---
It began with a kettle and a dream.
Specifically, Lin Feng's dream of sipping tea quietly in a place where no one called him "Supreme Nap Sage," bowed at his feet, or begged him to bless their pillows.
So, naturally, he opened a teashop.
Right in the middle of Azure Sky Sect's busiest courtyard.
With a hand-painted sign:
"Feng Shui & Sip: Where Trouble Can't Find You (Unless It's Wearing Robes)."
Bai Xue had warned him. "You're an elder. You can't just… open a teashop."
But Lin Feng was already installing beanbags and building a menu.
Tea of Tranquility
Snoozeberry Special
The Forget-Me-Not-Your-Debts Blend
…and, of course, Duckleaf Brew (a fan favorite with a tiny duck-shaped sugar cube in each cup).
Business boomed.
Even the sternest sect elders stopped by "just to look" and left with three cups, a pastry, and an existential craving to retire.
---
Two Days Later…
Lin Feng stood behind the counter in an apron that read "I Steep for the Weak", serving tea and pretending not to be an elder.
"Tea or trauma today?" he asked his next customer.
A disciple dropped a spirit coin. "Both, please."
Just then, the Demon King entered—wearing glasses and carrying a clipboard.
"Inventory report," he grunted. "We're out of snoozeberries."
"Already?" Lin Feng frowned. "I thought we had barrels."
The Demon King sighed. "They were consumed by a mysterious monk who claimed your tea gave him 'dreams of cosmic naps.' Then he floated into the sky."
Lin Feng blinked. "Should I… report that?"
Bai Xue burst in, waving another scroll. "You have to see this!"
She slammed it down on the counter. It was an alchemical report.
> SUBJECT: The Tea of Tranquility, brewed at precisely 87° using Azure Spring water and infused with snoozeberries, has an unexpected side effect…
RESULT: Induces astral-level sleep deep enough to allow brief contact with dream spirits.
CONCLUSION: This is not a beverage. This is a literal elixir. Possibly divine. Probably illegal.
Also, I had a very long nap. Thank you.
Lin Feng dropped the scroll. "I accidentally invented divine sleepy tea?!"
Bai Xue facepalmed. "Again."
Just then, the floor shook.
A flaming pigeon with a letter tied to its leg dive-bombed the window and squawked:
"YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED TO THE ANNUAL ALCHEMY SYMPOSIUM.
Bring your nap potion. Or else."
Lin Feng stared at the smoking message.
"Bai Xue?"
"Yes?"
"Is it too late to pretend I'm just a guy who sells mildly cursed teacups?"
"Yes."
The Demon King adjusted his glasses. "Do you want me to attend as your violent representative?"
"No violence," Lin Feng muttered. "Just tea. Just naps. Just… peace."
Flame Duck waddled in wearing a teashop uniform.
Quack: "Too late. You're famous again."
Lin Feng sighed, staring into a cup of tea so calming it could sedate a thunder beast.
"I just wanted to relax."
A chorus of voices outside chanted,
"Praise be to the Tea Sage!"
"Bring forth the Brewmaster!"
"My mother dreamed of a duck and now she speaks fluent pillow!"
Lin Feng placed his forehead on the counter.
"I'm going to sleep right here. Wake me if someone tries to name a constellation after me again."
The Demon King handed him a blanket.
"Too late. They already did. It's called 'The Reclining Sage.