I ran into school, I had some how came late, maybe because I had cried myself to sleep, because I was thinking about everything I wasn't, and if I was to think about everything I was, there wasn't much to say.
I put on my best smile, the one I always wore, at this point it was uniform, I wore it everyday, I smiles at people who frowned at me, I smiled at people who scowled at me, I smiled at everyone, I know people hated me, thought I was ugly, stupid, even my own friends, smiling 'fixed' my fave a little, so I always did that.
I walked into class to find my friends laughing without me, so I joined them, they stopped whatever they were talking about, call me paranoid but they were talking about me, I plastered my uniform smile and joined them, conversation flowed easily after, soon she walked in, I stole a glance and looked away.
I kept trying to stael glances but she kept staring at Bryan, I never really knew what she saw in him, but she saw so much in him, much more than she would ever see in me.
I walked towards the library at recess, I knew she'd be there, just as I placed my hand on the door, Tito came and pulled me away, we were walking together till she saw her real friend and left me in the middle of the hallway for her, and that's when I remembered what I was- a mere substitute.
I walked back to the library, but it was empty and she had left.
I got home that day and picked up a journal my mom had given me, I was going to start writig, now, I always listened to others rant, no one ever listened to me, my voice was constantly shadowed, so now I'd write- I'd write to my journal, the only thing that would.