The deep-dish pizza the size of a battlecruiser floated gently down into The Between.
It shimmered with divine grease. The toppings sang hymns only dogs could hear.
Zeke wiped a tear from his eye.
Zeke: "It's... beautiful."
Bitty: "Reminder: payment is still due."
Zeke: "Right, right. No dine-and-dash on cosmic deities."
...
Zeke pulled out his battered old payment chip.
You know, the kind you use to pay for sad vending machine coffee, not to satisfy a transdimensional pizza god.
Bitty: "Warning: your balance is $2.37."
Zeke: "That should cover, like, a pepperoni crumb."
Bitty: "You owe approximately 1,200,000 credits."
Zeke: "…Maybe they accept coupons?"
...
Zeke swiped anyway.
Instead of declining, the chip did something far, far worse.
It pinged the Bankers' Guild.
The Bankers' Guild wasn't your friendly local loan office.
They were a ruthless intergalactic syndicate.
Their motto: "Debt is Eternal. So Are We."
...
Within seconds, a dozen sleek, black ships tore open the sky.
Each was emblazoned with the Guild's grim logo: a snarling credit symbol over a broken world.
Guild Collector: "YOU HAVE ATTEMPTED AN UNAUTHORIZED TRANSACTION!"
Zeke: "I swear I just wanted to tip the pizza guy!"
Guild Collector: "YOU HAVE TRIGGERED DEBT-LEVEL: APOCALYPSE."
Zeke: "That sounds excessive!"
...
Bitty: "Zeke, their protocols are clear. Any debt above 1 million credits triggers… martial repossession."
Zeke: "Of what?! I live in a dumpster!"
Bitty: "Then they'll take your soul as collateral."
Zeke: "Joke's on them. Pretty sure mine's already overdue."
...
As laser cannons charged, Zeke panicked.
Zeke: "Bitty, think fast! How do we negotiate with galactic bankers?"
Bitty: "They respect only three things:
1. Bigger guns.
2. Bigger wallets.
3. Ridiculous amounts of bluffing."
Zeke: "I have none of those."
Bitty: "Bluff harder."
...
Zeke stood tall atop the pizza.
Zeke: "FOOLS! I am PIZZATHOTH'S HERALD! DEBTS? I PAY IN CHEESE AND HOLY BREAD! TREMBLE BEFORE ME!"
The Guild's lead collector paused.
Guild Collector: "…He's bluffing."
Another Collector: "Wait. That's the Herald of Appetite. We can't collect on a divine proxy."
Guild Collector: "Curse the bylaws…!"
...
In a swirl of muttered curses and paperwork, the Bankers' Guild retreated.
Zeke collapsed face-first into the pizza.
Zeke: "Victory tastes like marinara."
Bitty: "Reminder: you still technically owe 1,200,000 credits."
Zeke: "Reminder: I'm ignoring that."
...
Meanwhile, across the stars, thousands witnessed the event.
And the legend of Zeke—the Clueless Herald, the Pizza God's Chosen, the Bane of Bankers—grew ever larger.