Being a baby is… weird.
I thought I'd be born into some epic world as a cool overpowered guy — maybe in the middle of a city-destroying fight, or casually lifting mountains while everyone screamed in awe.
Instead, I'm stuck in a tiny house on a hill, living in a crib that smells like mashed fish and wet cloth. Welcome to the Monkey family.
My daily life? Let me paint you a picture.
Step one: wake up because Dragon somehow managed to kick me in the face again.
I swear, future Revolutionary my ass — this guy is a professional blanket thief and a certified face-kicker. Every morning, it's the same: I open my eyes, and there's his dumb, drooling face staring at me.
"Bllrghh."
What kind of threatening rebel leader makes that noise?
Step two: Garp barges into the room like a cannonball with legs.
"WAKE UP, YOU LITTLE MONSTERS!"
He's always yelling. Always. I don't think I've seen this guy enter a room at normal human volume. He lifts both of us like we're a pair of coconuts and starts doing squats or throwing us into the air like some insane strength training routine.
Good thing I'm not a normal baby.
Especially when the moon's out — last night was a half-moon. I felt strong enough to land a decent slap on Garp's cheek when he wasn't paying attention.
He laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.
"GWAHAHA! This one's got spirit!"
Yeah, laugh it up, old man. Wait for the full moon.
Step three: Meals.
Or as I call it: Liquid Fish Hell.
Whatever they're feeding us is questionable at best. Smells like someone tried to mash seafood and regret into a bottle. Dragon loves it though. I've seen him drink mine when I fake sleep. Disgusting little sea goblin.
Step four: Staring contests with random villagers.
For some reason, people love coming to see Garp's kids. I get it — famous Marine, blah blah blah. But do they have to poke my cheeks like I'm a side dish?
One guy even called me "adorable."
Buddy, I'm gonna knock your teeth out when I hit six months.
Step five: Moon gazing.
Best part of my day.
At night, when everyone's asleep, I crawl to the little window near our crib and stare at the sky. The moon talks to me in its own way. I can feel the power flowing in slowly. It's weak now, but one day… one day when it's full and shining bright…