I sat in the silence of my chambers, staring out the window, lost in thought. The weight of Kol's words still lingered in my mind. I knew he had a point, and the thought of becoming something like the Supreme Leader—the very thing I despised—made me sick to my stomach. But there was another thought that haunted me, a gnawing question I couldn't escape.
Would Nine choose me, if he had the choice?
It was a question I had asked myself a hundred times, but every time the answer felt like it was just out of reach. Would he? Would he really choose me over everything else? Over the conditioning, over the years of abuse, and over the quiet, desperate pleas for someone to choose him—someone who would see him as more than a tool?
He had been forced to obey for so long, and now, I had him in my care. He was free to choose, but what if, deep down, he didn't want to? What if this bond—what if I—wasn't enough to heal the damage done to him?
What if he's just with me because there's no one else?
I tried to shake off the thought, but it stuck with me. I had seen it in his eyes, those moments when I wasn't looking, when he thought I didn't notice. The uncertainty, the way he seemed to shrink under the weight of the past. He was still so fragile, still so broken.
And then there was the bond. He had to feel it, I thought. The way it hummed between us, the way it pulled him close to me, whether he wanted to or not. But was it just the bond? Was it just the physical connection, the way we were tethered together, that kept him here? Did he even truly want to stay?
I didn't want to ask him—was he choosing me, or was he just following the bond?—because I feared the answer. I feared that, deep down, Nine might not be capable of choosing for himself anymore. He had been shaped by too many years of forced obedience. Was that all he knew?
A part of me wished I could just let it go. I wished I could be certain. But doubts crept in, each one louder than the last.
Suddenly, I felt the familiar pressure in my chest, the tightness that came whenever Nyx rose to the surface. Her presence was a low hum in the back of my mind, but now it surged forward, demanding my attention.
Don't you dare think like that, she growled, her voice harsh and protective. Don't you dare doubt him.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to center myself. I could feel her tension, her fierce protectiveness for Nine. I hadn't realized how much she cared for him until now. She had been quiet for so long, content to let me handle things, but now... now, she was furious, her emotions bleeding through the bond like a tidal wave.
What if he's just with me because he has no choice? I thought, the question slipping out before I could stop myself.
Nyx growled, her response immediate and fierce. He would choose you, Rhea. Don't you dare think otherwise.
I flinched at the force of her words, a pang of guilt twisting in my gut. But what if...
No! Nyx snarled. Stop it. He would choose you, even if the bond weren't there. You're the only one who sees him, who truly sees him, and he knows that. He trusts you, and he loves you. Don't doubt that.
I could feel her frustration rippling through me, sharp and powerful. It was like a storm building within her, and she was ready to unleash it on anyone who dared to challenge that truth. I knew she was protective of Nine, but I hadn't realized just how deeply her bond with him ran. She was more than just a part of me—she was his too.
But the more Nyx spoke, the more I realized something else. My doubts weren't just about Nine—they were about me.
I'm scared, I admitted to her, my voice barely a whisper in my mind. What if I'm not enough? What if I hurt him without even realizing it? What if...
Stop. Nyx's voice softened, though it still held that raw edge of emotion. You're enough, Rhea. You always have been.
Her words lingered, filling the empty space around me. She was right. I had always been enough for him. I had chosen him, and I would never stop choosing him. But that didn't mean the fear didn't still linger, didn't mean that the doubts wouldn't keep gnawing at me. It wasn't just about Nine anymore—it was about me, too. About whether I could protect him, keep him safe from everything that had happened to him.
Nyx's presence softened again, as though she sensed my internal struggle. You need to stop doubting yourself, she murmured. You're stronger than that. You've always been strong.
I didn't respond immediately, my mind still racing through the thousands of thoughts I couldn't shake. I kept coming back to the same question, the one I was afraid to ask aloud: Would Nine truly choose me?
Nyx was silent for a moment, as though contemplating the question herself. Then, with a surprising calmness, she spoke again. He already has.
I closed my eyes, letting her words sink in. He chose me.
It wasn't the answer I had been looking for, but maybe it was the answer I needed to hear. Nine had chosen me. And maybe that was enough—for now.
I exhaled, my mind finally clearing, the weight of my fears starting to lift. I would stop doubting. I would stop second-guessing. I would trust Nine, trust that he had made the choice that felt right to him, just as I had chosen him.
For the first time in a long while, I felt a sense of peace settle over me. Nyx was right. He had chosen me—and I had chosen him.
And that was all that mattered.