Okay. So.
After throwing what could only be described as a culinary fiesta-slash-welcome party-slash-casual-fire-hazard for the official induction of the Goddess (aka Nilou) into our chaos crew... it was finally time to do what I do best:
Absolutely nothing.
In my bed.
For eight straight hours.
Unconscious.
Sweet. Merciful. Sleep.
Or so I thought.
Plot twist: Brain said no. Body said "nap time." Brain said, "Actually, let's replay every embarrassing moment since birth."
Because apparently, my mental health has a built-in Regret Playlist (Nightcore Version) that starts exactly 0.2 seconds after my head hits the pillow.
And guess what?
Tonight's featured rerun? That glorious moment in Chapter 35 where I tried to square up with Aether.
Yes. That one.
The one where I got folded so hard I achieved origami enlightenment.
I became a paper crane of disappointment.
So there I was.
Not sleeping.
Instead, sitting on a bench outside the mansion, under a suspiciously realistic tree, inside a realm that exists inside a teapot.
Because logic? Never met her.
The artificial wind blew. Leaves rustled gently. The stars above twinkled like they had something to prove.
I even saw one shooting star and made a wish that my brain would shut up. It didn't work.
Greg was probably curled up somewhere nearby, watching me like, "There goes our emotionally unstable human again."
Then— Soft footsteps.
I turned my head.
Nilou.
Walking toward me like the moon got tired of the sky and decided to grace me with its soft-glowing beauty in human form. If I wasn't already sleepless, now I was full-on wide awake.
She sat beside me with that peaceful energy that made the rest of the world feel too loud.
She smiled.
"Waddup, Goddess?" I said, activating maximum cool-idiot energy.
She chuckled—soft, musical, like tiny bells made of sunlight. "You always call me that... Why? I'm not a Goddess. That title belongs to the Archons."
I flashed her the Shigeru patented signature grin. The one that says 'I regret many things but not this one.'
"Your dance is divine," I shrugged. "You deserve the title."
She shook her head, cheeks going slightly pink. "Just call me Nilou."
"Bummer," I muttered. "But... alright. Nilou it is. Even if that sounds way less mythological but 100x cuter."
We sat in comfortable silence.
Meanwhile, inside my brain? Still spiraling.
Like, wow. She really said "just call me Nilou" and now I have to act like I didn't just mentally rank her above the Archons.
She tilted her head, voice gentle. "What are you doing out here?"
I exhaled loudly—big sigh, Oscar-worthy. "Rethinking my life choices."
She smiled knowingly. "That must be a long list."
"Okay, rude," I said, clutching my imaginary pearls. "I'll have you know I've only made like... seventeen bad decisions this week."
She raised an eyebrow. "Just this week?"
I nodded solemnly. "Yeah. Pretty low for my standards, honestly. I think I'm maturing."
She laughed. "You're impossible."
"No no," I said, wiggling my finger like an idiot sage. "I'm emotionally evolving. Like a Pokémon, but with more trauma."
Then she turned her gaze to the sky, her voice softer.
"Still, truly… thank you. For accepting me as a companion."
That caught me off guard.
I blinked.
Tilted my head like a confused golden retriever.
You know. Classic idiot pose.
"Now that you mention it... why did you want to join us anyway?"
Nilou's smile deepened, her eyes reflecting the stars above. Her voice carried something deeper—something earnest.
"I've always dreamed of seeing the world—not just the sights, but the soul of it. The wonders, the people, the places that stories are made of. I want to dance through fields I've never seen, taste the air of distant skies… and share every heartbeat of it with you. Every step, every smile, every tear—we'll write our own story. Together."
…
Self-reboot initiated.
System status: Fried.
Fist to chest. SLAM.
"Alright. Self-reboot successful."
"…Why did you slam your fist to your chest like that?" she asked, genuine concern laced in her tone.
I glanced at her, her expression soft but questioning.
Crap. She wasn't just curious—she was worried. She saw through it.
I let out a shaky breath, and pulled on the ol' reliable: The Grin.
"Dramatic effect," I said, shrugging like a seasoned liar. "Gotta keep the cool factor up, right?"
Then I turned to her seriously.
"Seriously—you didn't hit your head earlier, did you?"
Nilou laughed, confused. "You're so silly."
But I wasn't kidding. That was a real diagnostics check.
Inside my brain: She's either as chaotic as the rest of us… or the one that's gonna keep us from exploding. Either way… I was in danger.
She looked up at the sky again. "The sky here is beautiful. It feels so real."
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
She activated it.
My Lore Dump Protocol.
I turned slowly. "You're not ready for this, Nilou."
She blinked. "For what?"
I cracked my knuckles like some conspiracy theorist with a YouTube channel called Teyvat Truthers Anonymous.
"The sky… is fake."
She blinked again. "…What."
I leaned in. I was already too far gone.
"You see, there's this theory—originally from a guy with a Dendro vision and three followers—that says Teyvat's sky is actually an artificial projection created by Celestia to keep us from perceiving the real universe beyond."
She tilted her head. "...Huh?"
"EXACTLY," I nodded furiously. "Because if we could see the truth, we'd lose our minds. There's also this thing with the moon, and the stars possibly being connected to Ley Lines, and—wait—have I told you about the forbidden scroll I found wedged between Albedo's bookshelf and a rock?"
I was throwing Natlan leaks, Snezhnaya drama, Liyue urban legends, secret Fontaine plot holes, even a paragraph from a fanfiction I once read on accident thinking it was a prophecy.
Nilou just nodded politely, eyes slowly glazing over. She was trying so hard.
Bless her innocent heart.
Then—
Mid-sentence.
Her head gently dropped against my shoulder.
Boom. KO.
Shigeru's Lore Dump wins via boredom.
I blinked.
Looked at her.
She was already asleep.
Peaceful. Unbothered. Dreaming of anything except the mental gym I just dragged her through.
I smiled.
Softly brushed her hair away from her face.
"Welcome, Goddess," I whispered. "Hope you'll have fun on this journey."
Then I looked up at the fake sky, saluted my chest with a fist again.
"Reboot successful. Damn. I almost collapsed."
***
I awoke to the distinct feeling of softness.
Not the softness of a pillow. Not even the fluffiness of Paimon's hair (which, yes, I tested once—don't ask, it was a weird Tuesday).
No. This was lap soft.
My face was nestled on something warm, gentle, and vaguely divine.
"Am I in heaven again?" I murmured, blinking against the sunlight filtering through the leaves.
"Get up," Lumine deadpanned above me, "my lap is going numb."
Ah.
Reality check initiated.
I pouted. "Hell nah. This is heaven. I'm not getting up. Ever."
She raised her hand slowly.
Every atom in my body screamed.
My danger sensors lit up like a Pyro Slime in water.
I was on my feet before she even moved a muscle. "I'm up! I'm up! No need to resort to violence!"
Nilou chuckled from nearby like an angel who just witnessed a toddler trip over his own shoelaces. Paimon sighed into her hands. Greg, standing silently in the shade, judged me with every inch of his being.
He didn't say anything. He didn't need to.
Greg's silence was a thousand screaming lectures packed into one look.
"Alright, gang!" I clapped my hands together like a man about to jump into a pool of poor decisions. "Time to march into that doomed desert full of sand, sorrow, and regrets!"
Everyone blinked at me.
"…What?" Paimon said.
"I call dibs on the next hallucination caused by heatstroke!" I added cheerfully.
"No you don't," Lumine muttered.
Nilou just giggled. "He's always like this in the mornings, huh?"
"Unfortunately," said Greg. Probably. He did this weird tongue flick again.
So we packed up, stepped out of the safety of the Teapot Realm, and began our march into the unforgiving sunburn simulator known as the desert.
And let me tell you—traveling in Sumeru heat? That's not exploration. That's survival horror with extra dehydration.
A few hours later, after surviving:
A sudden vine attack (Paimon vs. Wild, 0-1)
A mysterious plant that looked edible (it was not—my stomach is still filing complaints)
And one GIANT scorpion incident that we don't talk about,
—we arrived at the gates of Caravan Ribat.
The place was bustling. Merchants shouting, mercs patrolling, camels doing camel things.
Paimon floated excitedly. "We finally made it! It's pretty lively here!"
She turned toward the massive wall ahead of us.
"So just past this wall is the desert, huh... Oh wow, Paimon remembers hearing people call this the Wall of Samiel. It's supposed to block sandstorms from getting through. If it's this tall, then it must be the divine work of Greater Lord Rukkhadevata, right?"
Lumine nodded thoughtfully. "It is impressive."
"Honestly, if I had a mora for every divine structure taller than my dreams, I'd still be broke because I keep spending it on grilled tigerfish," I said.
Greg flicked his tongue at me. Judging. Again.
Then a voice interrupted us.
"Enough gawking. Come on."
We turned.
Lumine blinked. "Alhaitham!?"
There he was. Casual as ever. Leaning against a wall like he hadn't just ghosted us for several chapters.
"Over here," he said simply, already walking away.
Paimon stuttered. "Huh? Hey! Wait up!"
We followed.
Cue suspicious mercs grumbling in the background:
"What the? Where did they go!?"
"Ugh, how did we lose 'em? They were just here a second ago..."
Paimon huffed. "Again? Seriously, who keeps sending these guys?!"
Alhaitham, completely unbothered, muttered, "You were too careless. Should've noticed those amateurs tailing you long ago."
Lumine crossed her arms. "Thanks, Alhaitham. We wouldn't have shaken them without you."
"Don't thank me. I wasn't trying to help. I just have a habit of correcting mistakes when I see them. Akademiya conditioning."
Paimon squinted at him. "You really like making everything sound like a math problem."
"And you like ignoring subtlety."
I cleared my throat. "Sooo... this is awkward, but... did you just come out here to humble us, or...?"
Alhaitham raised an eyebrow. "Still sarcastic. That hasn't changed."
"Like fine wine, baby. Only gets worse with age."
He turned his gaze slightly, noticing Nilou.
Pause.
Genuine surprise.
"Nilou? You're traveling with them now?"
She smiled sweetly. "Mhm! I wanted to see the world. Besides, someone needs to keep this one from walking off cliffs."
She pointed at me.
"Wow, rude," I muttered. "True, but rude."
Greg nodded solemnly in agreement.
Paimon floated closer to Alhaitham. "Wait, didn't you say you were going back to the Akademiya? Why are you out here now? Don't tell us you're dragging us back!"
Alhaitham smirked. "Oh? Already enemies of the state? I expected it, but not this fast."
"Hey, we're not enemies! We're... chaotic neutrals!"
"If I wanted to turn you in, the Eremites would've done it by now."
"...Oh. Right. Good point."
Lumine's expression darkened slightly. "Did you participate in the sages' project?"
"No. I'm still investigating the Divine Knowledge Capsule. The trail leads back to the desert, and unfortunately... you're part of that trail."
He turned to Lumine.
"Back in Port Ormos... when you saw the leader of Ayn Al-Ahmar use the capsule, you hesitated. You were shaken. You realized something. Care to share?"
Lumine whispered to me. "It was hearing those words again... 'World, forget me.'"
Alhaitham caught the tension. "No? Can't blame you. Caution is wise. But that confirms you know more than you're letting on."
"We know many things," I said cryptically, before ruining it with, "Mostly useless trivia, but still."
"Then you're headed to the desert as well?"
Paimon nodded. "Yup! But we don't have solid plans yet."
"Start with Aaru Village. Biggest settlement. More intel."
Lumine agreed. "Let's go together."
"Fine by me."
"Group trip!" I declared.
We set off.
Six strong. One direction: the endless sands.
I threw my arms out like some budget prophet. "Aight! Time to go where the lore begins! And possibly get jumped by a mini Mahamatra with an Anubis aesthetic!"
Everyone stared at me.
Even Greg looked concerned.
Alhaitham opened his mouth.
Lumine put a hand on his shoulder.
Lumine groaned. "Don't. Just... don't ask. We stopped asking a long time ago."
He paused. Then sighed. "Understood."
And off we went.
The sun above. The sand beneath. The future ahead.
And me?
Still 100% sure I was not emotionally ready for any of it.
But that's never stopped me before.
So, naturally, I grinned.
"Adventure… begins now, baby."
_________________
End of Chapter 112
Quests Completed:
*Officially induct Nilou into the party via an overly dramatic welcome celebration involving food, fire, and confusion.
*Experience a full-blown midnight regret spiral under a fake tree in a fake world.
*Lore dump on unsuspecting Nilou until she falls asleep.
* Ask Nilou why she chose to travel with the squad, and also if she has enough chaos in her.
*Ask Nilou if she hit her head after she says something way too sweet and heartfelt.
*Begin the journey into the Sumeru desert with Alhaitham, Nilou, Greg, Lumine, and Paimon.
* Endure being roasted by the Scribe without losing composure.
Rewards:
*+1 Shigeru Lore Dump Level Up
*+5 Nilou Affection Points
*+1 Alhaitham Party Member Bonus: Temporarily Unlocked Passive: Passive Smugness Aura
*+1 Greg's Respect (Reluctant)
*+3 Group Chaos Multiplier
*+1 Lore Flag Triggered
Achievement Unlocked:
"Main Character Syndrome (Stage 3)"
-You dramatically slammed your fist into your chest with no explanation, mid-tears, beside the so called Goddess… and somehow got praised for it. You absolute anime protagonist.