MARI'S POV
"So what are you going to do about graduating?" Kelly asked me. Her slender fingers fiddling her unkept hair. I looked at her display with disgust written all over my face. It was obvious what I find disapproving about her. The fact she acts like she cares but does not in truth. I just turned my face towards the wall pretending not to have heard her when she asked me what I wanted to do about graduating.
"Mari!" she called softly. It gave me discomfort that she would call me that way.
"What? I'm not in a good mood," I said to her. She scoffed and walked away, taking her ass into the bathroom. I muffled a "better" thinking I had ridden myself of her for the morning. But she suddenly came back to the room, her breath so dense, I could feel it's weight on my head.
"You do know you're such a silly girl, right?"
"what is sex that you can't just give in order to graduate with your mates? Do you want to embarrass your family…"
"Kel!" I yelled cutting her halfway through her words. For me, that was the most she could have ever done to get my reaction.
"What? You can't hear the truth? Is that it?" she sounded like she knew me all too well. Like four years was enough for her to dissect my life before me. She acted like she could tell me what not and what not to do. If she really cared, why didn't she bring this energy when it all started?
"What truth? I should f**k the professor just because I want to graduate?" I asked her. She looked at me deadpan as though that was not what she meant. Then she shook her head before walking like a zombie into the bathroom. I lodge myself back in my bed and ended up hurting my head due to the force with which I landed. If it was someone else that had done it, I'd be furious. But since I was the one who caused it, I'd just take it in without getting mad.
As I lay on my bed, the sound of falling waters rushing through my ears, I thought about what Kelly said. I thought about my life and feared for my future. I felt my heart ripping apart, its ripples dragging my intestine with it and my hope had grown thin.
What is so special about sex that I can't give to the professor? And what's so special about it that he has to withhold my project just for it. Flood of tears slipped out of my eyes as I battled with the emotions inside me.
"I don't want this life," I murmured. But I really didn't pray for this. I wanted to graduate with no stain. I did my best to avoid getting in contact with any professor from my first year to my finals. I did my best to stay away from people and kept little to no friends. If Kelly wasn't my classmate as well as roommate, I doubt we would ever had worked out as friends. We are so opposite that you'll never find us having the same thoughts. Her actions always differs from mine.
"Mari, is that you crying?" Kelly asked. I shook my head, my face roughening against the bed from not wanting to lift it for her to see, nor wanting to say a word. I didn't even notice it when she stepped out of the bathroom, but I could feel her getting close to me. It frightened me. I did not want her to see that this whole issue was actually getting to me. I was already acting too nonchalant in front of everyone to now blow my cover.
But Kelly was getting close and I needed time to clean my face so I could lie to her that I was not just now crying. You could say heaven had my back; just when Kelly placed her hand on my shoulder wanting to take a good look at me, someone knocked on the door. I considered that as a big save. I felt relieved as Kelly decided to abandon me to go get the door. But my relief was only short lived, even ten seconds would boast of longevity over it.
"Asantewaa!" Kelly called out at the sight of her friend at the door. I quickly wiped my face, but I doubt I did a good job hiding the fact that I was crying. So I stood up hurriedly and ran inside the bathroom, almost slipping. I didn't want Asantewaa to start bugging me with questions I didn't have half the heart to answer. She's very inquisitive, but at least not as busy bodied as Kelly. I only hate the fact that she acts like your mother as if it was a thing with Ghanaians.
"What's wrong with you Ma?" Asantewaa's voice breezed through my eardrums as I shut the door after me. I could hear Kelly telling her something about my issue with the professor and how I was crying but refused to show, still I hoped not.
I turned on the shower and stood under with my clothes on. I allowed the water to undress me as it cascades down, kissing my toes. I loved its coolness, and I wanted the homely feeling to never end. But then, I was far from my own self, drawing away from reality as thoughts begin to cloud my vision.
What if I just take my life and end this whole mess? My mates would be doing their final project defence today, and I have nothing to talk about except how scared I am to report a professor who is harassing me. I don't even have a proof to backup my assertions if I were to lay a complaint against Prof. Dan. But it was already too late for that. My name will not be appearing in the list of those graduating. I'd be held back another year, and if I'm unlucky enough, it could get worse. What do I tell my dear mother? How do I explain my situation and not have the whole world blame me for my inactions?
I felt weak to the knees, my body eventually gave in as I slumped to the bathroom floor. There wasn't no loud thud to make anyone notice my sorrow, but without realising it, I had let out an uncontrollable heart wrenching cry.