"This sexy and beautiful lady, may I know your name? I'm Wade Johnson," said the Deadpool from Hell's Kitchen, keeping one eye on her twin pistols, ready for anything.
Despite his casual flirtation, this version of Deadpool was no ordinary Merc with a Mouth. The Hell's Kitchen Deadpool was far stronger than the average variant—powerful enough to take on everyone present, alone, if he really wanted to.
But why waste the opportunity on a fight… when he could flirt?
The female Deadpool didn't seem remotely interested in entertaining his antics. With a glare, she opened fire with twin pistols, shooting at him relentlessly.
It was utterly ineffective. Her firepower paled in comparison to the Deadpool from Hell's Kitchen.
He dodged easily, and in between the gunfire, he somehow found time to occasionally hug her or even sneak a whiff of her golden hair.
"Ma'am, I've fallen in love with you."
"Look, I'd die for you… but I literally can't!"
"I don't own a house, but I've got a car. My brother owns property, so if we get married, I swear I'll buy you a place! You know how expensive federal property taxes are?!"
"Do you see my sincerity? For you, I'm even willing to cut back on strip club visits and bar nights."
"I'll limit it to just five nights a week!"
Right after he blurted that out, Wade leaned in during her moment of stunned silence and planted a kiss on her cheek. The move, though entirely inappropriate, was both a bold declaration of admiration and a comedic release of pent-up romantic frustration.
The crowd watching the fight was frozen in stunned silence.
No one had ever seen a battle like this—absurd, romantic, and somehow… weirdly heartfelt. It looked more like a chaotic courtship ritual than a life-or-death duel.
(Damn it! Let her go! The actress playing her is my wife in real life! If that's the female Deadpool, I swear, I'll kill you, author! P.S. The actress portraying female Deadpool is married to the main character actor in real life.)
The female Deadpool—real name Wanda Wilson from Earth-3010—was livid.
She, too, had regenerative abilities and a disfigured face beneath the mask, thanks to her unstable healing factor. Despite being a woman, she was just as crass, unhinged, and wild as any other Deadpool variant.
She knew all too well that Deadpools weren't exactly prime romantic material. Most of them were chaotic, clingy, and facially… unfortunate.
And she definitely wasn't into this one's advances.
Several of the Deadpool variants wanted to jump in and defend their "big sister" from the unwanted attention, but they were unable to.
Because at that moment, Logan and the Deadpool from the main universe were tearing through the battlefield.
The street turned into a storm of claws and katanas. Logan moved like lightning, his adamantium blades cutting cleanly through waves of mutant Deadpools. Every motion was efficient and lethal, knocking enemies down one after another.
Deadpool fought beside him in perfect sync, matching Logan's violence with humor and unpredictability. Their coordination was flawless—like two dancers in a macabre ballet of blood and steel.
Each confrontation ended in the fall of another opponent, showcasing their overwhelming strength.
Just as the two began to believe the battle was winding down, something unexpected shattered their illusion of victory.
A baby Deadpool sat at the edge of the battlefield. He raised his tiny hand and pointed at them with a baby-toothed smile. Innocent. Unnerving.
Logan and Deadpool locked eyes.
An ominous thought settled over them.
What if all these Deadpools—every last one of them—had the same regenerative immortality as him?
The thought spread through their minds like wildfire.
And then… crack.
Bone-grinding sounds echoed behind them.
They turned to see the previously downed Deadpool variants rising—bodies twisted, limbs jerking like broken puppets. Their eyes were open. Their wounds healed.
It was like watching the dead come back to life… zombified clowns with swords.
The sound of bones grinding, joints twisting, and tendons snapping back into place was like the whisper of death itself.
"F***!" main universe Deadpool cursed. "We're screwed."
Just like him, they couldn't be killed.
And time was running out—soon, the Time Crusher would activate, and his entire timeline would be erased.
"You go," Logan growled quietly. "Leave this to me."
Before Deadpool could respond, the army suddenly froze.
"STOOOOOOP!!!"
A chubby Deadpool riding a squeaky bicycle came racing toward them. He never made it off the bike.
BOOM!
Two figures fell from the sky, crashing into him. The bike exploded into scrap, and the fat Deadpool lay twitching under a cloud of dust and debris.
Then a roar erupted from the crowd of Deadpools.
Cheers that shook the air. Screams that cracked the sky.
"Oh my God! It's Peter!"
"OMG—SPIDER-MAN!!! AND THERE'S TWO OF THEM!"
Two Spider-Men descended dramatically—Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man and Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man.
"Why are there so many Deadpools here?" Tobey asked, confused.
"This many Deadpools is way scarier than our Spider-Man variants," Garfield added.
They had arrived following direct instructions from Alex Ray.
"Wait, you all know Peter?" main universe Deadpool asked.
"Of course! There's a Peter next to every Deadpool," one variant replied as if it were the most obvious truth in the world.
"Yeah! Deadpool and Peter are eternal bros!"
"Then why is my Peter a fat guy without powers?! Damn copyright laws! The movie studio won't even buy the rights to tights and wall-crawling. I want a Spider-Man team-up too!"
Logan grabbed Deadpool's arm and started dragging him toward the subway station.
With Spider-Men holding off the Deadpool swarm, there was no need to linger.
Hell's Kitchen Deadpool had also stopped harassing Wanda Wilson. The two now sat side by side on the pavement.
"So… how'd you end up in the Void?" he asked.
"Were Deadpools the only ones there?"
At the question, Wanda's body tensed. A tremor ran through her like a cold wind. It wasn't just fear—it was dread. Deep-rooted terror.
"We Deadpools fled to the Void to escape something."
"A demon."
"A killing demon."
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Bonus Chapter - 150 Power Stones
2nd Bonus Chapter - 300 Power Stones
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