It's January 18th, Henry's' birthday, he is 18 years old today. Another year and sadly I am starting to feel left behind. The closer to the end of senior year he gets the closer he gets to leaving for college.. where he will leave without me. I will be stuck in the deadbeat town where nothing ever seems to happen. Henry is my world, the air I need to breath. He makes me feel complete. Without him I wouldn't know what to do with my life, it would be very boring without him. Ever since my mother passed away he was my saving grace, because my father turned to alcohol when I needed him the most, he abandoned me at our darkest point of our lives where we needed to stay close together. I though he loved me enough to stay strong not just for me but himself as well but apparently not. Apparently he was so lost that he chose to drink himself into endless nights of numbness. I hope that he find tranquility when he drinks himself to sleep at night, cause when ever I close my eyes all i find is turmoil and it scares me. I can't sleep without seeing my mothers' lifeless body in that casket, cold and stiff from the brisk of death. No matter how much makeup they put on her if you wash it away you will see the pale lifeless color of her complexion. The dull purple color of her once beautiful cherry red lips. I will never see the glow of her amber eyes ever again. Never hear her soothing song bird voice that would calm a storm is you ever heard her sing. She was my mother the one who swore to keep me safe, and my father… my father lied about keeping me safe. Now all I see of him when I sleep is him coming home wasted, angry and breaking everything in his path.Pushing me against a well and throwing glass. Screaming at me to leave and never come back because I reminded him to much of my mother.
Said that I was the reason for her passing, that if I was never born then my mother would still be alive and healthy. It is not like I chose to be here, My mother had been fighting with cancer way before I was even thought of and she chose to stop treatment so I could live. After I was born she had to wait for her body to recover from the pregnancy to finally start treatment back up but it was too late. The cancer had spread from her lungs to her bones and then her brain when I was 6 and then passed away when I was 7. And I will never forget the last day I ever spent with her. But I will never forget the last time my father actually looked at me with love in his eyes instead of hatred towards me.
Now that I got all of that out of my system I am excited to see Henry this morning. He was talking about this party that he will be throwing later on this evening since Sabrina and Anthony are out of town for the week. They run a business together and just happened to have a very important meeting to attend in Paris that could not be postponed so they last last Sunday. Henry said since they are out of town he can throw a large party and invite a lot of people, he even said I could invite Grayson and Mackenzie to the party as long as we didn't do anything embarrassing. Which might be hard for Mackenzie but its a working progress. I should probably get ready for school, cause I believe my alarm is about to go off. I always seem to wake up an hour to thirty minuets before it goes off. I look over at my alarm clock and it is five forty eight in the morning. So I have been awake for the last thirtyish minutes, I don't want to get up out of bed. It's so warm the covers are making me feel safe like I am wrapped in his arms. The mattress just holds you captive that it is impossible to get out of. Out of no where I am startled by a loud knocking on my door I check the clock once more and it is finally six in the morning. I bet it is Blake making sure I am awake, "Come in!'" I yell as I get up out of bed and walk across the room to turn on my lights. "Just checking to make sure you are awake, Destiny made pancakes and bacon so come downstairs when you are done." I watched Blake smile and then close the door behind him. Pancakes and bacon Henry's favorite, I bet Destiny made them really early so they would be ready for when we all woke up. I walk into the bathroom and quickly brush my teeth and comb out my hair, I reach for the mascara and put on slight brown eye shadow on my eyebrows to make them pop a bit more.
I throw on the clothes I had picked out last night and hung up in the bathroom. I chose to wear a black and white small stripped skirt with a long sleeve Cami lace top with a low v-neck, on my legs I am wearing black high stockings. I walked out over to my dresser and put on my long silver chain necklace with a small ring put on it. I put in my dagger earnings with little ruby gems in it, and then slip on my black and white convers. Grabbing my book bag I rush out my bedroom door and head down the stairs. I turn to the right and there is everyone grabbing plates and fighting over who gets the largest piece of bacon. I set down my bag by the front door and then make my way into the kitchen to grab a plate myself. While everyone was grabbing food Henry was already done eating and heading out the door, I look around and panic. I wanted to talk to him before school, dammit!
I put my plate down and rush to the front door, "Henry wait!" I watch him pause under the door frame and I barged right into his broad chest. When I hit him in the chest it is so firm that my face stings after coming off him. He grabs my shoulders and looks down at me, "Are you okay kid? That sounded like it hurt a lot more than it looked." He side smiles at me and I smile back up to him. Our height difference is something for sure, I am five three and he is six two. So I definitely feel like an ant from down here when eh looks at me like this. " Yeah I am okay," I smiles brightly at him, I hope he doesn't think I am too over bearing right now… "Well good, I don't need you being hurt now do we sweetheart?" Sweetheart, did you hear that! he called me SWEETHEART oh my god I think I am going to pass out from the amount of blood that just rushed to my cheeks. Oh my fucking god I am blushing I need to stop immediately before he sees this, ugh this is so embarrassing. He chuckles after I assume he sees the bright ass baboon face I have on. "Wha..what's so funny?.." He chuckled and released my shoulders and turn towards the front door but looked back at me before walking out, "Nothing, just glad to see you being your normal self."
My normal self? what the hell is that supposed to me? I swear men are hard to fucking read like can't your face be a little more open book for us, like give a girl a break why don't ya….