The rain had just started again. Perfect.
I stood outside my crappy apartment complex, holding a torn plastic bag and a shopping list that might as well have been a royal decree:
Spicy Instant Noodles (5 packs)
Extra Cheese Potato Chips
Chocolate Pocky (3 boxes, minimum)
One "Mystical Beverage of Happiness" (What the hell is that supposed to mean?!)
Above the list was a note, elegantly scrawled in blood-red ink:
"Failure is not an option, Caretaker. Yours regretfully, The Shadow Queen."
I swear my TV flickered threateningly as she handed me this list.
Ten minutes later, I was standing in the local 24/7 convenience store, drenched, shivering, and debating my life choices in front of the snack aisle.
"Bro, you okay?"
I turned.
A college kid with a skateboard stared at me like I was about to start crying in the chips section. To be fair, he wasn't entirely wrong.
"I'm on a… mission," I muttered under my breath.
He raised an eyebrow. "Midnight gaming session?"
"…Something like that."
I gathered everything as fast as I could, but then—the real boss fight appeared.
At the checkout counter stood a sweet-looking grandma. Her cart? Overflowing with instant noodles.
My noodles. The last five packs of Shadow Spicy Inferno Noodles.
I swallowed. "Ma'am… could I maybe… buy just five of those?"
She looked me dead in the eyes.
"Young man, these are for my mahjong squad's weekly Hellfire Challenge. You wouldn't survive one pack, let alone five."
I was about to beg when—
CRACK!
The convenience store lights flickered. A low, humming sound vibrated through the air.
My phone lit up with a text:
"You have 5 minutes left, Caretaker. Fail me, and I redecorate your living room… with fire."
Oh. God.
Desperate times called for desperate measures.
I pulled out the last weapon in my broke arsenal: puppy eyes and ultimate pathetic energy.
"Please… my Queen demands it," I whispered dramatically.
The grandma narrowed her eyes… then burst out laughing.
"Ah, young love! Fine, fine! Take your silly noodles and go beg for forgiveness properly." She winked and tossed me five packs like I was some tragic soap opera lead.
I dashed out like my life depended on it.
Back home…
I burst through the door, soaked and panting, but victorious.
The Shadow Queen sat elegantly on my tattered couch, flipping through my Manga for Dummies book like it was royal scripture.
Her crimson eyes glanced up, amused.
"You survived," she purred.
I dropped the bags in front of her like a defeated knight offering his final tribute.
She inspected the haul and smiled.
"Very good… Caretaker. You may live another day."
And just like that, I realized something horrifying.
This wasn't just a one-time mission.
I had officially become the personal snack servant of the most dangerous—and laziest—woman in existence.
To be continued…