The next morning, the atmosphere felt strangely still for Hikigaya especially, considering the events of the last two days.
He found himself standing alone, as usual, near the corner of the side wall by the entrance, leaning back with his hands in his pockets while he watched the steady flow of students pass by. No one looked his way; his unremarkable presence blended into the background without effort.
As a loud group of normies passed, even his eyes couldn't help but drift their way. It was a mixed group of boys and girls, the kind of group that fit the "high school vibe" perfectly, always finding something to be excited about.
A guy at the front of the group said, "Hey, guys, what do you say we hit the karaoke place at Keyaki Mall after class?"
His friend lit up instantly. "Finally! I've been wanting to try that place."
A girl jumped in, "Same! I heard the rooms there are huge."
The girl at the center laughed, "Then we're definitely going. No excuses, and call everyone else too!"
A boy threw her a thumbs-up. "Ichinose, you're seriously the best."
Hikigaya watched them for a moment longer than he intended. Not because he wanted to join in or because something about them bothered him, but because the scene passed directly in front of him and his eyes followed out of habit.
Watching this scene of people joking around, laughing, and enjoying their youth should've made him so irritated that he'd start judging them on instinct. That's how he used to believe he would react.
But instead of bitterness, all he felt now was a strange sense of comfort and relief in not being part of any of this, a comfort that also left a faint unease behind.
He let the thought linger for a moment before exhaling quietly.
"…Ah yes, the boundless energy of youth, even this early in the morning. Kids these days sure are something…" He took a second to process that. '…Wait did I really just say that? I'm technically youth too, aren't I? So why do I already sound like some overworked middle-aged uncle? Ugh… at this rate I'll be ranting about "back in my days" before I even make it to graduation.'
Then, when he finally noticed two familiar figures approaching, Hikigaya pushed off the wall he'd been waiting against and straightened.
"Yo," he said casually as they approached. "You two are actually on time. Huh… not bad."
"R-Right!" Ike said. "Of course. We… we came as fast as we could."
The comment was mild and didn't sound like much, but Ike and Yamauchi couldn't help tensing up anyway, since they couldn't tell whether he meant it in a good way or a bad one.
Yamauchi nodded stiffly. "Yeah… we weren't going to mess up. Not today."
He gave a small hum. "Is that so? Good."
As he looked at them properly, taking in how oddly stiff and careful they were now, the difference from two days ago was hard to ignore.
'In their eyes,' he mused, noticing the complete shift in their attitude, 'I guess I kind of look like some monster casually deciding whether to let them walk away or eat them for breakfast. Man… I can't even tell if that's supposed to flatter me or really worry me.'
Hikigaya let the thought drift away and clicked his tongue lightly. "Tch… relax, I'm not going to bite you two or something."
"Uh—yeah, we… we know that."
They absolutely did not know that, but he decided not to say anything further.
"If you say so." he said simply.
"Well?" Hikigaya asked. "You two remember what I told you to do today, right?"
Ike answered immediately. "Y-Yes! Of course! We—we remember everything."
"Alright then," he said, his voice low with a hint of warning. "Just don't mess it up. I'd hate to see either of you make things… unnecessarily complicated both for me or for yourself."
Neither needed him to elaborate. The meaning was already loud enough.
He was about to say something else when he caught movement in the corner of his eye and paused.
"Good morning, Hikigaya-kun,"
Hirata called out to him, his expression was as fresh and friendly as always. There was even a faint floral scent around him, which if he had to guess was just something normie main-characters gave off by default. If he were a girl, he might've shrieked 'Kyaa… hold me!' before his brain even realized what was happening.
…Which was a terrifying thought, now that he pictured it.
As he came closer, he stopped just a step-in front of them. His eyes softened with relief the moment he got a proper look at Hikigaya.
"Hirata," Hikigaya greeted back with a small nod. "Something you need?"
"Well," Hirata began, "I was actually looking for you."
He paused, glancing again at Ike and Yamauchi. "But I… didn't expect to see you three together. This is a little unusual."
Ike shifted his weight awkwardly under Hirata's gaze. Yamauchi looked away as if suddenly fascinated by the ground.
Hikigaya didn't comment on it. "And?"
"Ah… I'm glad I finally found you. You really disappear the moment class ends, you know? It's hard to track you down."
"I didn't realize I needed to report my location." Hikigaya replied dryly.
"No, no, nothing like that. I just… wanted to check on you."
'…So, he really did try to talk to me yesterday. Guess I wasn't just imagining those glances,' he muttered inwardly.
He had noticed Hirata glancing over now and then, like he wanted to approach him, even if he tried not to make it obvious. But Hikigaya had made sure to slip out before he got the chance. Not just from him, but from Ayanokouji as well. At the time, his priority had been sorting things out with Ike & Yamauchi first and making sure they kept their mouths shut afterward.
Pretending not to know any of that, he asked, "Check on me? For what?"
Hirata hesitated, his eyes drifting once more between the three of them, first to the purplish bruise along Hikigaya's cheekbone, then to the slight swelling on Yamauchi's jaw.
"Well…" he started carefully, "there's been… tension lately. Between you three. And Sudou-kun as well."
His brows furrowed with genuine concern. "I was worried something might've happened. Or… that you might've been targeted."
Ike and Yamauchi jolted at the word targeted. Even Hikigaya felt the corner of his mouth twitch not in amusement, but at the sheer irony of being mistaken for the victim here.
"Targeted, huh?" Hikigaya said flatly.
He let out a small sigh. "I wouldn't call it 'targeted' exactly. Yeah, these guys were a little worked up at that time and we ended up having a small scuffle but it was nothing as serious as whatever scenario you're picturing."
Ike opened his mouth as if to add something, then immediately thought better of it. Hikigaya didn't give either of them room to interrupt.
"But it's handled now," he said. "We're cool. Nobody's holding anything against anyone… right, guys?"
Ike and Yamauchi exchanged a quick look before nodding. They clearly understood what he meant.
"Y-Yes! Totally cool!" Ike insisted.
"It's water under the bridge!" Yamauchi added.
Hirata's gaze drifted over the three of them again. For a second, it looked like he wanted to point out the bruises, or at least ask what really happened. But with all of them claiming things were fine, he seemed to decide dragging that into the open would only make things awkward.
Even so, a faint worry lingered on his face.
"I see… that's a relief," Hirata said, his smile returning slightly. "Conflicts happen, but talking things through is important. I'm glad you managed to do that."
"But speaking of that…" Hirata looked down briefly, then back up. "What about Sudo-kun? He's been absent since yesterday, and I couldn't reach him either. I was hoping one of you might—"
"Hirataaa! What are you doing? Can you hurry up already?"
Suddenly, a mildly irritated voice called out from behind them, making all four boys turn toward the source
A blonde girl with a gyaru vibe, whose name was Karu-something if he remembered right, stood a few meters away with a couple of other girls, from their group, arms crossed and foot tapping. The moment her eyes landed on the three boys in front of Hirata, she frowned a little.
"Hirata-kun, why're you over there?" she called out loudly. "Ugh, seriously… these three pervy idiots again? Come on, don't get dragged into weird stuff first thing in the morning."
At Karu-something's comment, Ike stiffened slightly, the kind of reflex that came from being insulted too often. He muttered something under his breath something that sounded like "Dammit…" but died halfway.
Yamauchi, on the other hand, clicked his tongue quietly, irritation flashing across his face before he forced it down. Then his gaze dropped to the ground, a touch of shame slipping through despite his attempt to stay annoyed.
Hikigaya looked at the two of them, genuinely surprised at how they reacted, though none of it reached his face.
Hirata gave an apologetic laugh. "Ah… sorry, Karuizawa. I'll be right there."
He turned back to Hikigaya, clearly wanting to finish the question about Sudo, but Karuizawa was already calling him again louder.
"Hirata-kun! Hurry up!"
Caught between both sides, he managed only a quick, clipped follow-up.
"About Sudo-kun… if you hear anything, please let me know later, alright?"
"Yeah. Sure," Hikigaya replied simply.
Hirata looked relieved just to get an answer, even if it was brief, and began heading back toward his group. He watched him go for a second, but then a thought nudged at the back of his mind. He hesitated briefly before calling out.
"Hey, Hirata. Wait a second."
Hirata paused mid-step and looked back, puzzled.
"Uh… if you've got time later," Hikigaya said, choosing his words carefully, "I need to talk to you. It's… something important."
Surprise flickered across Hirata's face, quickly followed by a small, reassuring smile. "Alright. Just let me know when."
With that, he jogged back to rejoin the waiting girls, who immediately started fussing over him and complaining again.
The moment he left, the air around the remaining three thinned into an awkward silence.
Ike scratched his cheek, then opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something about "Um, Is Sudo—"
—but whatever thought he had evaporated the instant he met Hikigaya's eyes.
"…No, never mind," he muttered.
Yamauchi shifted from foot to foot, eyes drifting down in that awkward way people do when they don't know where to look.
Hikigaya stared at them for a moment, then let out a quiet sigh. "…If you've got nothing to say, what are you still standing here for? You can leave, you know."
Ike and Yamauchi flinched at his words as if suddenly remembering they were, in fact, free to go.
"W-Well… we'll head out then," he said, already stepping back.
They turned toward the school building. No shoving, no loud jokes, no pointless bragging about things that never happened. One trailed a few steps behind the other, a heavy, uncomfortable silence stretched thin between them.
Hikigaya stayed behind, leaning back against the wall as he watched their retreating backs until they disappeared into the crowd of students.
"…Guess they're definitely quieter, huh," he said, sliding his hands back into his pockets.
It wasn't just fear. Something about the way they walked felt… less noisy than usual.
'Well… that was the whole point of this entire thing, wasn't it?' he muttered inwardly.
After all, these three idiots are the 'spark' needed to get through this school's assessment.
But the way they were before? There was no way they could've handled what he needed them to do.
'Anyone paying attention would've noticed,' he mused, his gaze lingering on the empty space where they had stood. 'They were basically living in a bubble. Yamauchi pretending, he was some big shot to hide how insecure he was. Ike acting like nothing was ever his fault, playing the victim so he never had to take responsibility.'
Alone, those lies would've collapsed fast. But together? They kept each other afloat. One delusion reinforcing the other. A worthless friendship made of shared denial.
So, he did the only thing someone like him ever does: shoved the ugly parts in front of them until they couldn't pretend anymore.
First, he killed them socially at the pool. Sure, his plan had been to handle it differently, and he definitely hadn't meant to drag his own social standing into the mud with theirs… But oh well Whatever, Shit happens.
Then came the physical stuff. He had to act like a total lunatic in that alley just to end it quickly. If he hadn't scared them straight, he might've had to actually hurt them more, and he really didn't want to do that. Fear was a better teacher than a fist, after all.
And finally, he cornered them in the bathroom and took away every escape, even the authority they relied on. He pushed them until the lies snapped, until they turned on each other just to survive. In the end, he made them face the truth that their "friendship" was hollow.
He looked down at his hands. They felt heavier than they should.
Honestly, he didn't have much hope for any of them. People don't change that easily. Once the fear wears off, they'll probably just go back to being idiots or maybe become something worse than before.
He did all this just to make his plan work. That's it.
'That's what I tell myself, anyway.' Hikigaya let out a long, tired sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. '…And yet here I am, still… hoping they'll… you know. Not end up the same way again.'
He scowled at the thought immediately.
It wasn't because he cared about them or anything. He wasn't that benevolent.
No, it was something far more pathetically selfish.
'I just want to feel good about myself, don't I?' he thought with a sneer. 'I want to believe that my horrible actions brought about something good. That I didn't just break them for my own gain, but that I somehow "saved" them—ugh—from their own pathetic natures. It's disgusting self-justification. It's practically a lie.'
He felt a wave of disdain for his own hypocrisy. Hoping for their redemption just to ease his own conscience? Who was he kidding? There was nothing noble about any of it, just him being arrogant again in the worst way.
A quiet breath slipped out. 'But still…'
With a small push away from the wall, he adjusted his bag on his shoulder. ''If they actually changed for the better—no, scratch that. If they even tried to then I…'
He caught himself and shut that thought down immediately, his jaw tightening for a moment before he buried the idea entirely.
Shaking his head, he tried to physically shake off the gloomy mood.
"Whatever," he muttered as he started walking. "No point getting sentimental. I still have to deal with Sudou next."
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Later, during the lunch break.
The area behind the gymnasium was relatively quiet, save for the rhythmic thumping of basketballs echoing faintly from inside.
Hikigaya leaned against the vending machine with a can of iced orange juice the best he could get after forgetting to bring his emergency MAX Coffee stash this morning. Naturally, he ended up at another vending machine near the basketball club that didn't sell it, since these "premium normie-approved" machines refuse to stock his MAX Coffee.
"This sucks big time."
He pressed the cold can to his cheek, trying to fight off the noon heaviness creeping in from another sleepless night.
'…Man, I'm so damn tired,' he thought. 'Of course this is what I'm doing at lunch these days. When really, I should be trying to squeeze in a nap under a shady tree somewhere. Anything but… this. But here we are.'
He took a sip of the orange juice. Even the sweetness felt half-hearted.
A few minutes passed before the gym doors creaked open.
Sudo Ken stepped out.
He looked rough. His nose was plastered with a white bandage, and his right hand the one he favored for basketball was wrapped tightly in gauze. He walked with that stiff, frustrated heaviness of someone who didn't want to be seen but was too pissed off to care if he was.
Hikigaya waited until Sudo was a few steps away before pushing himself off the vending machine.
"Yo," he called out, his tone casually dull. "You look like you've been run over by a truck. Or, well… something close to it."
Sudo stopped when he heard the voice. He didn't snap back right away. He just lifted his head slowly, his eyes tired and unfocused. When he recognized Hikigaya, a small flicker of irritation crossed his face, but it didn't have much strength behind it.
"The hell do you want, Psycho?" Sudo muttered, "Came to laugh at me?"
"Laugh? Nah, that takes too much energy," Hikigaya replied, "I just noticed you haven't been coming to school for the last two days. Figured I'd see what you were up to after… you know, getting whipped like that."
Sudo's jaw tightened, but he didn't shout. He just looked away, staring at the pavement. "If you're just here to talk trash, get lost. I'm not in the mood."
He clicked his tongue, turning away as if to leave but Hikigaya's next words stopped him in his tracks.
"You know, Sudo" he said quietly, "It's… kind of pitiful."
"…What?" Sudo barked, irritation sharpening just a little.
"…Tell me, did someone at least come see how you were doing?" he asked.
Sudo froze not fully, but enough that the twitch in his shoulder gave it away.
He scoffed almost instantly, looking off to the side.
"Tch. Why the hell would I need anyone checking on me?" he muttered. "I'm fine. It's none of your business anyway."
That tone half denial, half brittle pride was so typically Sudo that it almost made Hikigaya sigh.
"Right. None of my business," Hikigaya said softly. "Even so… it's a pretty sad picture, isn't it?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he growled.
"I mean, you've been gone for almost two days and nobody's even tried to reach out to you. The only one who bothered to come see you… is the very guy who put you in those bandages."
Sudo stopped in his tracks. His back stiffened.
"Shut the fuck up," he whispered harshly.
"I'm just saying," Hikigaya continued, shrugging even though Sudo couldn't see him.
"I really do feel bad for what I did. But you know… watching your so-called 'buddies' sell you out in sixty seconds? Talking all that shit about you, even after you always stood up for them? Man… even for someone like me, that was brutal."
Sudo turned around slowly, his fists clenching at his sides. The bandages on his hand strained against the movement.
Hikigaya met his gaze evenly. "But hey, don't misunderstand. It's better this way, right? They showed their true colors. Friends who drop you the second things get tough… honestly, people like that just make life harder and shittier. They're dead weight. You're better off without them dragging you down."
It was a logical argument. In his mind, it was the absolute truth. Relationships built purely on convenience and mutual avoidance were nothing but liabilities waiting to blow up. He was doing Sudo a favor by pointing that out.
But Sudo didn't see it that way.
"Do you…?" Sudo's voice trembled.
Hikigaya blinked. "Huh?"
"Do you have friends or anyone you hang out with?" Sudo asked, his voice rising, cracking with raw emotion.
He paused. The answer was obvious. "…No."
"Then why don't you SHUT THE HELL UP!"
The shout was so loud it made Hikigaya flinch. Sudo took a step forward, his face twisting not just with anger, but with something wet and painful in his eyes.
"What right… what right does a lonely bastard like you have to preach to me?!" Sudō screamed.
Sudo's chest heaved, every breath uneven. His bandaged hand shook at his side, not from rage alone but from something he didn't want anyone to see.
Hikigaya stared back silently, taken aback not by the volume, but by the hurt that leaked through each word.
Sudo kept going.
"You don't get it!" he shouted, voice cracking again. "You don't know shit about friends! You don't know what it's like to have people to talk to, to mess around with, to… to actually be there! You never had any of that, so how the hell would you understand?!"
Hikigaya opened his mouth, but Sudo didn't let him speak.
"You think I don't know they're idiots?" he yelled, jabbing a finger toward the ground as if Ike and Yamauchi were standing right there. "You think I don't know they're cowards? That they talk shit, that they lie, that they get me in trouble, that they drag me down?"
His voice wavered—just slightly.
"I KNOW ALL THAT! I'm not stupid!"
The words rang sharp, desperate, and painfully honest. Sudo's gaze dropped to the bandages on his hand, then to the pavement.
"But… at least…" His throat worked, trying to force the words out. "At least I had someone. At least… someone would sit next to me. Joke with me. Even if it was all just a stupid crap… even if they're a pain… I wasn't alone."
That word — alone — made Hikigaya's chest feel oddly tight, like a familiar wound being prodded.
His voice lowered, trembling. "That's more than you have."
Hikigaya nearly coughed blood at how brutally honest that was. '…Damn. That actually hurt…a lot.'
"So don't you dare stand there and pretend you know better!" he snarled. "You don't know a damn thing about me or them. You don't know how it feels to have someone—ANYONE—choose you. Even if they're dumb or annoying or weak… they were still with me."
He sucked in a shaky breath.
"…Until you showed up."
Hikigaya blinked, the smallest flicker of regret passing through his expression.
Sudo stepped closer towering over him, voice dropping into a rough, gutted whisper.
"Now I got nothing. You hear me? Nothing. No friends, no one to talk to. You took all that. And you stand there acting like you did me some favor?"
The bitterness deepened.
"You—of all people—saying I'm better off alone… is the shittiest joke I've ever heard."
Hikigaya's lips parted for a moment, but he didn't bother saying anything. Anything he said right now would only sound pathetic, so he let the words die before they even formed.
Sudo's breathing was ragged, each inhale trembling with frustration and pain.
Then—
In one sudden motion—
He grabbed the basketball tucked under his arm—
And hurled it at Hikigaya with every ounce of strength he had left.
"JUST GET LOST ALREADY!"
Hikigaya's eyes widened. His body reacted on instinct. His hands shot up, and he caught the ball right in front of his chest with a heavy smack.
The force of the throw was stronger than he expected. It pushed his upper body back.
Hikigaya took a step back to steady himself but his heel caught the edge of a low metal bench sitting directly behind him.
"Ah—"
His center of gravity vanished. His knees buckled as they hit the metal, and his legs flew up.
THUD.
Hikigaya crashed onto his back on the other side of the bench, the breath knocked out of him, the basketball rolling harmlessly away across the grass.
"Ouiee…" Hikigaya groaned, staring up at the sky. 'Seriously? A bench? That's how I go down?'
He lay there for another moment, letting the sting in his lower back settle. Then he pushed himself up just enough to see Sudo's back.
"H…hey, Sudo… wait a—uh—"
He cut himself off, realizing how pointless it was.
Sudo ignored him and clicked his tongue—tch—then turned and walked off without a word.
Hikigaya let his head fall back onto the grass with a soft thud his hand, which had started to reach out, fell back to his side.
For a second, he just lay there, staring at the cloudless sky.
"…Guess I deserved that one, huh" he muttered.
He breathed out with a low sigh, rolled onto one elbow, and winced at the dull ache crawling up his spine.
"I underestimated things again… tch…"
His fingers curled slightly into the grass, frustration slipping through the cracks of his usual calm.
"But now what… I can't just stop now? I am close…"
A bitter laugh almost escaped him before he smothered it. He clenched his fist tighter. "…Damn it."
Sudo's words lingered like a bruise he couldn't rub out.
'You don't know shit about having friends!'
"…Maybe he's right," Hikigaya muttered, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. "Once again… I cared more about the problem than the people involved in it. Heh… same old shit."
He rubbed a hand over his face, the edge of his own logic suddenly feeling too sharp. Slowly, he braced one palm against the ground and began to push himself up.
"Even so…" he whispered, his voice trembling slightly, vulnerable in a way he rarely allowed himself to be. "Even though he's right… there is something he's wrong about. After all, I too—"
"Hachiman"
A quiet voice rang inside his head.
Rising slowly, unsettled by what he thought he heard, his eyes wandered past the bench and caught an unexpected reflection in the low glass window of the gym's basement a short distance away.
"Whaat…?" He blinked and leaned forward slightly, trying to focus on the reflection.
And then—
In the glass, he expected to see his messy hair, and his charming tired dead-fish eyes.
But instead of his reflection looking back…
It was Him.
"Tell me… you haven't forgotten me already, have you?"
A silent figure clad in a black leather jacket and a dark hoodie. The face was completely hidden by the oversized, grotesquely cheerful mask of Pan-San the Panda.
"W-why again…" he stammered, "How… why is it you… why now…y…you?"
Hikigaya's blood ran cold. His breath seized in his throat. His entire face went instantly pale, a fearful expression cracking his usual gloomy expression.
"You think you can leave me behind? How naive of you."
It was his own voice but colder, whispering in his head and twisting his name into a quiet mockery.
"…Two days ago… tell me, Hachiman… what you did was that really just an act… or something else, hmm? You never answered."
Hikigaya swallowed hard, forcing the words out.
"It… it was a performance," he whispered. "That's all it was. Just a scare tactic. That's all. It was necessary."
But even he could hear something off in his own voice. The voice in his head ignored his answer.
"Is that so?" the voice mocked gently. "Then answer me this. Why are you doing all of this? Why go this far?
The Pan-San mask in the reflection didn't move, but the painted smile seemed to remain still.
"What's the real reason, Hachiman? What are you trying to prove… and for whom? For what?"
"I…" His breathing turned thin and erratic, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird fighting to tear its way out. "Don't you… don't you already know? You should already know… everything… every little thing…"
"Haa… haah…" He tried to steady his breathing, but it only came out in short, panicked bursts.
His throat tightened. "Because… because you—"
The words stayed stuck in his mouth. He couldn't bring himself to say it. He couldn't admit it.
His hand pressed harder into the grass, but his arm felt like it wasn't even part of him anymore. A cold sweat broke across his skin, his whole body shivering as if the temperature had dropped ten degrees.
"Haaa… haah… haah"
The world around him tilted.
The reflection wavered, yet the Pan-San smile didn't even flicker.
Too much. It was way too much.
His body chose for him.
Everything went white for a second.
Then—
"You know," the voice whispered, "You know exactly what you are."
The sound was quiet, yet it sank into him like it knew exactly where to land.
His vision blurred at the edges.
He collapsed backward, consciousness slipping through his fingers.
"Haa… haah…"
His breath slipped out of rhythm, each inhale thinner than the last. His fingers twitched uselessly against the grass, no longer able to grip anything especially not himself.
"Sudo you wrong…"
Just before his vision faded, a faint whisper slipped from his lips, barely more than a breath.
"I… I know it too… I had a friend… not just any friend… my—"
The last word didn't make it out.
Everything went dark, then—
"Friends?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note
Hey! I hope this chapter was alright. Don't worry, this isn't the end the next chapter is almost ready too, and I'll upload it in half a day.
Originally, the next chapter was part of this one, but the pacing would've felt way too heavy and overwhelming all at once. So, I figured splitting them here was the wiser choice, since it keeps the flow much cleaner and gives each moment the space it deserves.
Thanks for reading! See you in the next one soon!
— Raijinmaru_K2