The Common Sense Condiment—Major Mustard, Chapter Six:
"Clean Cuts and Dirty Deeds—The Game Show Shuffle"
Welcome to The Game Show Shuffle!
Step right up! Today's episode is brought to you by the letter "S"—for Spotless, Scandalous, and Seriously, Who Let Steve Harvey Host Everything?
Picture this:
You're stuck in a living room with a remote, a questionable snack, and the unholy trinity of TV hosts—Mr. Clean, Steve Harvey, and Dirty Steve Wilkos. It's Family Feud meets Crime Scene Cleanup, and the only thing more unpredictable than the answers is Steve Harvey's mustache.
Meet the Hosts:
Mr. Clean:
He's bald, he's bold, and he can erase anything—except your browser history after a Wilkos binge.
Superpower: Making you feel guilty for every crumb on your floor.
Steve Harvey:
He's got the suit, the 'stache, and a face that says, "Did you really just answer that on national TV?"
Superpower: Turning awkward silence into Emmy moments.
Dirty Steve Wilkos:
He'll throw you off his stage, then offer you a hug backstage.
Superpower: Solving family drama with a lie detector and a steel chair.
Game Show Shuffle: The Home Edition
Round 1: Spotless or Scandalous?
If Mr. Clean ran your house, you'd never lose a sock.
If Steve Harvey ran your house, you'd never lose an argument—because you'd never win one.
If Dirty Steve Wilkos ran your house, you'd never lose your temper. He'd find it, amplify it, and televise it.
Round 2: Survey Says...
Name something that gets harder the more you use it.
Steve Harvey's face: "I'm not touching that."
Name a reason you'd watch Wilkos at 2 a.m.
"Because my own family drama isn't enough."
Round 3: The Magic Eraser Challenge
Mr. Clean can erase stains, but can he erase your memory of that one Feud answer?
Dirty Steve Wilkos exposes stains—on your soul.
Commercial Break:
"Are you tired of your family's drama? Try new Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser—now with extra strength for emotional baggage!"
The Lightning Round:
Steve Harvey's mustache has more personality than half the contestants.
Mr. Clean never ages, but Steve Harvey's jokes only get older.
Dirty Steve Wilkos will sacrifice anything for the truth—except his own chair.
Closing Credits:
In the world of The Game Show Shuffle, you're either cleaning up messes or making them. Whether you're team Spotless, team Scandalous, or just here for the snacks, remember:
The feud is for everybody, but the stains are forever.
Tune in next time, where we find out if Mr. Clean can scrub away regret, if Steve Harvey can keep a straight face, and if Dirty Steve Wilkos can finally find a chair that's safe from flying contestants.
Major Mustard out. Don't forget to clean up after your punchlines!