that more than likely already. However, if she was going to make a habit of this aggressive behaviour it would quickly become annoying. Better to pull the band-aid off quickly than let this attitude fester.
"So you have no intention of taking this seriously..." She sighed heavily, though a look of satisfaction snuck through.
"I'll perform in this situation with timeliness and a level of professionalism that you would expect. However, asking me to drop everything else on account of this duty is impossible." Life exists outside of this bubble we call school. I wondered how long it would take her to realise that was the case, or if she ever would...
"I'll be the one judging your performance, and rest assured it will reach Principal Kobayakawa's desk. Any problems and I'll report it straight away. I'll not let some outsider ruin the reputation of the student council, do you understand me?"
"..."
"Here." She flapped a neat stack of papers onto the table and slid them towards me. Her finger was so pointed and firm I almost thought she had cut through the table itself.
"Manage those by the end of the week."
"...No formal training beforehand?"
"If you can do that... I'll get off your back for the time being. If not, you'll do every step of this job as I say." She probably didn't have the authority to remove me from the student council unless I messed up particularly badly, but she could dictate how I operated here... I understood the premise, but I didn't really want this girl breathing down my neck for the rest of the year, no matter how pretty she might be.
Still... Black hair, red eyes, pretty, a penchant for violence and an aggressive attitude. Is God developing new Horikita's and dropping them in front of me wherever I go? Because I don't like it. Not one bit.
I stifled a sigh, reaching towards the papers. I attempted to flip through them, though her finger stuck to the paper preventing my rifling. How petty.
"Sigh... Fine. You have my agreement." Not like she particularly needed it. This was just to fuel the ego. The 'justice' that she followed.
"Even if you can't solve those issues by then, ensure you don't make them worse. After all, we'll be forced to fix your mess at the end if you do." I wondered exactly what troublesome task she had sent my way...
"Noted."
"From now on meet every morning for a debriefing as well as every Wednesday after school for a meeting. Whether it is in the way of your volleyball schedule or not isn't my problem. Ensure you attend." Her tone didn't allow for any arguments.
"Understood."
"...Oh, you can leave now."
"Huh...? Aren't the others going to arrive? I thought I was supposed to introduce myself."
"I told them to leave the meeting for today. I wanted to talk to you alone before then."
"..."
"So... seeing as this meeting only involved the two of us that would mean you really were late, wouldn't it?" Her lips curled into a victorious smirk.
"..." I don't know why but that actually irked me for a moment.
"This is a big moment for you, huh?" I asked sarcastically.
"Out of my office." She replied without missing a beat.
"Got it."
"..."
"Oh, and you should teach me that trick later."
"Trick? What-?"
"You know; reading upside down. It must be really useful if the student council president gets up to that in her own time."
"Wha-! Ah! No, I was just-! Get out!" She threw the book towards the archway, the pages slapping against the door as I quickly shut it behind me.
She'll probably hold that against me for a while.
Worth it.
[Phantom Opera]
Before I knew it Thursday had descended upon me. My monotonous routines were getting somewhat easier to handle, despite the interruption that was a vacation in a foreign land, life got back to normal(?) sooner than one might think.
School. Volleyball. Student council work. Café. Or change it up with a visit to Takemi's practice.
The slight variation that existed was basically meaningless. Not that I had a distaste for it. In fact I was actually enjoying it, I think? Maybe? The more I questioned it, the more I became unsure of that being the truth.
Perhaps it was the weighty object currently in my hand that was the reason for these spiralling thoughts. If I use this... things will change drastically. Immediately. Whether that was for the worse or better was dependent on the person. In fact I could see the possible future littered with a crowd of faces that might thank me with tears in their eyes if I went through with this measure.
Of course there were some risks that came alongside it... but I could probably manage even in that case, the main problem would be the people that knew I had it in my possession. Of which there were very few, it was uncertain if there would even be traces of its usage leftover with how I intend to use it...
It was basically untraceable as far as I could tell. Way too easy. Very little cleanup. Super convenient.
If there was anything that could dissuade me from actually calling it to action... it would be morality and ethics. I sat on the edge of the small, elevated pedestal covered with a mattress more akin to a large sponge than anything a person might choose to sleep on. Sat there numbly digesting my plan so far. Prepared to have the eternal debate of the sanctity of life, awaiting the small angel and devil that would argue between my two shoulders like in an old cartoon or sitcom... yet nothing appeared.
Because I already knew.
There was nothing to debate. The only thing of importance was what had to be done.
I'm not the type of person that even takes the time to question it.
I knew it as soon as Eligor's deceased body fell right at my feet and blood pooled until the last drop. I tried to move past it convincing myself that that incident was an exception, I was under a combat stress induced scenario, there was no room for pulling punches. His life was forfeit because he threatened mine. Eligor lived and died like a warrior, that was his way of life. No matter if the metaverse was less 'real' than our world.
But what about now?
My quality of life might be under duress, but my life isn't in any danger. I'm not a victim of these crimes. I know who the victims are, I see their faces day in and day out. Pretending to know nothing to the contrary, cavorting with the perpetrator to set the board in my favour.
I wonder what's worse?
The fact that I held this weapon in my hands prepared to use it under the guise of protecting others?
Or that the moment I choose not to pull the trigger; I condemn others to suffer even further? Waiting for it, pouncing on their vulnerability as the next effective weapon in my arsenal...
I imagined it... Vividly. The tear-stricken faces, screams of agony and the unnoticed whimpers of the downtrodden.
Their faces superimposed like waves on a sonogram. Why could I see it so clearly as if I had orchestrated it myself? But more than anything why...?
...
No matter how sick the thought makes me, should make me, my mouth emits no bile. My stomach doesn't move an inch and my limbs manoeuvre with the same unquestionable precision as they always have.
...
'I had yet to bare my fangs...' was it?
...I wish that was the case.
I was the opposite. I knew that now, ever since interacting with the monotony of the so-called normal world.
My fangs were pointed at this world indiscriminately, always prepared to take a bite out of anything that might threaten my existence. Whether it was dangerous to my being or even if it had the possibility of changing me into someone else. Because the body knew...
Even when the mind couldn't keep up, even with the resonant dissonance I feel at times, with my fading memories and the picture of what 'Ayanokouji Kiyotaka' looks like slowly fracturing and falling into the background. It knew...
I cannot change into another person.
In this world where fitness necessitates survival, it was adaptability that reigned supreme. I couldn't become someone else, I survived by becoming something else... That's how I had always done it before now. That's how I would always continue to survive.
My father's lessons. All that time I spent trapped in that birdcage, it wasn't to build a person. It was to build a being capable of survival no matter the environment.
The metaverse, the real world. ANHS. Or even my father's mansion, that 'home' of mine.
There was no difference.
What I have to do is no different. No matter the cost. I should be prepared for any action, no matter how abhorrent, no matter how much I dirty my hands, so long as I win. That's all that matters.
I spoke those magic words to myself.
Fingering the metallic device with a clink, checking the implement had yet to be tampered with.
It was as I had left it.
I pocketed the tool prepared to make my way for what might be a final time into the metaverse, and Kamoshida's twisted mind brought to life.
...
Do I want to use this?
...No. Deep inside, even if the thought didn't make my heart race or my knees buckle over with grief and doubt. I would prefer it didn't come to this extreme.
I was stubborn. There was another method, I recognised it. Played with it in the deepest recesses of my mind. As soon as his treasure; the one thing he must keep in his hands at all costs was revealed to me, it became a possibility. But I wouldn't risk it, nor would I speak it into existence.
Because it would mean giving up on myself altogether.
I wagered a life, a dirty one, mind you. But a life all the same against that internal pride of mine. And the life lost...
...Will I always be like this?
Silently, I wished for something slightly different in the future.
There was a better alternative, one that risked less for everyone... everyone but me that is... If I had any conscience... I should turn back now. Risk exposure and act the part of the martyr whoever sent this application and the metaverse itself to me, expects me to.
That, however, was not something I could do...
Wood creaked as I stepped down the beaten oak stairs towards the café proper.
Sojiro's tired voice dragged me from my thoughts briefly. "You heading out? Don't be gone too long, alright? It's getting dark out there."
"...You worried about me?" I said, knowing full well a sarcastic retort was coming my way.
He scoffed. "Couldn't give less of a crap about you, I need those hands in working condition for tomorrow as well." He looked up from the glassware he was currently washing, briefly scanning my apparel. "Bit overdressed for this heat, aren't you?"
What a slave driver.
"Haven't got much option, need to buy some other clothes soon enough. I'll be back."
"What you got on this late anyway? You look presentable for once... Let me guess; lover's retreat?" Sojiro asked, the slightest incredulous mutter escaping from his lips. As if having plans was something out of the norm for me... He wasn't wrong.
"...What can I say; your words struck a chord with me the other day." I didn't bother correcting him. You could even say this was partially for Suzui as well, so I wasn't particularly lying about my motives. It was a date with destiny... so to speak.
"Hmm... Well, good luck."
"...Thanks."
"Oh, but if you get rejected and heartbroken don't think that excuses you from work." My guardian slipped that little reminder in before I could escape from the premises.
"...I'll keep it in mind." He really was too kind at times.
"Knock 'em dead."
"..."
I'm afraid I might just do that...
The bell chimed lightly as I shut the door to the café.
Now then...
What awaited me?
Did my pawn finally reach the other side of the board, or would he remain nothing but a piece to be moved, clueless to his own fate?
Show me.
I'm waiting.
---
Word count: 4068
I might've made Makoto a tad bit confrontational which might seem odd or just straight up out of character, hopefully this isn't the case. I think she has a heightened sense of justice, she cannot forgive inequality. Ayanokouji's situation perfectly reflects the favourability certain students get. As such Makoto believes it is her own personal duty to correct his position even if she has to be particularly harsh to do so, however, in the same way Makoto cannot be 'unfair' in her actions to bring about that result. As such she gives Ayanokouji a chance to prove himself, though the trials he will have to complete will be difficult in that same estimation.
Wanted to do some other character moments and volleyball stuff but I think it's important that Ayanokouji's mental state and introspection gets some spotlight. I'm sure some of you can tell already, in fact someone pointed towards his odd behaviour in recent chapters, but there is clearly something bothering him... Who's to say how that will help or hinder his development going forward?
Either way, I'll try to keep it as interesting as possible.
Feel free to visit patreon.com/Shir0249
Hopefully you all enjoyed, let me know any of your thoughts in the comments.
Until next time.