Chapter 15: Endless Loop (Part 4)
"Subaru, do you have any suggestions?"
Hearing someone call his name, Subaru finally snapped out of his deep thoughts about Beatrice's final words.
"Beatrice and the Sin Archbishop on the enemy's side were teacher and student, so she probably won't be joining the fight."
Looking at the shocked expressions of everyone present, Subaru recalled that heart-wrenching look in Beatrice's eyes, then finally let out a long sigh.
Looking at the people in front of him who still believed in him—a not-so-stable but incredibly powerful-in-battle Emilia, Otto who seemed weak but was cunningly intelligent, and perhaps even himself, someone who might truly be capable of infinite loops—
"I don't want Beatrice to wear that sorrowful expression as she slays her own master. I don't want to keep being a weakling protected by the strong. So let's defeat the Sin Archbishop who's terrorized the land for 400 years—on our own."
Subaru smiled at the people shouting in agreement before him, clenching his fists tightly, making a silent vow:
—No matter the cost, I'll lead everyone to victory.
And then...
Subaru was crushed to death, frozen to death, cut down, bled to death, torn apart, starved...
The memories of death piled up without end, but the experience he gained through death still couldn't help him surpass that insurmountable wall.
His resolve wore down, his will to fight wore down, his courage wore down.
The black-haired boy slowly stood back up.
Even though his entire arm had been charred, his abdomen had caved in, and one of his eyes was lost—there was no pain on his face.
In fact, there was a faint smile.
The dying boy laughed madly amidst a heap of blackened corpses.
There were a total of eleven bodies.
Excluding the corpse of the ground dragon, the remaining ten were Witch Cultists in black robes.
The one who killed them all—was Subaru, the only one still standing.
The physical fitness he developed training in Japan, nearing that of an athlete, two months of combat instruction from Reinhild, combat tactics refined through countless loops, memorizing enemy attack patterns like a gamer "backboarding" a boss fight, traps Otto had helped him dig, and the stench of the Witch on himself...
"Hahaha... I won... Hahahahaha..."
Subaru finally stopped laughing.
Emptiness and despair surged back into his heart once more.
"...Did I really win?"
Leaning against a tree with his eyes closed, Subaru tried to catch his breath.
He knew that this was his absolute limit.
He wouldn't be able to kill the second team of Fingers, and once the Fingers died, Petelgeuse would start acting himself.
There wasn't enough time.
—I hope everything goes well.
He didn't know how much time had passed, but Subaru suddenly felt a chill on the back of his hand.
Opening his eyes, he saw countless snowflakes fluttering down in front of him.
They froze the land—and froze the last bit of fighting spirit within his soul.
"So... they couldn't stop it after all."
As if finally letting go of everything, Subaru sat down on the ground and leaned against the tree—then began to cry.
"So it really is hopeless, huh."
"Yeah... there's no way to beat a monster like that.
The Invisible Hands that can tear apart your body effortlessly while being unseen, the mental corruption that breaks people who lack spirit affinity, the resurrection ability... how could we ever win against something like that?"
He pounded the ground in frustration.
"Damn it... damn it... damn it! If only Emilia was a bit more stable..."
Looking at the snowflakes on the ground, dyed red by his own blood, Subaru thought of that silver-haired half-elf.
He once placed all his hopes on Emilia, whose combat strength could rival the Sin Archbishop of Sloth.
And in return, he had paid for it with countless lives.
Subaru smiled bitterly.
The truth was, what Emilia lacked wasn't power. Her magic reserves were unimaginable.
She could even trigger an apocalyptic transformation like the one caused by Puck. But—
She was a ticking time bomb.
"Puck... you really left behind one hell of a mess."
Subaru looked up at the snow-filled sky and sighed in resignation.
Of course, he had tried to help Emilia. He hadn't succeeded—but he fully understood her situation now.
Emilia had a painful past. Puck had sealed those memories away via a contract to protect her. But during the battle between Reinhild and Puck, that contract was broken.
Maybe it was because Reinhild was too strong.
Maybe Puck was too injured to maintain the seal.
Or maybe it was Emilia's own subconscious avoiding her traumatic memories.
In any case, Emilia hadn't fully remembered everything that happened.
Deep within her mind, there were chaotic and despair-filled memories.
Normally, those should have been slowly processed with time.
But Petelgeuse seemed to be the core of those painful memories.
Just seeing him sent her into uncontrollable agony and rampage.
In the worst cases, driven by guilt, she'd help Petelgeuse attack others.
In slightly better cases, she'd unleash her magic and freeze everything in sight.
In the best cases, she'd just become a broken mess who could only mutter "I'm sorry" over and over again.
—I'm not a psychiatrist. But even if I were, it wouldn't help.
Not when even Emilia doesn't know what really happened.
When just trying to remember makes her break down. If only I could find out what actually happened...
How many times had he had this thought?
Probably every time Emilia froze him to death.
Subaru sighed.
A wave of helplessness surged through him.
People naturally avoided pain—and if it wasn't Petelgeuse himself, but just a Finger, Emilia's combat ability was still decent.
But the problem was: Petelgeuse always declared his name before battle, and if the Finger resembled him even a little, Emilia's power would be diminished.
"Even if he doesn't announce his name, there's no way Emilia could survive a tag-team of ten Fingers anyway."
Subaru gave a bitter smile.
His stamina was draining rapidly.
His limbs were losing color.
The cold made him sleepy.
—So tired... so sleepy...
He slowly opened his eyes—and left his room.
The color of the magical timepiece hanging in the corridor was shifting—that meant a new day had begun.
The southern sky outside the window was stained red with firelight.
A few deafening explosions rang out, followed by the frequent clash of swords.
The zealous cultists had begun their trial on the eighth day.
The battle at the mansion had begun again.
For the first time, Subaru had done nothing during a loop.
And for the first time, he saw what would have happened.
The magical beasts were drawn by the Witch's scent.
The Witch Cultists actively cleared the beasts from their surroundings.
On the seventh day, the mercenaries training in the forest would notice the beasts acting strangely.
And cautious Otto would inevitably plant traps.
This... was the world where Subaru did not take action.
Subaru felt completely detached from the world. Since no one targeted him, he simply watched.
He saw the two groups of Fingers be eliminated.
He saw Emilia and the others rush to the village to rescue the people.
He saw the snow fall once more—covering the world in ice.
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