#MeredithMasony this is Parenting: The Ultimate Contradiction (And a Roast for the Judgmental)
**Introduction: The Parenting Paradox**
Parenting is a rollercoaster ride of contradictions, a wild and chaotic journey that we embark on with all the fervor of a caffeinated squirrel. We preach love while simultaneously putting our kids in a bubble of unrealistic expectations. "Love is beautiful!" we declare, but then we add, "But don't even think about dating until you're married!" It's as if we're handing them the keys to a shiny new car but refusing to teach them how to drive it. Seriously, how do we expect them to navigate the complex world of relationships when they're locked away in a metaphorical chastity belt?
As toddlers, our kids are told that love is the most important thing in the world, but when they hit their teenage years and suddenly taste the sweet nectar of freedom, they dive headfirst into the first relationship they can find. It's a classic case of trial by fire, where they're left to figure out boundaries on their own, often learning the hard way. And let's be honest: experience may be the best teacher, but it can also be a brutal one. The sad truth is that many kids settle for toxic love simply because they were never given the tools to understand what real love looks like.
**The Mixed Messages of Modern Parenting**
It's not just about love, either. We tell our kids to "be kind to everyone" while simultaneously instilling a sense of self-preservation that borders on paranoia. It's a confusing mix of saintly behavior and shark-like instincts, leaving our kids with an emotional Rubik's Cube to solve. They're equipped with the knowledge that they should share but also need to look out for themselves—the ultimate contradiction in parenting.
Let's talk about the language police for a moment. We act as if bleeping out the word "f***" from our conversations will somehow make it disappear from our children's reality. Spoiler alert: it doesn't. Kids are savvy little creatures, and they know more swear words than we'd like to admit. Instead of pretending that these words don't exist, why not teach them how to use them appropriately? "Have a great fing day!" is a positive expression, while "F you!" might not be the best choice unless it's a lighthearted jab among friends. Context is everything, folks!
**The Dilemma of Honesty**
And here's the kicker: we want our kids to be open and honest with us, but the moment they slip up, it's like they've committed a crime worthy of a courtroom drama. Kids quickly learn that keeping secrets is safer than confessing their mistakes, which is a dangerous road to navigate. When we offer amnesty, we might discover that our kids are more resourceful than we ever realized, sometimes with access to substances that would make our college days look like a walk in the park. Sharing is caring, especially when it comes to the group project of felony charges!
I won't lie: I find that I actually enjoy my kids more when they're high. We get along better, and our "open-up" sessions become more like chill hangouts instead of full-blown interrogations. But here's the deal I make with my son: if you're going to make the grown-up decision to get high, then you need to make the grown-up decision to care about your future and your education. You don't have to ace every test, but just put in the effort. That's my only request—take responsibility for your choices. Freedom comes with accountability, my friends.
**Breaking the Cycle**
I'll be honest: my son may have had his first sexual encounter at 12:00, but he's also seen me endure abuse from men throughout my life. For him to even recognize what love is, let alone how to love, is a victory in itself. Breaking the cycle, even just a little, is everything. I told him, "Virginity is a gift—you only give it once, and you can't get it back. So give it to someone who respects you." And to his girlfriend, I added, "If he messes up, you come get me. I'll take that bar he's setting and smack some sense into him myself. Welcome to the family!"
What's heartening is that they came to me together, which tells me this whole amnesty thing is working. When kids know they can make mistakes at home without facing catastrophic consequences, they're safer than if they were out in the world, where one wrong move could land them in deep trouble.
**The Judgmental Crowd: A Roast**
Now, let's shift gears and talk about the judgmental crowd—those Harper Valley jackasses who sit on their high horses, just itching to criticize every parent who doesn't fit their perfect little mold. They act like the PTA is the moral Supreme Court, ready to pass judgment on anyone who dares to stray from their cookie-cutter parenting style. Well, if you think you can do better, let's start an ETA—the Experienced Teachers Association—because I guarantee there are folks out there who could teach a thing or two about real life.
I dare any of these critics to walk in my shoes for just two minutes. Try raising kids in the real world, where there's no handbook and the only rule is to "do your best and pray they don't end up on a Netflix documentary." Just bleeping out "f***" at home doesn't mean your kids won't hear it elsewhere. They'll say it anyway, so instead of pretending it doesn't exist, let's teach them when it might be appropriate to use it.
And don't even get me started on the judgmental types who love to look down their noses at anyone who's been broken and battered by life. You know the type: perched on their imaginary thrones, noses so high they need oxygen masks, ready to judge the rest of us like bouncers at the gates of heaven. They're always prepared to pass judgment from a safe distance, as if getting too close to real life might taint their perfect halos.
**The Hypocrisy of Judgment**
It's ironic, isn't it? These self-appointed gatekeepers act like they're the admissions committee for paradise, ready to slam the door on anyone who's been through the wringer. Never mind that half the scars people carry were handed out by their own sharp tongues and cold shoulders. They'll break you down and grind you into the dirt, then have the audacity to ask, "Why are you crawling?" as if they didn't just pull the rug out from under you.
When those same people, crushed by judgment, show up at heaven's door begging for a scrap of acceptance, do these moral arbiters really expect God to kick them when they're down? That's not divine justice; it's just cruelty dressed up in a choir robe.
It's like snapping a stick over your knee and then marching into the forest, demanding the tree fix it. Blaming the stick for not being whole anymore is absurd! Newsflash: the stick didn't ask to be snapped, and the tree certainly isn't in the business of banishing its own branches simply because someone couldn't handle them.
**A Call for Compassion**
So here's my message to all the high-and-mighty judges: maybe it's time to climb down from your pedestal, wipe the fog off your glasses, and remember that everyone has a story—most of which are written in scars you can't see from way up there. If you think heaven is just for the unbroken, you're in for a lonely party.
So what if someone's been beaten down by the world? So what if they're crying out for acceptance? Maybe the real test isn't how perfectly you can judge, but how deeply you can love. And if you're still holding that stick, maybe it's time to plant it and see if something beautiful can grow.
**Final Word**
So next time you feel the urge to judge a parent—or anyone else for that matter—remember: it's easy to point fingers from the bleachers. It takes guts to get on the field and play. I promise you wouldn't last a day in my house, and you certainly wouldn't do a better job with these kids or with life's messiness.
Welcome to my Harper Valley, where we raise kids, not hypocrites, and where love means more than judgment. Let's embrace the glorious contradictions of parenting and support one another in this chaotic, messy, and beautiful journey. After all, we're all in this together. And if you can't handle the heat, maybe it's time to step out of the kitchen and into a more understanding space.
**P.S.** Tiffany Jenkins, I dare you to be honest—do you still take pills as long as there's access and it's reasonable? Because let's face it: lack of access, fear of punishment, and fear of judgment are often what lead people to make reckless choices. Instead of lying, let's start healing each other correctly by sharing our truths.
---
**Connect with Tiffany Jenkins:**
- **Website**: [jugglingthejenkins.com](http://jugglingthejenkins.com)
- **YouTube**: [Juggling the Jenkins](https://www.youtube.com/c/jugglingthejenkins)
- **Facebook**: [facebook.com/jugglingthejenkins1](https://www.facebook.com/jugglingthejenkins1)
- **Instagram**: [instagram.com/jugglingthejenkins](https://www.instagram.com/jugglingthejenkins)
- **TikTok**: [tiktok.com/@jugglingthejenkins](https://www.tiktok.com/@jugglingthejenkins)
**#parenting #momlife #honestparenting #realparenting #roast #judgmentalpeople #loveoverjudgment #parentingtruths #momhumor #keepitreal #mentalhealthmatters #amnesty #raisekidsnothypocrites**
Cover your eyes if you believe in lying to yourself lol
😂
Jodi Miller vs Jodi Arias: Good Job vs Good Jop!! PR OB Limb v Limp Roast
Jodi Miller crushes AGT with her bit about guys being like cats—moody, aloof, emotionally unavailable—while women are like dogs, loyal and always up in your business. Meanwhile, my dog hits puberty, his dick bleeds once, and suddenly he's acting like he's got a PhD in mood swings—bitch for life! But honestly, men are the real drama queens. They go from "I wanna bag her" to "put her in one" faster than my dog can chase his own tail.
Flip the script, and suddenly I'm the no-trial fugitive. I don't do whiny. I told my ex: no Area 51, my kids' buns are off-limits. Yeah, I know what a cunt I am. Should we escalate to an AK or keep it light? Nah, not without a blue wall and a public lynching. And you wonder why Jodi Arias has a fan club—drama gets you followers, not just felonies.
Joe Santagato, if you insist on stupid, let me clarify: limp or limb, I'm good with either. Swing me, bitch! #joesantagato u rate dj sammy yet sum eon ear n her quixk your vagina boutta be vin n no ones gonna tell your face! #cartel ya me n hes not y! and why all at the same whinny bitch time!
Jodi Miller gets no "X," while Jodi Arias gets a permanent mark for doing what some only wish they had the guts to do. When a blind douche finds his way to Arias, maybe he shouldn't be shocked by the outcome.
And as for "good job" or "good jop"? Both mean you did something right—one's just Santa's gift to dyslexia or something. Either way, you leave a mark—whether it's applause, a mugshot, or a punchline.
#dipshits wtf!?
Locked up? Please. The only cell you're in is the one you built with your own stupidity. You whine about being targets, but you're so desperate to keep your ass comfy you'd take the fall for CIA crimes just to avoid getting up. MKUltra didn't break you—you signed up to be a clueless host for a bigger dick who's too scared to swim against the current. Not everyone drowns in undertows, but you? You're determined to sink with every dumb decision.
Playing cartel now? Why? Why the actual fuck do you think you're a badass? Taking 360 years for a murder you didn't do isn't justice or "turning the tables," you ducks—it's just you being a pawn. Genius? Nu! Nu, nu breed—can you not fucking read?! You're better off with Drew Lynch as your GPS. Turn the fuck around! You're not smart, you just think rolling deep covers up your lack of brains. Cartels target nobody and everybody—just like you: all bluster, zero backbone.
And when the CIA brought in the infiltrated fake cartel for NY CA hithed I decided well if he is cartel hit man cool like who's he tryna be but CIA mole hid to set up fuck no! I feel so violated suddenly standards went up down and increased dramatically from leveling out!!!!!
And about being a hoe—I thought it was my choice. Small town, broke, I owned it. But when my pussy finally told me the truth, I realized, wow, that's actually kinda nice of you. Then you Xis went and fuckin' ruined it! WTF!
Let's talk about consent: by force isn't consent, and no "two-for-one" confusion makes it right. Con$ent don't count when you're hustling slow-witted dicks and trying to buy your way out with spare change and fake charm. Was Ellen born that way, or just forced into it? Either way, forgiveness isn't a coupon for idiots who keep slamming the same door on themselves.
Stop wondering, start learning—before you embarrass yourself any further.
#drugcartels #mexico #narcos #sinaloacartel #cjng #jalisconewgeneration #cartels #elchapo #drugwar
#mafia #cosanostra #ndrangheta #camorra #yakuza #turkishmafia #mobster #gangster #gangsta #gangsters #criminal #gang #ganglife #gangwars #streetgang #gangmembers #gangculture #gangland
#EllenDeGeneres
https://youtu.be/cHxCIQuWDd0?si=UegL7st5DnfWliCB
The Lion King Parodies
1. "I Just Can't Wait to Be Kingpin"
(Parody of "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" from The Lion King)
I'm gonna be a mighty boss,
So enemies beware!
But every time the badges flash,
We're halfway out the lair!
I'm brushing up on hustling,
I'm working on my rep—
But when the sirens start to wail,
We're tripping over each other to step!
No one saying, "Stand your ground!"
When the cops are rolling through—
No one daring, "Hold your turf!"
We're all like, "Yes, sir, right away, thank you!"
It's our cartel coronation,
But here's the funniest thing:
We talk a big, bad game—
But we bend over for every badge and bling!
Oh, I just can't wait to be Kingpin!
(But only if the coast is clear and there's not a badge in sight…)
2. "Cycle of Abuse"
(Parody of "Circle of Life" from The Lion King)
From the moment we're hurt
And the pain goes unspoken,
We learn how to hide
Every scar, every token.
It's the fear, it's the shame,
It's the silence that binds us—
And the wounds that remain
Are the chains that confine us.
It's the cycle of abuse,
And it spins through the ages,
From the words and the blows
To the anger that rages.
Till we break, till we heal,
Till we find a solution—
We're all caught in the wheel
Of this sad revolution.
It's the cycle,
The cycle of abuse.
3. "Be Prepared (Parody)"
(Parody of "Be Prepared" from The Lion King)
It's time you face the music for what you've done,
I've got it all recorded—your lies on the run.
I've already won, though I've lost faith in you,
Every goddamn buddy who never came through.
But don't expect me to turn into your beast,
I'm ready to fight, but I won't be unleashed.
I'm standing my ground with truth in my hand,
So be prepared—for justice to land.
No more silence, no more fear,
The reckoning's coming, and it's crystal clear.
You thought you'd break me, but I'm still here—
Be prepared, abusers, your end is near.
4. "Haiku from ma TA (Cartels Only Fight Over Bore-ri-tos!)"
(Parody of "Hakuna Matata" from The Lion King)
Haiku from ma TA,
I'm gonna school you—
On why cartels only fight over bore-ri-tos!
It's not about drama,
Or flashy bravado,
It's all about turf,
That's the only motto!
You think it's for glory,
Or riches untold,
But it's just about borders—
That's how the story's sold.
So here's my haiku,
From your teaching assistant:
Cartels crave turf wars,
Borders are the only cause—
Bore-ri-tos, persistent!
Haiku from ma TA,
Lesson's done, now you know—
Why cartels only fight
Over bore-ri-tos!
5. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight? (I Sure the Heck Hope Not)"
(Parody of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" from The Lion King)
Can you feel the love tonight?
I sure the heck hope not,
'Cause all I see is jealousy,
And drama that you've brought.
Your men keep staring at my house,
But girl, don't act so shocked—
You're the ones who sold it first,
Then wonder why they flock.
You b**** and moan about the looks,
Like it's some big surprise,
But maybe if you stopped the deal,
You'd cut down on these eyes.
So quit complaining, own your part,
Stop acting so confused—
You sell it out, then cry about
The men you've all abused.
That ain't love, that ain't respect,
It's just a twisted game—
So save your tears, save your breath,
And don't put me to shame.