"This is the best day of my life and nothing is going to ruin it!"
Rinnnngggggg Rinnnggggggg Rinnnnnggggg
Hitori turned to the sound coming from the kitchen. All color drained from her face.
"Oh no. . ." The ringing continued unabated. I could feel a palpable tension in the air. The room almost seemed darker. "It's my mom! She's found out I have a bunny! Quick hide!"
Hitori dropped a pillow on me, which engulfed my whole body. Apparently I was now safe from Hitori's mother, but unfortunately I was also being kept safe from oxygen. I struggled to escape the fluffy pillow of doom.
"Stay there, don't make a sound!" Hitori ran out of the room just as I finally poked my head from under the pillow. So that's what being smothered feels like. That was pretty brutal. I need to smother my enemies more often.
Out in the kitchen I could hear Hitori pick up the screaming magical device, and the ominous ringing finally ceased.
"H-h-h-ello mother how's wo- no there's no bunny here, why you ask. . .no I haven't noticed any dimensional disturbances. . .no I promise there's no bun- wait! No please! Okay there's a bunny here I'm sorry I lied. . .mother no! Please, he's my best friend! Please let me keep him. . . wait really? I can keep him! Thank yo- wait, what do you mean an equal sacrifice must be made?! . . .Wait no! No mom no! Not that! Please turn away your wrath! Noooooooooo!"
Hitori somberly made her way into the room and collapsed on the bed near me. "Mom says no curry for a month." She mumbled, before deflating. She lived there stone still for the space of several minutes. I wiggled out from under the pillow.
Is she. . .dead? I had never heard of someone dying from being chewed out by their mom before, so I doubted I was that lucky, but I had to be sure. I softly taped Hitori with my paw.
+10 Karma
Hitori lifted her face. There was tears in her eyes, but she was beaming
"Awww my bunny's concerned for me."
"Actually I was just confirming if you were dead so I could desecrate your corpse!"
"Awww thanks for the squeaks of encouragement."
"The only thing I'd encourage you to do is suicide!"
Hitori grabbed me and pressed me into her bosom. My squeaks of protest fell on deaf ears.
"Oh I'm so happy! Mother said I could keep you! Something about the hands of fate. I paid a heavy price, but it was worth it. I finally have a bunny friend!"
+50 Karma
Hitori set me down on the bed, and sat up. I stared up at her with rage filled eyes, which of course she didn't notice. Acknowledge my rage!
"Now that you're officially a member of this house it's time to name you."
"Foolish mortal! I already have a name! It's Lord Mozufu-ahhhhhh!" Hitori started feverishly rubbing my bunny noggin.
"Awww you're so fluffy maybe I'll name you Mr. Fuffles!" I turned my head away.
"No!"
"Hmmm you don't seem to like that one. How about something more regal like Sir Hoppyton!"
"It's not 'sir' it's 'LORD' you fool!" I turned further away.
"Hmmm you sure like to squeak a lot, how about Senior Squeakle?" I turned away fully and turned my nose up in disgust.
"NO! That's a stupid name! You insolent drooling child!" I heard her let out a soft gasp. Ha! Finally one of my insults landed.
"Whoa, you have a star on your butt!"
Wait what? I turned to look at my rear end. I could make out what looked like a triangle with a curved line passing around the tip.
"It's my Demon Gate! I still have it!" I began to hop for joy. The demon gate was an eldritch rune given to me by the gods. If it still worked in this form I'd be able to break the curse.
"You seem very proud of that star on your butt. That settles it! I'm gonna name you. . .Star Butt!"
"What! No! That can't be my name! It's the stupidest one so far!" Hitori grabbed me and pressed me against her cheek.
"Oh I love you! You're my lil' baby bunny Start Butt!"
"No! Lord Mozu is not a baby! And I can't be 'Star Butt' it's demeaning! My name is Lord Mozufu-
Attention: Karma monitoring of subject "Mozufu-long-ass-name has been changed to subject 'Lil' Baby Bunny Star Butt™.' +10 Karma
"Curse you Jezerbel!"
Hitori placed me back on the bed. She got to her feet and did a dumb little twirl.
"You're gonna have so much fun here Start Butt!"
Hitori pointed at a corner of the room that was literally empty. "You got your bunny jungle gym right there." Again Hitori pointed at an area of floor that was bare. "Over there I got a pile of toys to excite and enrich your bunny brain!" She pointed at a stretch of wall that contained nothing but boy toy posters. "And here is your spacious cage where you'll wait in anticipation for me to come home from school."
"Huh?" Hitori blinked a few times. It appeared she was starting to realize she'd been indicating objects which don't exist. She put her hands on her head and let out a wail.
"Oh my word I don't have any bunny supplies!" She began frantically running around the room. "I got to go to the pet store! Where's my wallet!" She gathered some items and ran to the door. "I got to go get some things. You stay right there, and don't chew on anything!"
"Why do you keep saying that! Why would I chew on random household items not even devourer demons do that!"
Hitori ran out the front door. I looked out the window, and watched her sprint down the street. Hopefully she gets eaten by a *Dread Spider or something.
*Dread Spiders are demon spiders that shoot webs made from dead people. To find out more see the "Big Book of Demons N' Shit" Chapter 2 Section 7 Subsection 6