"What do you think that Deadpool outside did wrong? Why was he caught by a bunch of Time Guards?" Hell Deadpool asked Logan, who stood off to the side with a righteous expression.
After all, the way these soldiers had appeared wasn't normal. Ordinary people don't just materialize out of thin air. What is this, Now You See Me?
"He must've pissed someone off by desecrating another corpse of mine," Logan muttered. "Damn it. Isn't this world's version of Wolverine supposed to be a big deal? How did he end up buried in a remote mountain like this? No one even bothered to buy him a proper grave."
There was a hint of bitterness in Logan's voice. He'd wandered most of his life and didn't even have a home in death. Was this what his fate would be?
No. That shouldn't happen. Alex Ray, the Lord of Hell's Kitchen, wasn't a stingy guy. His arrangements were always proper. And honestly, Logan didn't believe there was anyone in their universe capable of wiping out all the mutants. Things shouldn't end in such tragedy.
He and Hell Deadpool had crossed through multiple universes by now. In nearly every one, the mutants had suffered terrible fates—massacres, exterminations, oblivion. It only made Professor X's decision to align with Hell's Kitchen look all the more correct.
Now, silver-armored Time Guards moved with inhuman precision, marching forward like mechanical titans. They steadily closed in, surrounding Wade Wilson—the Merc with a Mouth—who was slouched beneath a thick tree trunk. Their glowing visors betrayed no emotion, only a cold, absolute certainty that the arrest was non-negotiable.
"Wait a sec!" Wade's voice rang out—cynical, sharp, but also desperate. He raised one gloved hand, trying to halt the approaching storm.
"I'm warning you—stay back! I've got backup!" Wade shouted, his tone teetering between comedy and panic. He clutched Wolverine's skull in front of him like a makeshift talisman, hoping it would buy him time. But he knew it was all a bluff. There was no backup.
His words drifted through the falling snow, barely audible to the two figures hidden behind a pine tree nearby—Hell Deadpool and Logan. Their eyes met, reflecting mutual confusion.
"Did he spot us?" Hell Deadpool whispered, narrowing his eyes.
"Should we help him?"
"Tch. I just don't want this idiot defiling my corpse again. And I sure as hell don't want someone else doing it either."
"So we wait?" Hell Deadpool offered.
"Yeah. A bit longer."
They reached a silent agreement: observe, then act.
Then the lead Time Guard—a towering figure with a helmet shaped like a hawk's beak—stepped forward and bellowed, "Wade Winston Wilson! You are under arrest by order of the Time Variance Authority! You've committed timeline atrocities of the highest order. Surrender now and we might show leniency!"
Wade didn't react at first. Half-lying in the snow, he wore a familiar crooked smile. He plucked a bone from the skull he held—Logan's—and sniffed it dramatically.
"Great," he muttered. "I got caught by background characters. This is just humiliating." He rubbed his temple and sighed. A flicker of defiance passed through his eyes.
"Drop your weapons! Final warning!" the Time Guard thundered again, voice booming with raw authority.
But Wade just grinned wider.
"I promise not to use my weapon," he said loudly, "but I'm also not giving it up."
(Humans have 206 bones. You know what that means. Wolverine bones = highly portable murder tools.)
Without warning, Wade spun backward off the ground, launching into a clean, theatrical 360-degree flip using Wolverine's skull as leverage. He landed perfectly in the snow. It was ridiculous. It was Deadpool.
The Time Guards tensed, weapons drawn. Energy rifles powered up with a whine, lasers humming with anticipation. The air crackled.
Right as battle was about to erupt—
"Wait... Do you hear music?" Deadpool asked aloud. "Like actual background music? Something dramatic? Catchy?"
He tilted his head, confused but intrigued. His body, inexplicably, wanted to move—groove even. Something about the rhythm clicked deep in his bones.
Not far off, Logan's fury hit boiling point. Watching Wade toy with what remained of his alternate self ignited a rage unlike any other. His eyes burned red. With a roar, he extended his claws—adamantium blades glinting wickedly—and charged.
"This bastard has no respect for the dead!" he growled.
Every step pounded with the weight of vengeance.
Hell Deadpool smirked, amused by the chaos. "Heh. This is getting good." Without hesitation, he followed Logan into the fray, spring in his step, enjoying the show like a kid chasing fireworks.
Their sudden entrance was like meteorites slamming into the battlefield. Everything stopped. The Time Guards froze, recalibrating their tactics. The air thickened with tension.
"Shit, more timeline variants!" one Time Guard shouted. Their formation shifted, weapons now trained on the newcomers.
Beams of red and blue light surged across the snow. Explosions bloomed like violent flowers.
"Wait—is that another Logan?! And another me?! Thank God, we're saved!" Wade shouted gleefully.
He dropped the Logan skull like a sack of potatoes and bolted toward the new arrivals, arms outstretched for a hug.
"BROTHERRRR—!"
But Wolverine didn't come to hug.
Two claws pierced straight into Deadpool's chest.
Blood spurted from the wound, hot and arterial, splashing across the snowy ground and painting Wolverine's face crimson.
"You desecrated me, you little freak," Wolverine snarled. "Go give this corpse a proper burial. Or I'll bury you with it."
He yanked the claws free, stepped past the crumpled Deadpool, and threw himself into the firefight with lethal grace. Blades sliced through Time Guards like razors through paper.
Wolverine moved like death incarnate.
Behind him, Hell Deadpool sauntered over to the fallen Wade, chuckling.
"Damn, you look like hell. Good thing you don't die easy."
He crouched down and poked Wade with one finger.
"Also—seriously, did you hear that music? I swear I heard music."
Wade groaned from the ground, coughing blood.
"I did. I did hear it..."
"Awesome," Hell Deadpool said. "Then allow me to dance..."
He stood, twirled on one foot, and struck a pose amid the chaos, laughing as energy blasts screamed overhead.
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Bonus Chapter - 150 Power Stones
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