Zeke jogged through the neon streets, desperate.
Zeke: "Bitty, I need to pee. Urgently."
Bitty: "Nearest public restroom is 14 miles away."
Zeke: "I'm not running a marathon with a full bladder, Bitty! Find me a shortcut!"
Bitty: "Recalculating… Found an 'open facility' nearby. Minimal foot traffic."
Zeke: "Perfect!"
...
The "open facility" turned out to be a dimly-lit alley with a suspiciously ornate door.
Zeke: "Well, when nature calls, you don't ask questions."
He yanked the heavy door open.
Inside: hooded figures chanting around a blood-red fountain.
Zeke: "...Okay, maybe some questions."
...
Cult Leader: "WELCOME, INITIATE."
Zeke: "Initiate? Buddy, I'm just looking for a—"
Cult Leader: "SILENCE. You have answered the Call of the Red Veil. By stepping through this sacred threshold, you have accepted our ancient contract."
Zeke: "Contract? Look, man, I really gotta—"
Cultist: "To accept is to swear fealty unto death."
Zeke: "Is there, like, a bathroom first?"
Cult Leader: "INITIATION FIRST. BATHROOM LATER."
...
Bitty buzzed urgently in Zeke's earpiece.
Bitty: "Zeke, you have just joined the Blood Needle Assassins."
Zeke: "Sounds metal. Also, problematic."
Bitty: "They are one of the deadliest guilds in the Neon Sprawl."
Zeke: "What do they want from me?"
Bitty: "Primarily? Murder. Lots and lots of murder."
Zeke: "Cool cool cool… tiny problem: I'm not super good at murdering people. I'm barely good at murdering pizza."
...
Cult Leader: "Take this sacred dagger, Initiate. Your first target awaits."
He handed Zeke a wicked, curved blade glowing faintly red.
Zeke clumsily accepted it like someone being handed a live ferret.
Cult Leader: "Slay the Mark of Betrayal!"
Zeke: (whispering) "Bitty… who's the Mark of Betrayal?"
Bitty: "…The janitor who forgot to restock the toilet paper."
Zeke: "Honestly, if I don't find a bathroom soon, I might betray someone too."
...
Thinking fast, Zeke pointed dramatically.
Zeke: "Behold! I shall bring forth the Great Betrayer!"
Everyone turned to look.
Using the distraction, Zeke shuffled sideways out the door, still holding the sacred dagger.
Bitty: "You are now an active assassin with a pending contract."
Zeke: "Correction: I'm a fugitive with a full bladder."
...
Minutes later, in a real public restroom, Zeke sighed in blissful relief.
Zeke: "Best five minutes of my life."
Bitty: "Reminder: You are now officially listed as a Blood Needle Assassin operative. Target pending."
Zeke: "Oh great. First pizza gods, now assassin guilds. Next thing you know, I'll accidentally marry into a crime family."
Bitty: "Statistically probable."
Zeke: "Don't you dare manifest that into existence."
...
Meanwhile, back at the Blood Needle compound:
Cult Leader: "Where did our new initiate go?"
Cultist #1: "He fled. Took the Sacred Blade of Eternal Silence."
Cultist #2: "That makes him… the Bladebearer."
Cult Leader: "Then prophecy is fulfilled. All hail the Bladebearer!"
Cultists: "ALL HAIL!"