"That was actually one of the issues I was trying to find a way to bring up," Lichfield admitted.
"Oh, that's easy," Barchoke said. "'Hey kid, you know those over-sexualized stories about you set some time in the future? Well I've been reading them!' I'm sure that'd go over great."
Harry's face felt on fire again.
"You haven't been reading the one I sent you, have you?" he asked her somewhat fearfully.
Hermione smiled. "I never got the chance to," she admitted. "I showed my dad and he immediately confiscated it. He came back later and forbid me to read them until ten years after he was dead, so I know they must be really bad."
Harry felt a bit better again.
"I don't think I'm old enough to read them yet," the Overseer told Hermione, making him feel worse again. The old bailiff had an amused look on his face.
They were that bad but Ginny had been reading the last several years? It was a good thing Harry got Mrs. Weasley to keep her away from him then, and glad he missed her birthday yesterday. It was frankly astounding she hadn't attacked him in his sleep already.
"Due to the compartmentalized nature of Gringotts, we've been having trouble tracking down anything related to the publisher, Bumblebee Press," Barchoke informed them. "It looks like the whole operation disappeared a few years ago after the last book came out. Wherever they went a lot of money went with them."
"You were a big hit with Quidditch-loving middle-age witches," Lichfield said dryly.
"Was Dumbledore involved?" Hermione asked seriously, not letting humor get in the way.
"You think we could pry those files out of Corporate Accounts?" the old bailiff asked Barchoke.
"No," the goblin said with a quick shake of his head. "People are starting to talk. They haven't said anything to my face yet, but you can see it when you look at them. I tell them I want something and I can tell they're going to run off to their Overseer as soon as my back is turned. If I can't give them something concrete to show it's a legitimate suspicion it'll be hard to justify why I want those files. Sooner or later they're going to want to know what's going on. Why do you think Dumbledore's involved?" he asked Hermione curiously.
"In the non-magical world, any story depicting a real person would have to have authorization from the person himself," Hermione said. "Or in this case it'd have to come from his guardian, otherwise they'd face legal action against them. That leads me to believe the writer or publisher must've known Dumbledore personally in order to get permission."
Barchoke looked over to Lichfield; the old bailiff looked thoughtful.
"I've never gotten into the laws around publishing," he said finally. "Don't know anyone who has, actually. We've been keeping our investigation close to our chest," he told Harry, "because we want everything neat and tidy before we go public. I'm actually astounded I haven't been flooded with owls carrying legal motions yet. I don't think the old man's taking me seriously, which I'm thankful for - and a little insulted by, actually. You got anything else, Little Miss Litigator?" he asked Hermione.
"The name itself, Bumblebee Press," she said. "Taken by itself it means nothing, but with the author's name, Ida Beeman, you can start to see a pattern. Someone's being cute and playing with words. If you take the name apart, Ida Beeman becomes 'I the bee man' and Dumbledore is actually an archaic word for a humming insect - a bee. He's the bee man of Bumblebee Press."
Lichfield blinked at her before turning to Barchoke, who had his finger to his lips in thought.
"You think that's enough?" he asked.
"Not unless-," the goblin said before flying through his files.
Harry was flummoxed. "How'd you figure all that out?" he asked Hermione.
"I - I used to study etymologies for spelling bees," she admitted embarrassed.
"You sure that wasn't entomology?" Harry smiled.
"What's a spelling bee?" Lichfield asked.
As it happened, explaining the difference between entomology and etymology took no time at all, it was why anyone would face off over spelling prowess that proved more difficult to understand. True to form though Lichfield soon found something to joke about.
"A spelling bee nets Dumbledore as Ida Beeman," he said with a grin. "That'll make a great article for the Daily Prophet, and it might help me with something else I wanted to investigate."
"Gah!" Barchoke exploded. "I need more files!"
"What're you going on about?" Lichfield asked.
"It's brilliant," the goblin said with a mad gleam in his eye.
"That's great," Lichfield deadpanned. "Care to share with the whole class?"
"Huh?" the goblin said, looking up as if rediscovering that he wasn't alone. "Oh, those funny muggle investments - the ones that don't exist because we can't make them," he said to Harry to refresh his memory. "What if Gropegold wasn't just using them to make money disappear into his own pockets, what if he was using them to hide funding the entirety of Bumblebee Press?"
"Is it enough to get the files you want?" Harry asked.
"Just try to stop me!" the goblin said with a mad grin.
"So did you catch any of what we were talking about?" Lichfield asked.
"A bunch of useless twaddle," Barchoke said with a wave. "The suspicion's good enough to let me dig through the corporate files, but I don't think Dumbledore is Ida Beeman."
"Why not?" Harry asked, somewhat amused at the idea of grey-bearded old Dumbledore being a romance novelist.
"Ida Beeman's always been described as a reclusive old woman, and the books don't read like a man wrote them, even one like Dumbledore," Barchoke said curiously.
"You mean you've actually read them?" Lichfield asked with a grin.
"You said they could hold clues - Oh, you little-," the goblin said shaking a clinched fist at the old human.
"My other suspect would be Bathilda Bagshot," Hermione said, silencing all other discussion.
"Bagshot?" Barchoke asked. "The old history hack? She wouldn't know what real history was if it happened right in front of her."
"She has far too high an opinion of Dumbledore not to be friends with him," Hermione pressed.
"A lot of people have a very high opinion of the man," Lichfield countered. "That's half the problem we're going to have with the case."
"She is a reclusive old woman though," Barchoke pointed out. "And she has experience in both writing and publishing."
"And since all she does is retell the same old myths and Ministry lies and calls them all truth," Lichfield said, now nodding along. "It'd be a small step to take to invent your own story."
Barchoke, though, started shaking his head.
"There's no way I could get my hands on her file though, even if I found female blood or a magical signature that wasn't Dumbledore's in Bumblebee's files. Her account isn't hereditary and I've already invaded enough Personal Accounts to warrant suspicion against me. I'd have to have something with her by name and Dumbledore hasn't been that stupid."
"If it's her," Lichfield said with a smile, "I think I've got a way to get her to admit it herself. We leak that Dumbledore is Beeman to a certain member of the press and watch as the world goes crazy," he said conspiratorially. "Everyone's beloved academic is exposed as a lust-peddler, whose books are then trashed in the press, and if Bagshot is the real Beeman her pride will get her to come forward to claim credit and defend what she wrote - then you'll have all the proof you need to go after her."
"That's deliciously devious," Barchoke said approvingly. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."
"Won't that just increase sales and attract all sorts of unwanted attention to Harry?" Hermione asked concerned.
Harry hadn't thought of that. Even without Dobby's warning this was already shaping up to be a horrible year at Hogwarts.
.....
Want to read ahead. Then Join my Pa*treon 60+ exclusive chapters that are waiting for you.
Free members can get 5 advanced chapters FOR FREE.
Link: pa*treon.com/Lotus_Lover (Remove the *)
Join Right Now