I froze.
For a full five seconds, my brain simply refused to process the absurdity standing in front of me.
The legendary Shadow Queen—her highness of shadows, nightmares, and probably a dozen ancient prophecies—was standing barefoot on my cracked kitchen tiles, wearing my faded "Gamer for Life" T-shirt, and sipping bubble tea like she owned the place.
And the worst part?
She looked incredible doing it.
"Wait, hold on!" I stammered, waving my hands frantically. "Shadow Queen? Contract? Caretaker? What the hell is this?!"
She tilted her head, her golden hair cascading over one shoulder as she inspected me like I was the world's dumbest pet.
"Hmm… reaction time is slow, mental capacity… questionable." She took another loud, obnoxious sip of her bubble tea. "But at least you're easy on the eyes. I suppose you'll do."
"Excuse me?"
She reached for a pack of my emergency instant noodles and held it up like it was some rare artifact.
"Prepare me this... legendary mortal delicacy."
"You mean—instant noodles?" I blinked. "That's like… the food of broke college students and professional losers—"
Her eyes flashed dangerously. The air around us vibrated, and for a moment, her body flickered—shadows curled around her bare feet, and I swear the temperature dropped ten degrees.
"Are you defying your Queen?"
"N-No! Noodles, coming right up!" I shot towards the stove like a man possessed. Who knew a woman demanding ramen could be so terrifying?
Five minutes later…
She slurped the noodles like she was tasting ambrosia from the gods.
"This... this is divine," she whispered, eyes sparkling.
"You've seriously never had instant noodles before?" I asked cautiously.
Her expression darkened. "During my reign, we conquered empires and razed kingdoms. Not once did anyone offer me this… magnificent treasure. Clearly, I was surrounded by fools."
She leaned back on the rickety kitchen chair, her legs stretched out lazily, one foot lightly tapping against the table leg.
And then, with a sly smirk, she looked straight into my soul.
"Well, Caretaker… time for your first royal mission."
I gulped. "What… mission?"
She crossed her arms, her oversized T-shirt slipping just enough to reveal a scandalous hint of her collarbone.
"This humble abode is lacking snacks. You shall venture forth… and return with an offering worthy of your Queen's midnight cravings!"
I stared blankly. "You're… sending me out for snacks?"
"Indeed." She waved her hand dramatically. "And if you fail… I might just accidentally burn down this little peasant hovel of yours."
She smiled sweetly. My TV crackled ominously behind her without being plugged in.
I was starting to realize something terrifying.
This woman wasn't just some cosplay-obsessed weirdo… she really was the Shadow Queen. And I had just become her full-time snack delivery boy.
To be continued…