The Oscar ceremony dragged on forever.
Besides the awards, there were performances, tributes to the art, and a "memoriam" segment honoring industry folks who'd passed away in the last year. During that part, Kevin Spacey stepped up and asked everyone to stand for a moment of silence for the victims of the 9/11 attacks.
This year's Oscars once again showed off the art of balance.
The big awards got split between four hot films: Moulin Rouge!, The Unsinkable, A Beautiful Mind, and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.
After Pixar's Monsters, Inc. snagged Best Original Song, with a live performance to boot, it was time for some of the juicier awards—Best Screenplay!
The Oscars split this into two categories: Best Original Screenplay and Best Adapted Screenplay, both handed out by the same pair of presenters at the same time.
Here's the fun part: Dunn scored nominations for both. He was up for Best Original Screenplay with Juno and Best Adapted Screenplay with A Beautiful Mind.
Last year, he'd won Best Adapted Screenplay for Girl, Interrupted—his first little gold man.
This year? He was still the one to beat!
Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow were the presenters. They started with Best Original Screenplay. ABC's cameras zoomed in on the Juno crew first, giving Dunn a big close-up before panning to the other nominees.
Juno was the darling of awards season. Sure, Dunn's Golden Globes rant had stirred up a media storm, but it wasn't just hype—the movie crushed it at the box office too!
So far, Juno had raked in over $130 million in North America, crossing the $100 million mark with ease. Overseas, it was quieter, pulling in $50 million.
This feminist flick, made for just $8 million, had been out for three months and already hit $180 million worldwide!
It even outdid new releases like Resident Evil and Saw II.
Rose Pictures, the studio behind it, shot to fame overnight!
Now, the whole critic crowd was buzzing about Rose's next projects—The Hours, Chicago, Gone Girl.
Feminists were out in full force, hyping up Rose Pictures like crazy.
A movie this hot had to win something, right?
You could tell from ABC's broadcast that they thought Best Original Screenplay was Juno's best shot.
It only had two nominations: Best Actress and Best Original Screenplay.
Best Actress? No way.
Natalie Portman was great, no doubt, but she was too young.
Plus, everyone knew Dunn's beef with the Golden Globes was all about Natalie.
The Oscars weren't about to pour gas on that fire.
If they gave Natalie the Best Actress win, it'd be a slap in the Golden Globes' face.
The Academy and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association would be at each other's throats for good.
Sure enough, Ethan Hawke read out the winner for Best Original Screenplay: "Julian Fellowes, Gosford Park."
Then came Best Adapted Screenplay, announced by Gwyneth Paltrow—someone Dunn wasn't exactly a fan of. "Dunn Walker, A Beautiful Mind."
You could tell how much the room respected each winner by the applause.
Julian Fellowes got a solid round of claps—pretty enthusiastic!
But when "Dunn Walker" was called? The applause wasn't just loud—it was like thunder before a storm!
The whole place stood up. Everyone clapped.
A legit standing ovation!
Dunn knew the ABC cameras were locked on him right then. He got up smoothly, flashed a small smile, gave Natalie a quick cheek kiss, high-fived the A Beautiful Mind crew, and strolled up to the stage like it was no big deal.
No trace of nerves, just calm—like this was all expected.
It was a stark contrast to Julian Fellowes, who'd practically bounced up there, cheering like a kid.
…
Over at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, President Lorenzo Soria caught the news of Dunn's win on TV. He grabbed his phone and dialed Kirk Douglas almost instantly.
"It's just a screenplay award. Why are you freaking out?" Kirk Douglas snapped. He didn't want Dunn winning either—it was already eating at him—and now this nagging call was pushing his buttons.
"It's the Oscars!" Lorenzo shot back, fuming. "Didn't you say you had pull with them? How come you can't even keep Dunn Walker in check?"
Kirk exploded. "What are you talking about? Some wet-behind-the-ears kid—I can't handle him? I told you, it's just a screenplay award. It's not a big deal!"
Lorenzo sneered over the line. "Not a big deal? Are you senile or just playing dumb? That kid won, and he's won Best Adapted Screenplay back-to-back! No one's ever done that in Oscar history—he's the first!"
Kirk's veins bulged. "What's your point? I never promised I'd block Dunn at the Oscars! Don't forget, our target's Natalie Portman—that girl! Stop stirring up nonsense!"
"Me stirring nonsense? The Golden Globes are getting trashed by the media, and it's all because of you!"
Lorenzo couldn't let it go. Teaming up with Kirk to rig Natalie's nomination was the biggest regret of his life.
Kirk took a deep breath, barely holding back his rage. "I'll say it again: the Golden Globes mess is about that girl, not Dunn Walker. As long as Natalie doesn't win Best Actress, the Globes have a million excuses to spin it. You don't need to lose your mind over a screenplay award."
Lorenzo's voice turned icy. "From now on, don't even think about meddling with the Golden Globes again!"
He slammed the phone down.
Kirk listened to the dial tone, then hurled the phone across the room.
"That bastard!"
He was livid!
Part of his fury came from the call, but the rest? It was the smug face of Dunn Walker on the TV screen.
That calm, breezy smile of Dunn's? To Kirk, it was pure provocation!
He was pissed. Beyond pissed!
But beneath the anger, a flicker of shock and fear crept in.
On the phone, Kirk had told Lorenzo their goal was stopping Natalie from winning Best Actress.
Truth was, his real enemy was Dunn Walker. He'd quietly reached out to his old Academy buddies, letting them know he didn't want Dunn walking away with anything.
And the result?
A slap in the face!
Not only did Dunn win, but he made history—the first person to win Best Adapted Screenplay two years in a row!
"Has his network grown that big already? He's only 24…"
Kirk stared at Dunn on the screen, holding up his Oscar, and muttered to himself, dazed.
He knew Dunn had recently shared his "blockbuster formula" with Hollywood and donated a state-of-the-art building to USC, boosting his rep and clout.
Kirk hadn't paid it much mind.
But this kid had actually pulled it off!
On TV, Dunn started his acceptance speech. Kirk's hearing wasn't what it used to be, and he wasn't in the mood for fluff—until a name snapped him to attention.
"I want to give a special shoutout to someone—Mr. Douglas. Yes, Mr. Kirk Douglas. He's a senior figure in film I deeply respect, and he gave me invaluable advice while I was working on A Beautiful Mind. I wouldn't be holding this award without him. It's a shame he couldn't be here tonight, but I want to use this Oscar stage to say, sincerely: Thank you, Mr. Douglas. Without you, I might not be up here today. Thank you!"
ABC's cameras stayed glued to Dunn's face, smartly avoiding random cuts to the audience.
Because right then, almost every guest in the room was gaping in shock.
Outsiders might not get it, but industry folks knew the score.
Dunn and Kirk Douglas were at each other's throats—irreconcilable!
Dunn's whole standoff with the Golden Globes? A big chunk of it traced back to Kirk!
Now, Dunn was up there accepting an Oscar, publicly "thanking" Kirk Douglas. What was this?
A taunt?
Two months ago, Dunn had grabbed a Golden Globe and ripped into the committee from the stage, sparking a media frenzy.
Two months later, he's at the Oscars, needling Kirk Douglas from the podium. This guy was unstoppable!
Thanking him?
Sure, to outsiders, Dunn's speech sounded like heartfelt gratitude.
But anyone in the know saw right through it.
Dunn was using this win to throw a jab at Kirk—smacking him down, loud and proud, with no mercy!
To Hollywood insiders, this acceptance speech was a carbon copy of his Golden Globes rant—same vibe, same playbook!
At home, Kirk Douglas sat stunned in front of his TV.
Eyes wide, locked on the screen, like he'd seen a ghost.
When Dunn raised his Oscar high and strutted off the stage, all swagger and triumph, Kirk snapped out of it. He coughed hard, hacked up a bloody glob, and spat it on the floor.
"That bastard!"
He roared, voice raw with fury.