The Two Who Broke Apart
A strange feeling, "that" immediately bound Subaru's consciousness.
Subaru felt that something was off, and then he quickly noticed the reason why he thought that way.
The sounds disappeared from this world.
His own heartbeat, the breaths of everyone — all of these vanished from the world.
— After the sounds disappeared, next all the movements of existence also vanished.
Time stretched out, moments became eternal, the world one second later disappeared to a distant time beyond reach.
Before his eyes, Reinhild maintained a serious expression without moving.
Reinhild's dignified posture remained, but there would never be a next movement.
Subaru too was unable to move, no matter what, unable to move at all — whether mouth, eyes, or any other part, all would stop forever.
The sounds disappeared, time stopped, and Subaru's wish drifted far away beyond reach.
In this phenomenon beyond understanding, for some reason only Subaru's consciousness continued to scream in the still world.
— Then, "that" suddenly appeared.
A black mist, in a vision where he couldn't even blink, "that" suddenly floated out.
To Subaru, it was a black hand made of mist, with five fingers, length only up to the elbow, but "that" was certainly a hand.
The black fingers trembled; "that," clearly shaped like an elbow, moved slowly through the air, then the black fingers pierced into Subaru's chest, as if Subaru's physical body didn't even exist.
The sensation of the fingers touching internal organs, stroking ribs — only this feeling was directly transmitted to Subaru.
Discomfort and agitation took over Subaru; the mist's movement didn't stop.
It was almost like its destination was deeper inside Subaru's chest.
'Hey, wait. This really isn't...'
No voice could come out, the body couldn't even resist, Subaru's consciousness screamed miserably in fear.
Before he finished the words in his heart, the impact shook Subaru's existence fundamentally.
Why does injury to internal organs cause pain? Can anyone explain? The answer was simple: "No need to think about that."
At that instant, Subaru was struck by pain as if his heart was being mercilessly crushed.
Only pain — pain so intense it almost ground his soul to dust.
No sound could be made, not even the trembling of his body from the pain was allowed.
The pain tore Subaru's existence apart, consciousness was churned into a twisted mass, thoughts were cut up to the point he could no longer recall their original form.
"Ahh!"
Reinhild crossed the distance and supported the nearly collapsing Subaru; his eyes were full of confusion and worry.
Subaru exhaled like out of control, confirmed that his fingers could obey his will, then tremblingly touched his chest to verify from the outside that his heart was beating calmly.
His body could move, voice could come out, and the heart didn't hurt.
But the horror was clearly etched deeply in Subaru's heart.
Only hope for survival remained; the reality brought by "that" left Subaru in despair.
To challenge "that" once more — just thinking this, he saw illusions of black mist swaying.
The hand subconsciously touched his chest; Subaru clearly felt a reality forcing him to accept it. No matter where he went, he could only struggle alone.
"What's wrong? You've been acting strange since a while ago? If something's wrong..."
Unable to bear the swelling feelings, Subaru covered his face with both hands and then made a request to the bewildered Reinhild.
"— I want to ask you a favor."
Subaru interrupted Reinhild's worried voice; in his current mental state, seeing Reinhild possibly slip words, he could not trust himself.
'Can't be honest.'
Subaru understood this.
The words he originally wanted to convey — asking her to listen to him, to feel that pain — were all abandoned after feeling it himself. Subaru could only utter one sentence.
"Don't worry about me. Let me be."
"How can I just leave you like this?"
That was a serious tone.
Subaru noticed the girl's eyes full of concern and sincerity.
The girl truly cared for him. If it was before, he would have been ecstatic.
"Tell me what you wanted to say just now. Let me be your strength."
That was a confident tone.
Twenty-one days ago, after he asked her for help, she replied in this tone.
For Subaru, that was the tone of breaking through a desperate situation. If it were him a few seconds ago, he would have thought he could overcome the difficulty once again with her help.
"I..."
"Stop talking!!!"
Subaru pushed away Reinhild's hand reaching out to him and shouted.
The girl was like the sun; her light of hope kept shining into his despairing heart.
Subaru noticed his own wavering, that he actually wanted to stand up because of a few words from the girl, that his spirit actually wanted to keep challenging that hell of despair.
Ah... Ah... Ah...
Subaru was breathing heavily, but with fierce eyes he stopped the girl's hand from getting close.
"..."
The girl's tone and movements showed a trace of panic; obviously, she didn't understand what she had done wrong.
"Well, as the chosen one, what do you really understand about me?"
The girl, loved by the world, who could solve difficulties that even the royal capital herself couldn't with just one sword, and who the mansion's disasters actively avoided — cooking, painting, fighting… everything perfect — how could such a person understand his struggles?
'Hey! Come to think of it, why am I still here? To repay Reinhild's kindness. But I already knew the disaster couldn't hurt Reinhild... Right, I'm here to protect the friends in the mansion. Friends?'
Subaru looked at the gathered crowd, looked at their eyes.
"Why has everyone teamed up to abandon me…!? What did I do…!? What's wrong with me, what's the problem, why do you all hate me so much…?"
Subaru's low whisper gradually turned into mad laughter.
"You'll regret this. Get out of my way."
Subaru said to the guards blocking his path.
Ignoring Ferris' curses behind him, probably by instruction, the crowd cleared a path.
But the people on both sides still looked at Subaru with loathing.
'This is good. Now I don't need to stand up anymore, no need to stay here anymore. Now I can leave this hell with Roswaal.'
Subaru looked at the people behind, but his hand covered his heart.
Subaru felt so much pain, so uncomfortable.
Rejecting Reinhild's help like this, Subaru began his fourth loop.
Even though Subaru caused Reinhild so much trouble, Reinhild still lent him a guest room.
He barely remembered what she said.
"You can stay as long as you want, and I'm always here waiting for your decision."
The only thing he remembered was Reinhild's tired face and her words that were convenient for him.
But for Subaru, that no longer mattered.
Because Subaru had lost the meaning to fight.
He would go to Emilia tomorrow.