You said I haven't changed at all.
That I've always been like this,
like loving me was watching someone stay frozen in the same pain.
But what did you expect?
Did you want me to learn how to beg for love?
Did you hope I'd break just to please you?
Was the goal for me to unravel
to cry until the tears became oceans
and my soul drowned quietly in them?
Is that what you meant?
To wound me so deeply that I would never fully heal?
To make me afraid of ever loving again?
To make me see everyone through the eyes of betrayal,
to believe that kindness always carries hidden knives?
Did you want me to stay where you left me,
shattered, afraid,
a shadow of the girl who once believed in love?
If so, then I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Because even before I met you,
I dreamt of being Miss Independent.
I imagined a world where I didn't need saving
where I didn't need you.
Love just… happened.
Unexpected. Uninvited.
But real.
And no, I don't regret loving you.
Because you were a lesson,
a brutal, unforgettable one.
You showed me what it feels like to burn
and still walk out of the fire.
But just because I loved you
doesn't mean I'll shrink to fit your memory.
I won't bend to the version of myself
that made it easier for you to leave and to love me.
I'll change, but on my terms.
I'll adapt, but not erase the parts of me
that existed before you touched them.
Because next time, I want something stronger.
Next time, I want a love that doesn't hurt when it's held.
I want to fight for something whole,
not wrestle with something that never truly belonged to me.
And if it isn't mine,
no matter how tightly I cling,
no matter how long I stay,
it will still slip through my fingers.
I want wholehearted, not half-hearted.
I want truth, not teasing.
I want forever, not maybe.
I was crafted by the same God that made you.
So why shouldn't I believe I deserve good things too?
Why shouldn't I believe
that I'm worthy of the best love,
the softest peace,
the loudest joy?
I'm not here to envy you.
I won't steal from your plate.
But don't expect me to starve and smile.
I won't sit quietly and pretend
that I don't deserve to eat too,
to feast on happiness,
to be chosen,
to be loved in full.
My journey to independence has just begun.
While you've seen the end of a chapter,
I'm still turning pages.
And this,
this is only my beginning.
So don't look back expecting the same girl.
She's already walking away.