16: Endless Loop (Part 5)
"Subaru, do you know anything about the Witch Cultists coming to attack?"
Returning from the forest, Subaru heard the familiar question.
He looked at Otto, who blocked his path, then glanced around at the same failed defensive setup he had seen countless times before. Subaru let out a sigh.
"It's meaningless. The enemy is the Sin Archbishop of Sloth. We don't have the strength. The best option is to retreat directly."
"I see. Alright, let me think about it."
Subaru looked at the man in front of him. Otto was a timid person.
He would complain when things failed, cry, even fall into despair—but because of Reinhild's trust in him, he had never once chosen to flee.
—If only Emilia could be persuaded to run away.
The thought flashed through Subaru's mind, and then he let out a bitter, mocking smile.
Emilia's kind nature meant she would never abandon the people of Arlam village.
Looking at Otto, who seemed to have made a desperate decision, Subaru—who had already chosen to give up—felt that Otto was shining unbearably bright.
—I tried. I fought. I wasn't wrong.
That's what Subaru told himself. But even so, he couldn't bear to stay with Otto anymore.
He bypassed Otto, who looked like he wanted to say something, and tried to leave.
"The Subaru I know isn't that pessimistic."
Standing in his path now was Brian.
In his eyes, Subaru must still have been that knight striving endlessly upward—but...
"I've already tried. No matter how much you try, there's a limit. We're not the chosen ones."
"Is that Sloth guy really that strong?"
"Not really. But I've heard this saying before: 'Don't fear a god-like opponent; fear a pig-like teammate.'"
Thinking of how the Emilia faction had acted, Subaru showed a sarcastic smile.
He wasn't afraid of strong enemies.
But this kind of team? They were really just dragging him down.
—Seriously, what's wrong with Emilia's side?
Now that he thought about it, even Rem, who was helping him now, and Ram from the last loop had both killed him the first time they met?
Subaru fell into a spiral of messy thoughts.
He remembered Ram's wind blades, Rem's morning star, Emilia and Puck's ice attacks, Roswaal's self-destruction, and Frederica's sharp fangs.
—But come on, there shouldn't be a system this bizarre.
Why do they only become allies after they've killed me once? That's way too weird.
Have I died so many times I'm losing it?
"I really misjudged you. Rather than sit here waiting to die, why not take a gamble? Try escaping when the fighting starts. But if you keep spouting this defeatist crap, I won't hold back next time."
"Got it. I'll hide in my room before the battle starts."
Subaru replied as he stepped forward, leaving Brian, who had been radiating murderous intent, looking shocked.
—Escape, huh...?
Subaru sighed.
"Too late for that."
He muttered.
Trying to escape? Of course he had tried.
He had already run away countless times.
But it was too late. If he'd run from the very beginning, maybe it would've worked. But by the time he wanted to escape, he'd already died dozens of times.
Dragged from the mud by the Unseen Hands.
Patrasche suddenly becoming a corpse.
The giant whale spitting out deathly white mist from the sky...
Fleeing endlessly in the dark, running, running—then just before reaching the light, countless demonic hands would catch him.
Hands plunging from the ground would carve eight deep red gashes into his body. The exit to the light grew ever more distant.
—No... no no no no...
"Beloved follower, why, why, why... must you leave, must you run... You are truly slothful. And this is where you belong."
Eleven figures twisted their heads 90 degrees and stared at him in unison.
Then they spread their arms wide and screamed maniacally.
Around them were—
His own corpses. Countless corpses of himself. This was their graveyard.
.
.
.
"Subaru-kun? Subaru-kun, are you alright?"
Subaru sat up suddenly, gasping for breath.
"Subaru-kun, water."
Once he calmed down, he looked around.
Though the door was broken, the white room and large bed made it clear—he was in his room at Roswaal's mansion.
And beside him stood a blue-haired girl in a maid outfit, her face full of worry.
"I was here to bring dinner. I heard you screaming, so I came in without permission. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Maybe I had a nightmare because of what Brian said. Or maybe I was just remembering things."
Subaru took a sip of water and tried to reassure the worried Rem, then sighed.
If he had once been a candle in the darkness—faint, but undetectable—then now he was a lighthouse shining clearly in the void.
"If anything is bothering you, please talk to Rem. Rem will always stand by Subaru."
Yes, no matter when or where, you've always helped me, always trusted me.
Even when I asked you to run away with me, you followed me with guilt but still followed me.
"Telling you doesn't help!!!"
Subaru yelled at the silently watching Rem.
Then he remembered how self-deprecating she used to be—and realized he'd said something wrong.
"Sorry. That's not what I meant. I just meant that even if I told you, it would only..."
He stopped himself.
He swallowed the rest of the sentence, relieved for a brief second. But looking at the girl before him, he couldn't find the words.
"It's alright. Maybe I can't ease Subaru-kun's burdens like my sister or Lord Reinhild right now, but someday, I'll be the strength you need."
Rem flexed her nonexistent muscles playfully, placed the food in front of Subaru, bowed, and prepared to leave.
"Rem... Thanks to you, I have a little courage to move forward."
"Really? That's Rem's greatest honor."
With a bright smile, the blue-haired maid left the room.
Once Subaru confirmed she was gone, he started dry heaving.
Flashing through his mind were countless smiling images of Rem—smiling just before dying, after fleeing together with him.
From outside came a familiar explosion.
Subaru stood up slowly.
He picked up his sword and left the room.
Along the way, he passed numerous open doors—opened earlier in the day under his command to the Witch Cultists attacking the mansion.
Subaru stood silently before the mutilated corpse of a golden leopard.
That was Frederica—the only person in the mansion who, in the early stages, could kill him instantly.
In the previous loop, she had discovered he was commanding the Witch Cultists and had swatted him to death.
To ensure success this time, Subaru had ordered the Cultists to eliminate her first.
"Once I go in, try to close all the mansion doors behind me."
Subaru instructed the nearby Witch Cultist.
The cultist bowed respectfully.
Subaru took a deep breath—and gripped the handle of the last closed door.