Months had passed. And somehow, everything still felt the same. But also, a little different.
Ellie smiled more now. Laughed a little more too.
At first, it was all just habit. The kind of laughter that ended too soon. Smiles that barely reached her eyes. Pretending had become a routine she was too tired to fight. But slowly, it started to shift. The colors came back. Not all at once, but in little pieces. The sky didn't feel so heavy anymore. Nights were quieter. Less haunted.
She heard her name across the courtyard and turned just in time to see Tisha waving both arms, grinning like she hadn't been late for the third time that week.
"You're late," Ellie called out, lifting an eyebrow.
Tisha tossed her hair with dramatic flair. "Excuse me? You're lucky I even showed up for this dumb practice."
Anastasia walked beside her, chewing gum and clearly amused. "You're the one who begged to choreograph the dance, remember?"
"I was having a moment of weakness," Tisha said, looking completely unbothered.
Ellie laughed. Not the short, polite kind she'd given people for months. This one came from deep in her chest. It made her shoulders shake and her eyes crease in the corners.
Anastasia blinked, then smiled. Tisha just stared for a moment before quietly nudging her with an elbow.
"You laughed like a real person just now," Tisha said, voice light but honest.
Ellie shrugged. "I guess I'm getting better at being a real person again."
They made their way toward the benches near the gym, where a few others were stretching and chatting before dance practice. Ellie sat down beside Kyla, who offered her a small smile.
"You ever think maybe we're all just lying to each other?" Ellie asked quietly, looking out across the empty school field. "Saying we're okay until one day we start to believe it?"
Kyla nodded, not missing a beat. "Yeah. Pretending is kind of like... the first step, maybe."
Ellie thought about that. The wind caught her hair, and she didn't bother tucking it behind her ear. She just sat with the silence for a while.
"I'm not pretending anymore," she said after a moment. "Not as much, at least."
Kyla didn't say anything, but Ellie felt her hand rest lightly on her back, a quiet gesture of support.
She was healing.
Not in big, dramatic ways. But in the slow, uneven kind. The kind where you learn how to laugh again. Where you stop feeling guilty for having fun. Where you start to look in the mirror and see a whole girl, not just the leftover pieces of one.
"Want to get fries after this?" Kyla asked out of nowhere.
Ellie blinked. "Now? Like, right after practice?"
"Yeah," Kyla said with a little grin. "My treat."
Ellie narrowed her eyes, already smiling. "You're just doing this because you lost that bet yesterday."
Kyla raised her hands. "Guilty."
Maybe Ellie wasn't completely over Astrid. Maybe a part of her never would be. But she was here. She was showing up. And she was learning to choose herself again.
That was enough.
At least for now.
The smell of fries filled the tiny corner booth at Benny's. It was the same old place everyone went to after school—plastic red seats, ketchup bottles half-empty, and that squeaky ceiling fan that never worked quite right. Ellie sat across from Kyla, legs curled under her, dipping a fry into a milkshake and pretending that wasn't weird.
"You're a monster," Kyla said, watching her in mild horror.
"It's salty and sweet," Ellie said with a shrug. "Try it before you judge."
Kyla made a face. "I'll take your word for it."
They both laughed.
It had been a while since it felt like this. Easy. Comfortable. The kind of afternoon that didn't demand anything from her. No deep thoughts. No sadness pulling at the edges of her ribs. Just the occasional clink of plates and the quiet buzz of music from the diner speakers.
"I used to come here with Astrid," Ellie said without thinking.
Kyla looked up.
"She liked the fries too. Would dip them in ice cream sometimes. Said it was a 'ritual' or something," Ellie continued, smiling softly to herself. "I used to roll my eyes, but I'd always end up doing it too."
There was a pause. Not awkward. Just full.
"You miss her," Kyla said gently.
Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I think I always will."
She didn't cry. Didn't feel the sharp ache she once did. It was more of a quiet tug now, a memory she carried with care instead of pain.
"But I'm okay," she added. "Most days."
Kyla tilted her head. "I can tell."
Ellie leaned back, her stomach full and her chest feeling something like light. Not quite happiness. But close.
"Hey," Kyla said after a moment. "Do you remember that field behind the school? The one with all the fireflies?"
Ellie blinked. "Yeah. The seniors used to hang out there after finals."
"Want to go?" Kyla asked.
"Now?"
"You gotta stop asking that every time I suggest something spontaneous," Kyla said, laughing.
Ellie grinned. "Okay, fine. Lead the way."
They left the diner, the sky already turning soft shades of orange and pink. The walk to the field was quiet. Just the sound of their shoes on pavement and the occasional rustle of wind through the trees.
When they got there, the field looked almost untouched. A few flowers still clung to life near the edges. The tall grass brushed against their legs as they wandered toward the middle.
They sat down, the sky slowly dimming around them.
Fireflies began to appear, blinking softly like stars coming to life.
"I used to think healing would feel like this dramatic thing," Ellie said, picking at the grass. "Like one day I'd just wake up and not hurt anymore."
Kyla lay back and stared at the sky. "And does it?"
"No," Ellie said. "It's slower. And quieter. But it's real."
Kyla smiled. "Good. You deserve that."
Ellie turned her head. "So do you."
There was something in the way Kyla looked at her just then. Not intense or overwhelming. Just real. Steady. Like she had all the time in the world to wait for Ellie to catch up to her own heart.
Ellie felt it. That quiet stir in her chest. A spark she hadn't felt in a long time.
She looked away, unsure of what to do with it.
"You ever think about what's next?" she asked.
Kyla shrugged. "Sometimes. College, maybe. Or traveling. I want to see the world. I don't want to just exist in the same four walls my whole life."
Ellie smiled. "Sounds like something Tisha would say."
They laughed again, but the moment lingered.
"I think I want to fall in love again," Ellie said softly, surprising even herself.
Kyla didn't flinch. "You will."
Ellie looked at her. Really looked. The light catching in Kyla's eyes, the way she never looked away first. The calm she carried with her like a favorite song.
Maybe this was the beginning of something.
Or maybe it was just a warm night, with fireflies and soft grass and someone who made everything feel okay for a little while.
Either way, Ellie was finally open to the possibility.
And that was something.