I CAST BACK TO YOUR OWN REALITIES!
For one long second, reality appeared to consider the wording.
Then a marble fountain erupted out of the grass directly beneath Penny.
Penny had just enough time to look down. "Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me."
The bottom dropped out from under him.
He and all three wenches plunged into the fountain with a tremendous splash, sending water over the marble rim and halfway across the remains of Hermione's comparative-cosmology chart. Penny surfaced first, coughing and sputtering, only for one of the women to surface behind him and wrap both arms around his shoulders. Another came up laughing beside him while the third somehow still had hold of his staff.
"Give me that!" Penny lunged for it, missed, and nearly went under again. By the time he resurfaced, the entire fountain had begun to shimmer. His eyes widened as he finally realized what Josh's spell was doing. "Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Gandalf!"
Gandalf's nine fox tails swayed behind him as he raised one hand in dignified farewell. "Penny."
"I'M STILL NOT PUTTING THE PIPEWEED BACK!"
The fountain vanished with a wet pop.
For several seconds, water continued raining onto the grass where it had been.
Josh slowly lowered his wand. "Okay."
Merlin's amusement deepened. "An excellent beginning."
"I didn't pick the fountain."
"No. You merely told reality what you wanted and permitted it to determine the method."
"That's worse."
"Considerably."
A sound like distant thunder rolled across the courtyard before Josh could decide whether he wanted to argue about that. Urban Harry's head snapped toward the third crossover mirror, but nothing had changed inside it. The layered cityscapes remained exactly where they had been.
Then wings beat once overhead.
A man in a tan trench coat appeared ten feet above the grass and dropped the rest of the way with all the ceremony of someone stepping off a curb.
Urban Harry stared at him. "Cas?"
Castiel straightened and looked at Harry before taking in the courtyard around him. His gaze passed over Merlin, lingered briefly on Gandalf's nine fox tails, stopped for a noticeably longer moment on Hunter's detached rocket-powered fist, then finally rose to the glowing declaration overhead.
RESOLVED: HARRY POTTER IS NOT A THOT
The spectral hand waved at him.
Castiel regarded it in silence before turning back to Urban Harry. "Dean said you were missing."
"Yeah."
"He blamed the British."
British Harry's head snapped around. "Excuse me?"
Castiel looked at him, then at the other versions of Harry scattered around the courtyard. "There are more British people than usual."
"That is not evidence."
"No," Castiel agreed. "Dean did not have evidence."
Urban Harry rubbed a hand over his face. "That sounds about right. How long have I been gone?"
"Twenty-three minutes."
Harry lowered his hand. "That's not terrible."
"Sam has constructed a board."
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
"It has photographs."
"Of course it does."
"And string."
Urban Harry sighed. "Let's go."
Castiel reached for his shoulder, only to pause when the spectral hand floated between them and offered him a tiny gavel.
Castiel stared at it.
The hand waggled the gavel invitingly.
"No."
The hand seemed disappointed.
"Cas."
Castiel placed two fingers against Harry's forehead. "Dean also believes a wizard did it."
Dresden opened his mouth.
Urban Harry disappeared with Castiel before he could get a word out.
The third crossover mirror rippled once and collapsed inward, its impossible collection of highways, motels, graveyards and layered supernatural worlds narrowing to a silver line before winking out completely.
Dresden stared at the empty space. "Was that an angel?"
British Harry adjusted his coat. "Apparently."
"You don't seem particularly bothered by that."
"I have learned that when another version of Harry Potter says something is normal where he comes from, the safest response is to accept his definition of normal and move on."
Original Harry gave him a thoughtful look. "That's disturbingly sensible."
"I've had practice."
A telephone rang.
British Harry went very still.
It rang again.
Everyone looked toward the red telephone box that had appeared several yards behind him.
British Harry closed his eyes. "No."
Kenzi leaned around Bo for a better look. "That one's definitely yours."
"Because I'm British?"
"Because you're the only one who looked personally offended when it showed up."
He opened his eyes and glared at the box. "I have excellent reasons to be suspicious of unexplained telephone boxes."
Dresden glanced at the empty space where Urban Harry's mirror had been. "Considering what was moving around inside your London earlier, I think we all do."
The telephone rang a third time. British Harry muttered something about conceptual magic and walked over, opening the door cautiously before picking up the receiver. "Yes?"
Whatever answered caused his expression to tighten.
"No, I haven't been abducted."
A pause.
"Technically."
Another pause.
"No, not aliens."
His eyes flicked toward Merlin.
"Probably."
Original Harry covered his mouth.
British Harry pointed at him while continuing into the receiver. "I can see you."
Harry lost the fight and started laughing.
"No, I don't require extraction. I appear to be in the process of being returned now." British Harry listened for several more seconds, glanced toward Josh, and frowned. "No, I don't know who he is."
Josh raised a hand. "Josh."
British Harry nodded. "Apparently his name is Josh."
The voice on the other end became considerably louder.
British Harry pulled the receiver away from his ear.
Josh blinked. "What did I do?"
"I have absolutely no idea."
The telephone cord suddenly wrapped around British Harry's wrist.
He looked down at it.
"Ah."
The booth doors slammed shut.
For a moment nothing else happened. Then the entire telephone box dropped straight into the ground as though someone had opened a trapdoor beneath it. British Harry's muffled profanity followed it down, the roof disappeared below the grass, and the hole snapped shut without leaving so much as a dent.
His crossover mirror dissolved with it.
Kenzi stared at the empty patch of grass. "Okay, that was kind of classy."
Bo looked at her. "He got eaten by a phone booth."
"British classy."
A truck horn sounded in the distance.
Anime Harry froze.
The amusement disappeared from his face so quickly that Original Harry noticed immediately. "What's wrong?"
Another horn answered, closer.
Anime Harry slowly turned.
A two-lane road now cut directly across the courtyard.
It had not grown out of the ground. There had been no flash of magic or gradual transformation. One moment there had been grass, and the next there was asphalt stretching toward two horizons that had no business existing inside the courtyard.
Headlights appeared in the distance.
Anime Harry stared at them.
"No."
Dresden followed his gaze. "Is that a truck?"
"No."
"It looks like a truck."
"I know what it fucking looks like."
The horn sounded again.
Anime Harry backed away.
Original Harry looked from him to the approaching vehicle. "Why are you afraid of a lorry?"
Anime Harry rounded on him. "Because you don't know what that means where I come from!"
The truck accelerated.
Anime Harry ran.
It accelerated again.
He cut sharply across the grass.
The road bent after him.
Josh's eyebrows climbed.
Anime Harry looked over his shoulder, saw the asphalt curving to follow him and nearly stumbled. "THAT IS NOT HOW ROADS WORK!"
The truck disagreed.
Anime Harry changed direction again. The road smoothly rerouted itself beneath the tires.
Dresden watched with professional fascination. "That's actually impressive."
"FUCK YOU, DRESDEN!"
Anime Harry sprinted past the last crossover mirror, the truck bearing down on him as its horn blared.
"THIS ISN'T EVEN HOW I GOT THERE THE FIRST TIME!"
The truck hit him.
There was no blood, crunch or impact. Anime Harry simply disappeared against the grille in a burst of white light, followed immediately by the truck, the road and the motorcycle he'd brought out of its capsule.
His crossover mirror folded inward and vanished with a cheerful ding.
Nobody spoke for several seconds.
Josh eventually looked at Merlin. "Was that supposed to happen?"
"Your spell specified destination, not transportation."
"Right."
"An important distinction."
"Yeah, I'm getting that."
Merlin's attention remained on the empty space where three crossover mirrors had once stood. "Still, you should consider yourselves fortunate."
Original Harry frowned. "About what?"
"That Gandalf's spell selected those particular crossover realities." Merlin's expression turned unusually sober. "There are considerably more troublesome possibilities. Comic-book cosmologies, for example."
Josh immediately pointed his wand at him. "Stop."
Both remaining Harrys joined him.
"Don't."
"Absolutely not."
Merlin raised his eyebrows.
Original Harry shook his head. "Nobody names anybody."
Mirror Harry nodded firmly. "Nobody describes anybody."
Josh added, "Nobody gives reality enough information to get fucking creative."
For once, Merlin offered no argument. "Agreed."
Dresden looked between them. "Are they really that bad?"
Merlin considered the question for a moment. "Which cosmology?"
Dresden's mouth closed.
"Exactly."
Kenzi raised her hand.
Merlin looked at her. "No."
"But..."
"Anything."
She lowered her hand.
Bo patted her shoulder. "Probably for the best."
"Almost definitely."
The paper in Dresden's coat began to glow.
He felt it immediately and pulled the certificate free, its ridiculous declaration still blazing across the page.
SERIOUSLY. IT WASN'T HIM.
Dresden looked at it.
Then at Josh.
"No."
Josh held up his free hand. "I'm not doing anything."
"You're doing all of this."
"Technically, I already did it."
"That's not better."
A doorway appeared behind Dresden.
He glanced over his shoulder, saw what looked unmistakably like Chicago on the other side and relaxed. "Finally. Something normal."
A massive boot came through the doorway and caught him squarely in the back.
Dresden vanished through the opening with a startled yell, hockey stick, drumstick and coat going with him. The certificate almost made it.
A second, smaller boot shot through and kicked it out of his hand.
"HEY!"
The paper fluttered back into the courtyard.
Dresden caught the edge of the doorway with one hand. "I NEED THAT!"
The boot kicked his fingers loose.
"Karen Murphy is not going to accept some random piece of magic paper saying I wasn't responsible!"
The doorway slammed shut.
The certificate hung in the air for another second before folding itself neatly into a paper airplane and sailing after him. It struck the closed doorway, crumpled, and dropped to the grass.
Josh looked down at it.
SERIOUSLY. IT WASN'T HIM.
He nudged it with his shoe. "I don't think she was going to accept it anyway."
Merlin chuckled.
Across the courtyard, Hunter had finally worked out the pattern.
"Oh, fuck that."
The conceptual judge's bench shuddered beneath his hands as reality began gathering around him. His skillet jerked across the grass, the detached rocket-powered fist spun toward him, and the gavel flared brightly enough to throw shadows across the courtyard.
Hunter raised it overhead.
"I CAST..."
He disappeared.
The gavel vanished after him.
Then the skillet.
The rocket fist fired its boosters and shot through the empty space last.
Josh's Chat flashed almost immediately.
most_interesting_demigod: FUCK YOU
Josh stared at the message.
That was Hunter?
[Yes.]
Another message appeared.
most_interesting_demigod: I FIGURED OUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING YOU ASSHOLE
Josh looked at the empty place where Hunter had been.
Little late.
most_interesting_demigod: FU
Josh snorted.
The last pieces of Hunter's conceptual courtroom disappeared before he could establish appellate jurisdiction from another universe.
For the first time since Josh had entered the courtyard, the place actually felt smaller.
Only the original pair of Potters remained from the mirror experiment. Original Harry stood beneath the still-glowing declaration with Hermione and Ginny beside him, while Mirror Harry had his own Hermione and Ginny near the final surviving mirror. The spectral hand remained overhead, apparently having decided that losing the courtroom did not technically terminate its employment.
Original Harry looked across at his counterpart. "Your universe is still insane."
Mirror Harry smiled. "And yours is still boring."
"I prefer boring."
"You say that now."
"I've been saying it with increasing conviction for the last several hours."
That earned a laugh from Mirror Harry, and the hostility that had colored their earliest exchanges was conspicuously absent. They had spent too long checking one another's claims, finding differences neither could dismiss and similarities neither could escape. Whatever else either man thought about the other's world, neither could call the other careless.
Merlin had been watching them.
"You need not lose this connection."
Both Harrys turned toward him, and Mirror Hermione's attention sharpened almost immediately.
Original Harry was more suspicious. "What connection?"
"The one you have already established." Merlin gestured between the two men and then toward the surviving mirror. "Your realities have touched, recognized one another and maintained a stable conceptual relationship for a considerable period. Reproducing that connection would be substantially easier than creating another from nothing."
Mirror Harry glanced toward the silver surface. "Recast the mirror?"
"You could. It would be inelegant."
Gandalf's eyebrows rose at that, though he said nothing.
Merlin smiled faintly. "Both of your worlds possess a Mirror of Erised."
Original Harry's suspicion increased. "Yes."
"And both possess what you call the Veil."
"The Death Portal," Harry corrected.
Merlin inclined his head. "As you wish. Place the Mirror of Erised near the Death Portal and align their functions correctly. The Mirror provides a means by which desire and destination may be given form. The Portal is already a threshold. Together, properly synchronized, they could provide a natural point of passage between your cosmologies."
Neither Harry answered immediately.
Mirror Harry finally looked at his counterpart. "He's suggesting we put the Mirror of Erised next to the Death Portal."
"Yes."
"And use them as an interdimensional travel hub."
"Yes."
Original Harry looked at Merlin. "You understand why we're both staring at you like you're insane?"
"Perfectly."
"And?"
"I remain correct."
That was difficult to argue with when reality had spent the last several hours behaving the way it had.
Original Hermione was already reaching for parchment.
Mirror Hermione had beaten her to it.
Both Harrys noticed.
"No."
Neither Hermione stopped writing.
Merlin's amusement returned. "There is another advantage. Once properly established, the connection need not remain limited to your two realities."
Original Harry's head snapped back toward him. "Every Harry Potter?"
"No."
The speed of the answer caught both men off guard.
Merlin's expression became more thoughtful. "A world containing Harry Potter is not necessarily a world about Harry Potter. Presence is insufficient. In some realities you stand at the center of events. In others, you are peripheral. In still others, you may live your entire life without becoming particularly important to the greater course of your Wizarding World."
Mirror Harry understood first. "Main Character."
Merlin lifted both hands and crooked two fingers on each. "Quote, unquote."
Original Harry grimaced. "I hate that I understand exactly what you mean."
"The distinction is useful. The connection could be synchronized to realities in which Harry Potter occupies that conceptual role. Not every world in which someone named Harry Potter happens to exist."
Original Harry was quiet for a moment before something almost hopeful entered his expression. "Neville."
Merlin nodded. "Certainly. In some."
Harry smiled.
Mirror Harry did too. "Yeah. I can see that."
"There are others."
Both smiles faded.
The two Potters looked at Merlin.
Original Harry asked, "Who?"
Merlin smiled.
Mirror Harry narrowed his eyes. "How many?"
"More than Neville."
"That's not an answer."
"It is the answer you are receiving."
Original Harry folded his arms. "People we'd know?"
"Some."
"People we wouldn't?"
"Certainly."
The two Harrys exchanged a look. There was something unexpectedly peaceful in the idea that the Wizarding World did not require Harry Potter to stand at its center every single time. Somewhere Neville had been the one around whom history bent. Somewhere Harry might have been allowed to remain simply Harry.
The fact that Merlin clearly knew there were others and refused to identify them introduced an entirely different emotion.
Mirror Harry rubbed his jaw. "I'm not sure whether that's comforting or deeply concerning."
Original Harry considered it. "Both."
"Yeah."
"Definitely both."
Merlin looked entirely too pleased with himself.
Mirror Harry glanced toward the final crossover mirror, then back to Merlin. "If we actually build this, how do we keep it from opening onto every reality where I qualify?"
"By not building it badly."
Original Harry stared at him. "Helpful."
"I thought so."
Merlin let them suffer that answer for a moment before relenting. "The connection would require agreement from both sides. Think of each reality as establishing its own point upon a larger network. Your first connection would be to one another because that path already exists. Additional worlds could join later, provided they possess compatible anchors and someone capable of establishing them."
That eased some of the concern from both Harrys. Mirror Hermione stopped writing long enough to ask several questions about synchronization, while her counterpart immediately began arguing that any connection needed to default closed rather than open. The resulting discussion became technical enough that Josh caught perhaps two thirds of it, though the important part was obvious. Nobody was suggesting they leave a permanent hole between universes for anything sufficiently motivated to crawl through.
Original Harry eventually looked across at his counterpart. "Closed unless deliberately opened from both sides?"
"Absolutely."
"Identity verification?"
"Obviously."
"No accepting somebody just because they look like one of us."
Mirror Harry gave him a flat look. "After today?"
"Fair."
"And we check everything."
That earned a small smile. "Every time."
The two Hermiones had apparently reached the same conclusion several minutes earlier and were now comparing notes through the mirror. Original Ginny leaned over her Harry's shoulder, read enough to understand what they were doing, then looked across at her counterpart.
"Do you think either of them realizes Hermione is going to build this whether they agree or not?"
Mirror Ginny considered the two rapidly filling sheets of parchment. "No."
"I heard that," both Hermiones said.
"So did we," both Ginnys answered.
For the first time, the two Harrys laughed together without somebody else's insanity being the cause.
Gandalf's remaining mirror shimmered.
The laughter faded naturally as Mirror Harry glanced behind him. The silver surface had begun to ripple, its edges losing definition now that the spell which had called him here was finally winding down. Mirror Hermione gathered her notes, while Mirror Ginny moved closer to her husband.
Original Harry stepped forward and offered his hand. "If this works, we'll probably see each other again."
Mirror Harry took it. "If Hermione gets involved, we'll probably have scheduled meetings by Tuesday."
"Wednesday," Original Hermione corrected. "We're not being irresponsible."
Mirror Hermione nodded. "Wednesday."
Original Harry closed his eyes briefly. "Of course."
Mirror Harry grinned. "See you Wednesday, then."
"Apparently."
They released hands. Mirror Harry stepped backward with Hermione and Ginny, and the three of them crossed the silver threshold together. The surface held for another heartbeat, long enough for the two Hermiones to exchange one final look that promised an alarming amount of correspondence, then Gandalf's Crossover Mirror folded into a single line of silver and disappeared.
The courtyard became noticeably quieter.
Original Harry watched the place where his counterpart had vanished, and some of the tension he'd carried since being dragged into this mess seemed to leave his shoulders. Ginny slipped her hand into his while Hermione tucked away the notes she'd accumulated over the course of what had become the strangest comparative research session of her life.
Then Harry looked around.
Josh watched him do it.
Harry looked at Merlin.
Then at Gandalf.
Then at Bo and Kenzi.
Then at Josh.
His brow furrowed.
"Why am I still here?"
Josh blinked. "Good question."
The spectral hand descended from above and tapped Harry on the shoulder.
Harry's eyes closed.
"No."
The hand tapped him again.
"I know you're there."
It pointed upward.
Harry did not look.
Ginny did.
"Oh."
Harry opened one eye. "What?"
She pointed.
The glowing proposition still hung over the courtyard.
RESOLVED: HARRY POTTER IS NOT A THOT
Harry stared at it for several seconds.
"That says resolved."
The spectral hand wagged one finger.
"It literally says resolved."
Another wag.
Hermione looked more closely. "Technically, it says the proposition was resolved. That doesn't necessarily mean the magic accepted the resolution as sufficient to conclude the original summoning."
Harry slowly turned toward her. "Whose side are you on?"
"Yours."
"Could've fooled me."
Josh looked at Merlin. "So my spell can't send him home?"
"Oh, I suspect it can." Merlin regarded Harry with renewed interest. "It simply appears to be encountering an unresolved condition attached to the magic that brought him here."
Harry pointed at the declaration. "Resolved."
"Insufficiently, apparently."
"Then what does it want?"
The spectral hand produced a tiny pair of spectacles, put them on despite possessing neither eyes nor ears, and began rifling through a stack of papers that had not existed a moment earlier.
Harry stared at it.
Kenzi leaned toward Bo. "I missed that little guy."
"You tried to bite him."
"He was being judgmental."
The hand found the page it wanted and held it up.
PROPOSITION: HARRY POTTER IS A THOT
Beneath it appeared:
ARGUMENTS HEARD
CHARACTER REFERENCES HEARD
COMPARATIVE EVIDENCE HEARD
VERDICT: NOT A THOT
Harry pointed emphatically at the last line. "There!"
A final line wrote itself underneath.
DISPOSITION: PENDING
Harry's hand remained in the air.
"What the fuck does that mean?"
Merlin laughed.
Harry rounded on him. "You know."
"I have a suspicion."
"Then share with the class."
Merlin's amusement remained, but his attention had sharpened. He studied Harry in a way that made the younger wizard straighten unconsciously. "The magic did more than ask a question about your behavior. You answered it by establishing who you are, repeatedly, under challenge, before witnesses from realities operating under substantially different rules. The proposition has its verdict. It appears the summoning itself has not decided what to do with the person it evaluated."
Harry stared at him. "Send me home seems fairly obvious."
"Usually."
"Usually?"
Merlin smiled.
Harry immediately pointed at him. "No."
"I have not yet proposed anything."
"You were about to."
"I was."
"No."
"You might at least hear the offer."
Ginny's expression became interested. Hermione's became considerably more so.
Harry noticed both.
"Traitors."
"I haven't said anything," Ginny replied.
"You've got the face."
"What face?"
"The 'Harry is about to get volunteered for something insane and I want to see where this goes' face."
Ginny smiled. "I have a face for that?"
"You've had it for years."
Merlin waited until Harry looked back at him. "Become my student."
The courtyard went quiet.
Harry blinked. "What?"
"My student."
"I heard the words. I was hoping they'd become less ridiculous the second time."
"They did not."
"No."
Merlin's eyebrows rose. "You haven't asked what I would teach you."
"I'm standing in a courtyard with a spectral prosecutor trying to determine whether I'm sufficiently not-a-thot to go home. Gandalf has nine fox tails. A truck just hunted another version of me across a road that could turn corners. I watched a man attempt to use a magical court order against reality itself. I am currently exercising judgment."
Gandalf's beard shifted with the beginnings of a smile. "A rare quality in a wizard."
Harry looked at him. "You are not helping."
"I did not intend to."
Merlin chuckled, but when he spoke again the humor had receded. "You are cautious without being closed-minded. You demanded evidence when confronted with claims that contradicted your experience, yet when evidence was provided, you changed your conclusions rather than defending them out of pride. You recognized that another reality might operate by rules unlike your own without deciding those rules must therefore be foolish. Those qualities are more valuable to a teacher than raw power."
Harry's expression changed slightly.
The joke had stopped being entirely a joke.
Hermione noticed too. So did Ginny.
Harry glanced between the two ancient wizards. "I'm already a wizard."
Gandalf's eyes twinkled. "So you keep saying."
Harry stared at him.
Gandalf let the silence stretch just long enough.
"Yet there is always more to learn."
That landed differently.
Harry looked back at Merlin. "Would becoming your student get me sent home?"
"No."
"Good."
Merlin seemed mildly surprised. "Good?"
"If you'd said yes, I would've assumed this was magical coercion dressed up as an offer."
For a moment Merlin simply regarded him.
Then he smiled.
"Excellent."
Harry groaned. "I walked into that."
"Completely."
The spectral hand scratched something onto its paper.
Harry immediately leaned sideways, trying to read it. "What are you writing?"
The hand covered the page.
"Oi."
It turned away.
"I am being evaluated by a floating hand with no face."
Kenzi nodded sympathetically. "It's a dick."
The hand gave her the finger.
"See?"
Bo laughed, and even Ginny failed to hide hers.
Harry rubbed at his forehead. "All right. Merlin. I'm not agreeing to anything permanent, I'm not swearing anything, I'm not signing anything, I'm not giving you my Name with a capital letter, and I'm definitely not accepting mysterious magical objects."
Dresden would have been proud.
Merlin inclined his head. "Reasonable."
"But if you can establish a way to contact me after I get home, I'll hear you out."
Hermione looked at him.
Harry caught it. "Hear him out."
"I didn't say anything."
"You've got a face too."
Ginny snorted.
Merlin extended one hand, palm upward. No light appeared. No sigil burned into the air. Nothing tried to crawl into Harry's soul or declare him the heir to seventeen forgotten kingdoms.
"A conversation, then."
Harry eyed the hand.
Then shook it.
"A conversation."
The proposition overhead flashed.
Everyone looked up.
VERDICT: NOT A THOT
DISPOSITION: STUDENT CANDIDATE
Harry's head snapped toward Merlin. "I did not agree to that."
"You agreed to discuss it."
"Candidate implies..."
The spectral hand stamped the page.
CANDIDATE DECLINED TO COMMIT
A second stamp landed beneath it.
SENSIBLE
Harry stopped.
He looked at the hand.
The hand gave him a thumbs-up.
"Okay. I hate you slightly less."
The hand wiped an imaginary tear from beneath its nonexistent eye.
The entire proposition began to glow.
Hermione moved closer to Harry. Ginny tightened her hand around his, and the three of them were outlined in silver as Josh's original spell finally found a clear path through whatever conceptual mess had been holding them in place.
Harry looked at Merlin. "How are you going to contact me?"
Merlin smiled.
Harry sighed. "Right. Stupid question."
"Not stupid. Merely premature."
"That's somehow more annoying."
Gandalf stepped forward, and for the first time since Harry had met him, there was no exaggerated swagger in the movement. He inclined his head to Harry with simple dignity.
"Farewell, Harry Potter."
Harry returned the gesture.
"Farewell, Gandalf."
His eyes moved to Josh. They had barely spoken, and Harry seemed to recognize that there wasn't enough between them to manufacture some grand goodbye.
"Josh."
"Harry."
Harry glanced at Bo and Kenzi.
Kenzi waved enthusiastically. "Try not to become a thot!"
Harry disappeared before he could answer.
Hermione and Ginny went with him.
The spectral hand immediately stamped its final document.
CASE CLOSED
It tossed the papers into the air.
They exploded into confetti.
The hand gave everyone one last wave and vanished.
For several seconds, nobody spoke.
Then the last of the conceptual courtroom peeled away with it. The remaining lecterns faded. The glowing proposition dissolved letter by letter. Strange bits of summoned scenery that had survived every previous departure finally remembered they had no reason to exist and winked out one after another until the courtyard was, at last, merely a courtyard.
Josh looked around.
Merlin remained.
Gandalf remained.
Bo remained.
Kenzi remained.
Josh frowned.
He lifted his wand slightly and looked at Bo and Kenzi. "You two were included."
"We know," Bo said.
Kenzi spread her arms. "Still devastatingly present."
Merlin's eyes shifted toward Josh.
Then the world moved.
There was no fountain, truck, telephone box or enormous boot this time. Space simply folded around Bo and Kenzi, taking Josh with them before he could swear.
The courtyard disappeared.
For an instant there was nothing.
Then Josh's boots hit the floor of the Jump Station.
Bo landed neatly beside him.
Kenzi did not.
She stumbled forward, caught herself on Josh's arm, looked around at the Station and immediately brightened.
"Oh, good. Home."
Josh stopped.
He looked at her.
Then at Bo.
Then slowly back at Kenzi.
"Home?"
Kenzi's smile faltered. "Was that the wrong word?"
Before Josh could answer, another presence settled into the Station behind them.
Gandalf had arrived without spectacle.
A moment later Merlin stepped into existence beside him.
Josh stared at both ancient wizards.
Then he looked upward.
Space folded around Bo and Kenzi, taking them cleanly out of the courtyard.
Josh felt the spell catch him a heartbeat later.
The courtyard disappeared.
His boots hit the floor of the Jump Station.
Bo appeared beside him, landing neatly. Kenzi stumbled half a step, caught herself against Josh's arm, then looked around at the familiar Station.
"Well," she said. "That was fucking weird."
"You're telling me."
Gandalf arrived a moment later.
There was no flash of light or grand declaration this time. One instant the space behind them was empty, and the next the old wizard stood there, staff in hand, nine fox tails still trailing behind him.
Merlin followed.
Josh looked from Gandalf to Merlin.
Something about the sight bothered him. It took another second before his eyes settled on the nine enormous fox tails still swaying behind Gandalf, apparently having survived not only the end of the battle but the trip to the Jump Station. Bo seemed to reach the same conclusion at almost the same moment, her gaze drifting behind the old wizard before one eyebrow climbed. Kenzi was considerably less subtle. She leaned sideways, openly counted the tails, then looked back at Gandalf with an expression that asked a question she apparently couldn't decide how to phrase.
Gandalf endured the collective scrutiny for several seconds before glancing behind himself. "Oh. Yes."
He wiggled his nose.
The nine tails disappeared without a flash, a spell, or so much as a puff of smoke. One moment Gandalf possessed enough fox to supply several forests, and the next he was simply Gandalf again, grey robes, pointed hat, staff, beard and all.
Kenzi stared at the empty space behind him. "You could do that?"
"For some time, yes." Gandalf calmly adjusted his robes as though removing nine magically acquired tails with a twitch of his nose required no further explanation. When Kenzi's stare only intensified, his expression softened into something suspiciously close to amusement. "I was enjoying myself."
Bo laughed, while Kenzi slowly nodded as though Gandalf had just answered a question about himself far more important than the one she'd actually asked. "Okay. Yeah. I can respect that."
Gandalf inclined his head, then reached into his robes and stopped. His fingers remained inside an empty pocket for a moment before his expression flattened.
Merlin noticed immediately. "Something missing?"
"Penny."
That was apparently explanation enough. Gandalf withdrew his hand, gave his nose another small wiggle, and reached into the same pocket again. This time he produced his pipe and a familiar pouch of pipeweed. He opened the pouch, inspected its contents with considerably more care than he'd given the disappearance of nine fox tails, then nodded in satisfaction and tucked it safely away.
Kenzi blinked. "Hold up. Penny erased all of that from existence."
"He did."
"And you just brought it back."
Gandalf settled his pipe comfortably between his teeth. "I did."
Josh looked at Merlin, but Merlin appeared entirely unsurprised. Bo was studying Gandalf with renewed interest, while Kenzi had reached the inevitable conclusion and pointed at him accusingly.
"You waited until Penny left."
Gandalf's eyes twinkled above the stem of his pipe.
"I did."
Kenzi held the accusatory point for another second before lowering her hand. "You know what? Respect. That's petty as hell, but respect."
Bo laughed beside her, and even Merlin's mouth twitched. Gandalf accepted the judgment with a dignified nod before taking a slow draw from his restored pipe.
Gandalf accepted the judgment with a dignified nod before taking a slow draw from his restored pipe.
Josh watched the smoke curl upward, then looked from Gandalf to Bo and Kenzi before settling on Merlin. "All right. I came in at the end. What exactly happened before you dragged me into this?"
Merlin considered him for a moment. "Do you remember those videos of cartoon wizards shouting, 'I CAST TESTICULAR TORSION!'?"
Josh stared at him.
"Yes."
Merlin gestured toward Bo and Kenzi.
"Oh."
"Quite."
Josh nodded slowly. "All right. That explains enough."
Kenzi looked almost offended. "That's it? You're not even gonna ask?"
"Nope."
Bo laughed. "Smart man."
"Now," Josh said, turning back to Merlin, "I am going to bed."
Merlin raised one finger. "Before you do."
Josh stopped.
"No."
Bo laughed.
Merlin ignored her. "There is one matter remaining."
Josh looked at him. "Of course there is."
"This one is considerably less troublesome."
"That is exactly what someone says before making something my problem."
Gandalf chuckled around the stem of his pipe.
Merlin gestured toward Bo and Kenzi. "They have exceeded the limits of what their current instruction was intended to prepare them for."
Kenzi's eyebrows rose. "Is that teacher-speak for we did awesome?"
"It is teacher-speak for you require more training."
Her expression fell. "Knew there was a catch."
Bo smiled, but Josh caught the shift in her attention. She was listening now.
Merlin continued, "What happened today was absurd, but neither of them froze when confronted with magic behaving outside anything they had been taught to expect. They experimented, adapted and survived the consequences of doing so."
"Some of the consequences were fun," Kenzi pointed out.
"That," Merlin said, "is part of the concern."
Josh snorted.
Bo glanced toward him. "You gave us the knowledge. Merlin's been teaching us how to actually use it. Today we found something neither covered."
"Apparently."
"And went a little overboard."
Josh looked at her.
Bo reconsidered. "A lot overboard."
"Better."
Merlin smiled. "Which means their education continues."
Kenzi groaned. "Homework. We caused an interdimensional magical disaster and somehow got homework."
"Congratulations," Josh said. "You're students."
"Rude."
"Accurate."
Gandalf removed his pipe from his mouth. "And perhaps, on the next occasion, someone might remember that discovering a new manner of altering reality does not oblige one to immediately determine how far it can be pushed."
Kenzi looked at him. "You had nine fox tails because you were enjoying yourself."
Gandalf returned the pipe to his mouth.
"I said perhaps."
Bo laughed again, and Josh shook his head before turning toward Merlin. "Anything else?"
Merlin considered him.
Josh pointed at him. "Choose wisely."
"No."
"Good."
This time, when Josh turned toward the part of the Station that would take him back to Hogwarts, nobody stopped him.