"-leave me I'm going to die!" Screeched the Hitori girl.
"How dare you interrupt my flashback sequence! Wait no!" Two giant hands shot out at me. "No put me down! I can't run from predators if I'm not on the ground!" I was suddenly thrust into a warm bosom. Mmmmmm this is nice. . .but I'm still off the ground!
CHOMP!
The abomination shrieked as I flopped onto the bed. I leered up at the girl, who looked on the verge of tears, serves her right.
"Listen here. I am a Demon Lorrrdddd. Capital D, Capital L, and-"
"M-m-my bunny hates meeeee! Wahhhhh!"
"Quiet your ho mouth! I-" The karma meter appeared beside me. It's needle slowly but steadily heading DOWN. Gah! What do I do now? I remembered miss tail bangs snobby voice.
"-You could try being a sweet innocent bunny. . . or just kill yourself. Either works for me." That's it, the innocent bunny act. Hmmmm I'm not sure I remember her saying that last part. . .
The human sprinkler continued her deafening wail. I was starting to believe I was right labeling her a banshee. This thing can't be human! The meter seemed to tick down faster. Am I really gonna have to show this thing kindness? Ugh, I'm going to be sick.
I jumped off the bed and nuzzled her leg. She was startled at first, but she stopped crying and looked down at me. I gave her my best puppy dog look, or is it bunny dog? Puppy bun? Whatever you get it.
"Awww how sweet. My bunny really does love me. I'm so happppyyyy! Wahhhhhhh!"
"Huh?! What the heck is it now!" The karma meter ticked a little and then vanished. "I make her cry and it goes down, then I make her cry again and it goes up? None of this makes sense!" I also noticed that humiliating action only got me five points. This is going to take forever!
All this wailing made me quickly realize that bunny, super hearing is in fact a cruel curse. Mercifully Hitori stopped crying on her own this time. After a few more sniffles she spoke again.
"I'm sorry I grabbed you so soon. It must have been scary. They say bunnies should be allowed to acclimate to a new home before you handle them." Okay, looks like she's finally being reasona- "So lets get you acclimated right now!" Those seemingly massive hands shot out at me once more, and again I was hoisted into the air.
"Thine blood hast not yet dried upon thine boobie and yet thou doth lay hands upon me again!?" Hitori whisked me out of the room into some sort of entryway.
"This is the front door, and these are my shoes, don't chew on them or you'll be a bad bun!"
"Why would I eat shoes!" She hopped a little further down the halls, stopping near a door.
"This is the bathroom, and this is my parents!"
"That was an abrupt transition." Hitori held me up to a family portrait that hung above a shelf adorned with decorative candles. Staring at me was a pale man wearing a massive grin filled with horrid teeth. "You really should have gotten corrective teeth torture bro. I know all the kids would have made fun of you, but like, damn." The man had his arm around what I presumed was Hitori's mom, but all I could see was a black smudge. "Her mom is an ink blot?"
Hitori skipped down the hall.
"This is the dinner table. This is the fridge; it makes ice. Boop." Hitori rammed my paw into some sort of button. The metallic object screamed and shot ice all over the floor.
"Hmm a device that uses ice magic, that's gen- ahhhh!" Hitori started whipping me around the room.
"Stove, microwave, blender, and finally coffee maker." She started jumping up and down. "Mom doesn't let me drink coffee, says it makes me hyper, I don't get what she's talking about, coffee's great!"
"Hello! Shaking bunny syndrome!" Hitori suddenly stopped, and threw open a drawer. She held me up to a dead bug lying by some plates.
"This is Seymour. He's my friend." She suddenly grew very serious, she pulled me close, and whispered in my ear. "He tells me secrets."
"Emm, what?"
"Moving on!" She held me in front of a glass door. "This is the backyard! There's a fence so you'll be able to frolic and play in safety!"
"Lord Mozu does not 'Frolic!'" She wiped around causing my bunny butt to violently careen.
"This is the TV, It has 2000 channels! This is the coffee table, which I keep stocked with mom's favorite magazines, so maybe she'll come home. This is the couch where we'll cuddle after a long school day. This is the love seat where I'll have my first make out session as you stare in puzzlement. This is the ottoman where you'll sit and watch the bunny channel as I lovingly look on from the kitchen, until my dashing husband, who has an amazing job, comes home, and looks into my eyes, and says, 'this is the day where our family of two plus bun shall become a family of three plus bun."
"Those fantasies are, em, quite developed."
Suddenly, but not surprisingly, Hitori bounded off, and again I experienced G-forces my bunny body's clearly not rated for. She stopped at a door near her bedroom.
"This is my parents bedroom! It's super cool! They have their own luxury bath! Of course they don't ever use it, since they're never home." She pulled me in close and began to whisper. "I'm not supposed to be in there, but. . ." She nervously looked around as though she actually expected someone might be eavesdropping. "Sometimes I go into mom's 'special' drawer. Don't, tell, mother."
"S-s-special drawer!" My hoes also have special drawers, each containing the official 'How to Please Lord Mozu' manual, among other. . .things. My hoes need their alone time too after all.
I scarcely had time to contemplate this revelation, before she rocketed off, and dumped me back on her still smoldering bed.
"That's the whole house. Now that you're acclimated it should be okay to handle you."
"If you touch me I'll end you."
"Let the handling commence!" Those cursed hands shot out like striking vipers, and she began to feverishly fondle me.
"Hells below what did I just say!" I was used to having droves of women run their hands all over me, but this wasn't pleasant at all. She ruffled my fur, tugged my ears, and pinched my cheeks.
"You're so fluffy I'm gonna die!"
"Oh you don't know how right you are!" Hitori paused and pulled out some sort of rectangular object.
"I can't wait to show you to my bunny group. Say cheese!"
CLICK! A blinding flash engulfed me.
"Ahhhh! My eyes! That's it you're dead! De-"
CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The relentless strobe show continued as I endured the groping of a generation. Hitori shoved the lightning box into my schnoz; I shoved it right back. "Get that thing out of my face!"
"Awwwww you're trying to play with my phone? It must be because it looks like a bunny. Meet Cell-Bun. Isn't he cute?" She held it up, and I beheld that, what I thought was a magical device, was in fact a bunny-like creature. Although I wouldn't describe it as cute. It wore a vaguely menacing smile as it stared with its black soulless eyes.
It appears she has her own minions; I misjudged her power.
"Now let's get a close up of that adorable eyeball."
CLICK
"AAAAHHHHHHH! I will destroy your first born! The moment it slithers out of your wretched body I'll be there with a freaking mallet! Congratulations, it's a boy! WHAM! Now it's paste!"
"Ha ha. You're always squeaking. It almost sounds like you're yelling unspeakably gruesome threats, who knew I'd get such a talkative bunny!"
"What do you mean 'squeaking?'. This is the official Demon Lord kneel before me voice!" Although now that she mentioned it I had been hearing a high pitched squeaking sound since I got here. . . wait a minute. I yelled a few more threats, but all I heard was squeaking. "What the hell, I can't talk!"
"Oh now your squeaks sorta sound like a stunned realization."
"What the hell! Unholy shit! If I can't talk I can't activate runes!"
"Now you sound like you're having a panic attack."
This is bad. Runes were my back up plan, since I can't use Advanced Force, but If I can't chant I can't channel the magic it takes to activate the runes.
"Curse you Jezerbel you scoundrel!"
"Now it sorta sounds like a bitter shout of indignation. Oh I love my squeaky bun!" With that exclamation the grope n' strobe storm began anew with a vengeance.