Have you ever been in a room so quiet, so silent, that you start hearing your own organs? Like, "Oh hey, that's probably my pancreas gurgling." Because that's where I was. Trapped in a room with six other people, one floaty food critic, and one emotionally unavailable lizard.
The awkwardness? PALPABLE.
The silence? DEADLY.
The tension? Could slice a paimon cake.
Everyone just stood around like we were in some highly uncomfortable family reunion where no one knew who brought the potato salad.
Cyno... Alhaitham... Dehya... they were locked in a three-way silent showdown like someone forgot to unpause the cutscene. Their auras were clashing in quiet, smoldering fury.
Me? I was vibrating.
Three minutes of no talking.
That's it. That's all it took. I was already halfway to seizure-level energy overload. Greg, who was perched atop my head like the world's most judgmental accessory, thwacked my forehead with his tail every time I tried to say something. That did NOT help.
Paimon whispered to herself with a long, drawn-out sigh.
"Well, this is pretty awkward... Hey, wanna play sardines with three people who wanna tear each other limb from limb? Sure, why not, sounds fun..."
I turned to Lumine, who had taken up a corner like she was trying to phase into the wall and disappear.
"Hey," I whispered. "This is what prison feels like, right? Like silent. Cramped. And extremely punchable vibes?"
She didn't answer. Just side-eyed me with the same look she gave me when I tried to cook meat with Pyro slimes. Fair.
Paimon floated lower. "Ah... The air's so thick and heavy, Paimon can hardly keep floating anymore..."
Suddenly, the door creaked open.
A voice—gentle, firm, blessed like a cool wet towel on a fevered brow—entered the room.
"My sincere apologies, everyone. This is the home of our village chief. I will have to ask you to make do with this small room until the sandstorm dies down."
I saw her, and it was like the storm paused in respect.
Candace.
Candace in all her Hydro shield glory. Dark blue hair, regal armor, that golden eye patch like a fashion flex. She walked like she could flip us all in one move and then offer us tea afterward.
She smiled softly. "Please let me introduce myself. I am Candace, protector of Aaru Village."
I elbowed Lumine. "Hydro Mommy. I told you. She's Yelan-tier. YELAN-TIER, Lumine."
She elbowed me back. In the ribs. Hard.
Greg snorted.
Fair.
Paimon zipped forward like she just got bonus stamina. "Ah, our savior has come at last! Nice to meet you, Candace! The name's Paimon! Thank you so much for helping us!"
Candace chuckled. "Hehe, there's no need to thank me. It's only right to help each other when the weather gets rough."
Paimon tilted her head. "Wow... she's so gentle and caring, like a nice older sister! ...Unlike those guys over there."
"More like a Mommy," I whispered in the distance.
Lumine's glare intensified.
Candace turned business-mode faster than a Mondstadt bar tab. "Alright, now that we're all better acquainted, we should return to the topic at hand."
Oh. Right. The murder glares.
Candace continued. "As a guardian charged with the responsibility to protect my fellow villagers from harm, I was observing your conflict from afar, even before the sandstorm started. And now that you have set foot within Aaru Village itself, it is all the more my responsibility to make absolutely sure that you pose no threat whatsoever to us."
Everyone sat straighter.
"So please, have an honest and sincere conversation with one another, and put your hostile feelings to rest. If anyone dares to start anything again while they are under this roof... I will not hesitate to send them out for some quality time with the creatures of the sandstorm."
I raised a finger. "Uh, Candace, question. Are we talking, like, big scorpions or little ones? Because I think one of them tried to propose to me earlier."
Candace blinked. Dehya facepalmed. Paimon physically drifted away from me.
"That goes for you too, Miss Dehya," Candace added.
Dehya sighed. "Alright, we got it, Candace."
Candace nodded, arms crossed, unmovable as ever. "That's what I like to hear. So, which of you will begin?"
Dehya crossed her arms too. "I was supposed to be a mediator, but uh... I might've gotten a little too involved just now. Anyway, one of those two should probably start talking."
Paimon poked Dehya with a spoon. "Wait, that was you trying to be a mediator?!"
Cyno stepped forward. The temperature in the room dropped to "intense monologue incoming."
"I have nothing to hide," he began, straight-faced. "So there is no shame in explaining myself."
Oh boy. Here we go. Cue dramatic background music. Greg struck a pose on my head.
I leaned toward Nilou and whispered, "Do you think he rehearses these in the mirror? Like, full script, dramatic pauses and all?"
Nilou smiled and whispered back, "I think he writes them down in a little notebook."
Bless her.
I leaned forward.
Story time.
Cyno's whole confession was like a legal thriller with academic betrayal, missing data, and the Grand Sage being a complete tool. He was dropping bombs like:
"I've chosen to exile myself."
"The Grand Sage rejected my audit request."
"They were cautious of me from the beginning."
I watched Greg's eyes slowly narrow as if even he was starting to piece together a conspiracy wall in his lizard brain.
By the end, Cyno's voice was stone cold. "Once I find the truth, I will administer judgment by my own name."
I nodded sagely. "That's metal."
Lumine squinted slightly, leaning toward me. "It's still too early to trust him completely... What if that whole story was just made up?"
I considered that.
"Well," I said, "he hasn't made any puns yet, so he's probably serious."
Alhaitham then got his turn on the soapbox. Long story short, he admitted he was told to spy on us, but that he ditched the assignment because the whole thing smelled like a fish market on fire.
"There is such a thing as curiosity being dangerous," he added.
Greg nodded gravely, then sneezed. A little puff of sand floated into the air like fairy dust.
After a bit more back-and-forth that was way too emotionally charged for my squishy heart, Cyno gave a reluctant nod. "...Fine. Although you haven't completely proven your innocence, I won't regard you as an enemy for now."
Candace beamed. "Good. I'm glad to see you two clearing up your misunderstandings."
Then she turned to Dehya. "And now you, Dehya. I believe it's your turn."
Dehya blinked. "Oh, sorry. Whatever the boys were talking about must've been so boring that I spaced out."
I snorted again. She gave her version of the story, which mostly involved protecting Dunyarzad, being ticked off by bickering, and punching people in the sand.
Candace gave her a pass. "Welcome back, Dehya!"
"That's more like it!" Dehya grinned. "I missed you all so much, Candace..."
Then a growl echoed from outside.
Paimon flipped out. "Whoa! What was that sound?!"
Candace was already grabbing her spear like it was just a Sunday stroll. "No need to worry. I'll take a quick trip outside to clear out some of those creatures in the sandstorm."
"That's probably the same scorpion from earlier," I said with a shiver. "He's back for revenge. Or maybe my snacks."
Paimon flailed. "Are you sure you don't want backup?!"
Candace just smiled and walked out like a boss.
Dehya chuckled. "Don't worry. She's as tough as they come."
And so we were alone again.
Still. Awkward. Still calculating each other like this was some kind of math quiz bee.
I slumped in the corner.
"Fighting the sandstorm is probably more fun than this," I muttered. "Deadly... but fun."
Greg smacked me with his tail.
Fair.
***
Ah yes. Sweet, sweet silence.
The sandstorm had finally given up its desert-themed beatdown. I don't know who bribed it to chill, but thank Barbatos, because if I had to inhale one more cubic inch of sand, I was gonna start pooping pyramids.
Paimon peeked out the window and gasped like she'd just seen her dinner price double.
"The winds died down... That means the sandstorm's over, right?" she blinked. "Candace still isn't back yet, though. Is she alright? Maybe we should go out and check on her."
Dehya cracked her neck like she'd been waiting to punch something all day. "When you put it that way, even I'm starting to feel a little worried... Alright, let's go. We've been here long enough, and the boys are as chatty as the floor."
I jumped to my feet and pointed dramatically at the door like a man who had just remembered how legs work.
"Time to chaos some minor inconvenience!"
Lumine raised a brow, arms crossed.
"Minor?"
I paused. Rubbed my chin. Thought deeply, which was rare and dangerous.
"...Yeah, not our style."
She raised her hand to smack me, but Nilou—precious, gentle Nilou—gently intercepted her like a radiant buffer of love.
"There, there," Nilou whispered sweetly. "Let's not commit violence indoors. Save it for the Rifthounds."
Lumine rolled her eyes. "He deserves at least one light bonk."
I shot Nilou a wink. "You're my favorite patch note."
Greg dramatically flailed on my head.
Fair.
We stepped outside and WHAM—visual overload. There she was, still out there, like some sort of divine, blue-shielded juggernaut. Candace. In the flesh. Covered in battle dust and more gorgeous than legally allowed.
Paimon zipped forward in disbelief. "Whoa... Candace, you're still fighting? You've been out here dealing with these creatures the entire time?"
I gasped. "Abyssal wolf bullshits! Time to kick some wolfie ass!"
Candace, unfazed, replied with the grace of a warrior-poet. "Yes, they just keep coming in waves... I've lost count of how many I've defeated. Before I realized it, even the sandstorm had stopped."
Lumine stood beside me, eyeing Candace with that rare sparkle of admiration. "Not only is she really strong... Her stamina is also something else... I'm almost jealous."
Nilou nodded. "It's like she dances through the storm. So graceful even in battle..."
Paimon squeaked. "Eek, here comes another wave!"
Dehya slammed her fists together. "Leave this round to us! I got interrupted earlier, but now I have something to take my anger out on!"
Candace laughed lightly. "Hehe, it's been quite a while since I've seen the Flame-Mane in action. I'll leave these to you then."
Dehya smirked. "I'll be sure to put on a good show! Everyone, let's go!"
I cracked my neck and looked to Nilou with a sly grin. "Let me show you how cool I am."
Wink. Maximum effect.
Nilou blushed. Slightly. So slightly. But I saw it.
Victory.
Behind us, Lumine muttered, "Show-off."
I flexed dramatically. "This is called flair. Look it up."
We launched into battle, swords, fists, shields, tails—Greg threw in a few tail flicks for style points. The Rifthounds came in howling.
And we sent them back yowling.
After turning the first wave into a sad pile of pixels, I looked around and nodded. That's when I heard the dreaded words.
"Ugh, here comes another wave... When are they ever gonna let up!?" Paimon groaned.
I cracked my knuckles. Turned to Lumine.
"Time for round two!"
She didn't even blink. Just reached out, grabbed my wrist.
"Do the thing," I said.
And she did.
THREW. ME. STRAIGHT. AT. THE. RIFTHOUNDS.
I hit the ground like a meteor and came up swinging, Elemental Skills blazing like I was born for the battlefield. Greg backflipped off my head and tail-whipped a Rifthound in the face.
Nilou, watching from a safe distance, murmured, "They're in perfect sync... It's actually kind of beautiful."
Lumine, still fighting, muttered, "Finally. This is something he's good at."
Paimon clasped her tiny hands with sparkly eyes. "It's like watching a dance... A deadly, weird, very punchy dance."
By the time we were done, there were no more Rifthounds left to thwack.
"The creatures stopped appearing," Paimon finally declared. "Was that the last of them?"
Candace nodded, calmly. "What we fought just now was probably the aftermath of the sandstorm, so we should be safe for the time being."
Then a voice emerged from the sands. Old, wise, and very much not a boss battle.
"Well fought, everyone. No injuries, I hope?"
Paimon spun around. "Huh? Who are you?"
The man stepped forward, dusting off his cloak.
"Ah, my apologies, I haven't had a chance to greet you yet. I had my hands full taking care of the village's elderly and children."
He bowed respectfully. "I am the chief of Aaru Village. Everyone usually calls me Uncle Anpu. It's a pleasure to meet you. Sorry for all the trouble."
Cyno stepped up, his posture instantly respectful. "Sir, I am also originally from the desert, but I have not been back for some time now. May I ask if such sandstorms are common?"
Uncle Anpu shook his head. "I can't say they've always been common, but recently, the storms have become increasingly severe and frequent."
He added, "Besides sandstorms, we also occasionally get earthquakes... According to an investigator who stayed in the village a while ago, these unusual natural phenomena are related to the withering of Irminsul."
Paimon floated nervously. "Hmm, another effect of Irminsul's withering... So... Irminsul's withering causes Withering Zones in the forest, and sandstorms and earthquakes here in the desert?"
Alhaitham crossed his arms. "Everything in the natural world is inextricably connected to Irminsul. These 'regional symptoms' can indeed be a reflection of Irminsul's present state."
Dehya sighed. "Everyone in Aaru Village needs to take good care of themselves. Uh, speaking of which, why haven't I seen a single Village Keeper since I got here?"
Paimon blinked. "Village Keeper? Who are they? Village guards like Candace?"
Cyno pinched his nose. "Does your curiosity know no bounds... 'Village Keeper' is how Aaru Village refers to mad scholars exiled here by the Akademiya. Most of them are scholars who lost their sanity after a period of training in the Avidya Forest. The Akademiya believes that their crazed mutterings may have a negative effect on others, so they're forcibly exiled to the desert... Though if you ask me, it's all a boatload of nonsense."
Lumine nodded. "Tighnari also brought this up before... Haypasia was also nearly exiled to the desert."
Nilou frowned. "That's so sad... To go through so much, and then be sent away like that."
Uncle Anpu's expression darkened. "Alas, that's exactly what we've been trying to investigate. One by one, the Village Keepers have been mysteriously disappearing without a trace... But no one in the village has ever seen them leave. If you're planning to stay around the village for the next few days, I'd appreciate it if you could keep an eye out for them."
Cyno nodded. "I've had encounters with those people in the past. I'll see what I can do to help."
Alhaitham couldn't resist. "The matra are the ones responsible for their exile. Now that you're no longer with them, are you trying to alleviate your guilt and atone for your past sins? I'm fascinated by how you think."
Cyno's eyes narrowed. "Mock me if you will. But if you are guilty, I will eliminate you, regardless of my position or identity."
Uncle Anpu raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you're the former General Mahamatra? You must be an expert in these kinds of investigations. Thank you for your help."
Lumine turned to him. "We'll help, too."
I blinked. "We will?"
She gave me a look.
I nodded quickly. "Yeah sure we will."
Nilou placed a hand on my shoulder, smiling warmly. "Helping people like that... It's exactly why I admire you."
Lumine crossed her arms and gave me a side glance. "He had second thoughts, though," she muttered, like she just exposed me on live radio.
I immediately turned to her. "Lumine. Why you gotta say it like that? I was just... reassessing my life choices. In the middle of a sandstorm. Totally normal."
Paimon nodded. "Is it because you're reminded of Haypasia, Lumine? These poor scholars, first they lose their sanity, now this... We need to help get them back home, safe and sound. But, uh... Is it really a good idea to tag along with Cyno? You seem like you really don't trust him."
Lumine nodded. "That's why this is a great opportunity to watch him. It'll be fine. Dehya and the others are here, too."
Cyno smirked slightly. "I'll be grateful for the assistance. No doubt you will do a better job than some of my former subordinates. Let's start by finding a spot to share what we know so far."
I clapped my hands together, loud and proud.
"Alright gang! Time to brainstorm after the sandstorm!"
Everyone paused.
I paused.
"...Hey. Nice bars."
Greg did a little celebratory tail wiggle.
Thank you, Greg.
_________________
End of Chapter 114
Quests Completed:
*Successfully avoided emotional implosion in a 6-person tension trap during one of the worst desert storms in recent memory.
*Achieved full squad interaction using humor, food references, and dangerous levels of sass.
*Listened to both sides of the intellectual warzone. No casualties. Brain slightly melted.
*Watched Hydro Mommy fight a whole Rifthound rave party solo and somehow look elegant doing it.
*Learned about the scholars gone missing. Did not immediately volunteer but got emotionally guilt-tripped into it.
*Prevented another fight by being an unhinged comedic glue stick. Greg helped.
Rewards:
*Primogem Dust Bunny – (A literal handful of primogems… if you could actually grab them. Still sparkly though.)
*Sumeru Street Cred +250
*Hydro Protection Sigil – (Granted by Candace's presence. Temporarily immune to Awkward Silence Damage.)
*Desert Survival Buff (Lv. 1)
*Greg Approval +1
*+25 XP in Emotional Intelligence
*+250 Adventurer EXP
*+10 Mora (Dug under the sand)