No matter what happens, I won't cry, Lu Yan thought viciously.
It was really hard to think over Echo's constant wailing. Lu Yan closed her eyes and tried to shut this stupid voice up.
She took deep breaths and pressed and pressed with all her might. The back of her head and neck began to ache. But the wailing became fainter.
Lu Yan wasn't afraid. If you thought about it, there really wasn't any difference between being here and being in her room. Except maybe her bed, and desk.
Lu Yan walked over to the altar where it was the brightest.
Resisting the urge to smash all the ancestral tablets, she took a candle and said out loud, "I need this more than you, you dead dogs."
Laughing to herself, she took the candle and sat in a corner with her back to the wall, not looking at the towering darkness all around her.
Setting the candle down, she gathered all the knee cushions and brought them to her corner too. Then she fished a scroll out of her cloak and unwinding it, started reading.
This was the first time she was locked in here without Luizhu. There was a great difference between having one person and having no one accompanying you.
"I don't need her," Lu Yan told herself sternly.
Her voice echoed around the hall. Lu Yan didn't look up from her scroll.
Feelings rose and crashed. Echo began screaming again.
Lu Yan started reading out loud from the scroll, trying to drown it all out.
---
Hours later, when darkness had fallen, the door to the ancestral hall opened and Lu Feng walked in carrying a lamp and a food box.
At first glance, Lu Yan was nowhere to be seen.
He looked around and found her huddled into a ball in the darkness against one of the walls.
Walking over, he saw she was fast asleep, curled up in a big cloak, breathing deeply. On the floor, his foot crushed something. Kneeling down, he looked closer. It was a burned out candle stub.
Nearby, Lu Yan was clutching a half-rolled scroll between her fingers.
Gently, he pulled the scroll from her grasp and looked it over: it was a complicated diagram of the meridians and Qi pathways in the head.
He had had no idea Lu Yan was interested in medicine.
Examining the scroll, he found the calligraphy beautiful, the silk high-quality and, as far as he could tell, the illustration accurate. This was obviously a precious medical scroll. But there was no sign of the writer- no signature, no seal, nothing
He looked at the sleeping girl, muttering to himself, "Where did you even get this?"
He set the scroll aside, and gently shook her awake.
Lu Yan opened her tired eyes to find Lu Feng crouching before her.
His face, lit by the lamp on the floor, was full of deep shadows. His eyes were hidden.
Lu Yan's heart leapt, and she quickly sat up and away from him, curling back against the wall.
Lu Feng watched sleepiness give way to terror in his little sister's eyes.
Gently, he said, "It's me, Lu Feng."
Lu Yan breathed, watching him carefully. Slowly, her eyes adjusted and her pounding heart calmed.
Recalling the events of the afternoon, she watched him warily, wondering why he was even here.
Lu Feng opened the box of food, and set out the bowls before her.
"Here, I brought you dinner."
Lu Yan looked at the bowls- steaming soup, rice, stir-fried beef and vegetables.
She made no movement to eat, asking instead, "Why are you here?"
Lu Feng looked puzzled, "To bring you dinner. And good news."
Lu Yan said coldly, "Didn't you leave earlier?"
Lu Feng watched her hostile eyes for a moment. Then he said slowly, "Let me tell you a secret- if mother is angry and you contradict her in public, the punishment always gets worse. It's best to talk to her in private after she has vented her anger."
Lu Yan watched him with unblinking eyes.
Lu Feng took out a pair of chopsticks, "I followed her when she left, and negotiated your punishment. You'll have to stay here tonight, but from tomorrow, I'll be supervising your punishment."
"Only tonight?" Lu Yan asked eagerly.
Lu Feng handed her the chopsticks, and nodded with a smile.
Slowly, Lu Yan accepted the chopsticks, asking, "What will we be doing from tomorrow on?"
Lu Feng sounded apologetic, "You'll have to help me copy a lot of scrolls everyday. But it's better than being locked up alone here, isn't it?"
"Really?!"
Lu Feng nodded, "Really."
"Alright!" Lu Yan cheered suddenly, smiling widely.
"Eat up before the food gets cold," Lu Feng urged her.
Lu Yan pulled the rice bowl closer, and stuffed a big portion into her mouth.
As she ate, Lu Feng picked up the scroll again, and asked, "Where did you get this from?"
Lu Yan set her rice bowl down, and snatched the scroll from his hands, stuffing it back inside her cloak.
Lu Feng watched in astonishment.
Lu Yan ate a bite, completely ignoring his question. She glanced up at him quickly to see his expression.
Lu Feng saw her wariness and thought she was like a little wild animal who trusted no one.
He didn't ask again. He sat there watching her eat. She ate quickly.
Since she didn't speak at all, he thought she was angry at him.
But when he put the dishes back in the box, she suddenly grabbed his sleeve, and asked, "Can you stay here with me tonight?"
Lu Feng looked at her little tired face with the big dark eyes, and felt his heart melt.
Setting the box aside, he said, "Mother's maid is standing outside."
Lu Yan's face fell. She took her hand back, and said, "Right, I forgot about her."
Lu Feng considered, "But I can leave through the front door and come back through one of the back windows."
Lu Yan felt a flicker of hope, "Won't she find out?"
"No one guards the ancestral temple. If we keep quiet, no one will know."
"Go on then! And come back quickly," Lu Yan urged.
"I'll leave the lamp here. You go and open one of the back windows for me."
Saying this he stood up, took the food box and walked away.
Lu Yan watched him leave through the front door of the hall. The door closed behind him.
Heart thumping with expectation, she took the lamp and walked towards the back of the hall.