I Won't Abandon You
Time unknowingly came to evening.
Although Subaru was lying in bed without moving, his breathing through his mouth became irregular with the coming of the night.
Subaru was afraid to sleep.
He kept stabbing the back of his hand with the feather pen in his hand.
Whenever his eyelids began to droop, he forced his consciousness awake through pain. If he fell asleep, who knew what might happen.
"I have already died three times. In the capital's cycle, I only died three times, because on the day I break through the infinite cycle on the fourth loop, the fourth death is an unknown realm for me. Even so, I still don't want to die." So Subaru forced himself to feel grateful, to prevent his life from ending mysteriously.
He doubted everything, resisted everything, clinging desperately just to survive.
Forgetting the passage of time, forgetting hunger and thirst, Subaru focused solely on his existence.
After confirming his existence through the pain of his wounds, the intervals between stabbing his hand grew shorter.
Pain, joy, pain, joy, pain, pain, pain—
"Why are you hurting yourself like this?"
Suddenly, hearing this voice, Subaru lifted his face as if bounced up.
His eyes shone like a wild beast's.
In front of his gaze was a girl leaning against the doorway.
Gradually, Subaru's tense expression relaxed.
Even though it was unprecedented for Reinhild to personally visit during the cycle, Subaru's guard did not rise.
"...What are you doing here?"
The deep, hoarse voice was unexpectedly his own.
Realizing this, Subaru was genuinely surprised.
Had the anger toward this world seeped into his voice? His tone seemed to carry a trace of hostility.
"I smelled blood. Let me bandage you—just ordinary medical dressing."
Reinhild said, taking a medical kit from a nearby cabinet.
"Why? Even though I said such harsh things to you, even though I caused you so much trouble, why won't you give up on me?"
"You must have been very restless then, right? Everyone has times like that. It can't be helped. But when you see Felt next time, apologize to her, okay? I'll be with you."
Reinhild moved a chair and sat down to Subaru's right, smiling, then slowly took the pen from Subaru's hand.
She frowned upon seeing the wounds on Subaru's hand, then carefully cleaned the wounds with medicine and wrapped them with bandages.
"All done. By the way, why aren't you eating? Is it not to your taste? Your body won't hold up. Tell me what you want to eat—I'll prepare it for you tomorrow."
Subaru looked at the dinner beside him. His stomach was indeed extremely hungry, but the feeling was still far from surpassing his rational endurance. He feared food.
"Because… maybe it's poisoned."
'What did I just say!'
Realizing he hurt the girl again, Subaru lowered his head in guilt.
"Is that so?"
The girl removed the plate from Subaru's sight and chewed lightly.
"No poison. Here, ah~"
Surprised, Subaru watched as the girl brought a spoon to his mouth.
Her overwhelmingly strong presence made Subaru instinctively obey, opening his mouth.
The food was instantly fed into him.
Instinctively, Subaru chewed a few times then swallowed.
The girl smiled happily.
With the dinner knife in her hand, she sliced the steak into dozens of pieces, forked some, and ate them, then scooped a piece with a spoon and brought it to Subaru's mouth again.
Humans are strange.
Just now, Subaru felt guilty for indirectly "kissing" the girl through her kindness, but now watching her actions, he felt lonely.
However, the girl's noble etiquette meant she would never do the rude thing of sharing utensils she had used with her benefactor.
Although Subaru wanted to feed himself, his injured hand made her insist on feeding him. Thus, the plate was finally emptied.
"Well then, I'll take my leave now."
"!?!"
Reinhild was somewhat surprised to see Subaru grasping her trembling hand as she prepared to leave with the plate. She was silent for a moment.
"Then I'll just read here, hope you don't mind."
"Mm."
.
.
.
"…Finally, the sage, the sword saint, and the divine dragon worked together to seal away the witch."
The girl recited the fairy tale Subaru knew, "The Jealous Witch," but now Subaru was unusually concerned by it.
Because Rem had said that he carried the stench of a witch.
"Reinhild, do I really have the witch's scent on me?"
"Yes, there is indeed a discomfort caused by witches."
The Jealous Witch 'Satella'—who consumed six witches once branded with sins, devouring half the world—was the most terrible calamity.
Some say she wanted love.
Some say she didn't understand human speech.
Some say she envied all things in the world.
Some say no one survives seeing her face.
Some say her body never rots, ages, or dies.
Some say even being sealed by dragons, heroes, and sages could not destroy her.
"Why do I have that kind of scent? Why do I have to suffer because of it?"
"I don't know. But I believe you are a good person, so I won't let anyone harm you because of it. I will protect you, so promise me you won't hurt yourself anymore."
The girl held Subaru's hand and spoke seriously.
—Ah, no.
Just as Subaru's heart suddenly felt at ease, his consciousness was ravaged by sleepiness.
The sleep demon, which had been kept at bay by pain, seized this perfect opportunity to invade.
Subaru's energy was instantly drained.
But at that moment, Subaru noticed Reinhild's smile and saw the second book she had picked up.
"Sleep peacefully, I'll be here."
His consciousness completely relaxed.
Subaru gave up resisting and sank into the sea of drowsiness.
Subaru's awareness floated like a cloud, feeling as if he were caught between dream and reality.
Dreams were said to be byproducts of the brain organizing information—Subaru had heard this somewhere before.
Now this was confirmed: though asleep, he saw scenes that disturbed his sleep, his brain trying to sort vivid memories.
In other words, the deep, intense memory of "death" repeatedly surrounded Subaru.
Groaning, struggling, drenched in sweat, tears flowing from the corners of his eyes, frustrated and painful.
Subaru felt his weakness constantly emerging, his soul being diminished, being worn down until his spirit would be utterly exhausted.
He had reached the point where he truly thought that way.
Suddenly, the stiffness in Subaru's body disappeared. It was as if the internal chill and fear that made his body tremble were suddenly driven away.
One reason was his hand.
Someone was holding Subaru's hand.
Lying in bed, unconscious, Subaru was pulled back to reality by the touch.
The warm sensation, the gentle feeling—all told him he was being cared for.
As if rescued, a warm breeze blew into his ravaged heart.
Comfort came at suffocating times, breath forgetting hardship and returning to calm. Someone, something, was protecting him.
Was this reality? Or was this also a dream?
Feeling a faint residual warmth in his right hand, Subaru instinctively reached out his left hand, and clasped that warm thing with both hands.
Someone said something, but Subaru's spirit had already sunk into the peaceful ocean, unable to wake up.