Kazuto Yamashiro, Lewd Hero of Destiny, was a man on a mission.
That mission? Not saving the world. Not slaying a demon king.
It was… getting his first guild card.
"Do you have any idea how humiliating this is?!" Ayame barked as she stomped down the cobblestone street beside him.
She was wrapped in a borrowed cloak, hiding the damage from the slime dungeon. Her breastplate was gone. Her skirt dissolved. Only her thigh-highs and scraps of her undershirt remained.
Kazuto, meanwhile, walked proudly with his chest puffed out, still holding his stick like a legendary weapon.
"What's humiliating? We destroyed the boss slime! And thanks to your divine booty, I unlocked my first actual skill!"
Her eye twitched. "You mean the one where you literally yell 'Booty Smack' and explode monsters with ass-clap noises?!"
"Exactly!" Kazuto grinned. "It's revolutionary! That skill could save the world!"
Ayame buried her face in her palm. "I should've let the slimes eat you."
The Guild Hall
The guild hall towered over the square—stone walls, banners of crossed swords and staffs, the air buzzing with adventurers laughing, drinking, and arguing.
Kazuto's jaw dropped. "It's just like an RPG menu hub! YESSS!"
Ayame dragged him by the ear. "Just behave. We'll register, get some clothes for me, and figure out what to do next."
The interior was loud and warm, a mixture of wood smoke and spilled ale. Mercenaries in armor clinked mugs. Rogues argued over loot.
Behind the counter sat a guild receptionist… with a chest so enormous Kazuto nearly collapsed.
Fanservice Accident #5 – The Boob Grab
Ayame stomped up to the counter. "Two new adventurers for registration."
The receptionist smiled warmly, leaning forward—sending her massive breasts spilling nearly onto the desk.
"Of course! Please fill out these forms."
Kazuto's nose began to bleed instantly.
"I-it's real. The legendary Big Boob Guild Receptionist trope…!"
Ayame elbowed him. "Control yourself!"
Kazuto staggered, tripping over his own foot as he leaned to grab a quill.
He fell forward.
His hands landed squarely on the receptionist's breasts.
SQUISH.
The entire guild hall froze.
Ayame's jaw dropped. The receptionist's eyes widened. Kazuto's brain short-circuited.
"...Oh my God," he whispered. "They're softer than heaven's pillows…"
SMACK!!
Ayame's boot slammed into his ribs, launching him across the hall.
"PERVERTTTT!!"
The guild erupted in laughter.
"Did you see that grab?!"
"Ballsiest newbie I've ever seen!"
"He's already living the dream!"
Kazuto staggered to his feet, clutching his chest and grinning.
"Worth it. Totally worth it."
The receptionist, surprisingly, only sighed and adjusted her blouse.
"You're not the first idiot to trip like that. At least you didn't grope on purpose… right?"
Kazuto saluted, nose still spraying. "Pure accident! But destiny brought my hands there!"
Ayame smacked him again.
Registration
The receptionist handed them guild forms.
"Name, class, and skills. Then we'll test your combat power."
Ayame filled hers quickly: Ayame, Swordfighter, Skill: Bootyquake Slash.
Kazuto scribbled proudly: Kazuto Yamashiro, Lewd Hero, Skills: Booty Smack, Booty Synchronization.
The receptionist raised an eyebrow. "...Lewd Hero?"
Ayame buried her face in her cloak. "Don't ask. Just… don't."
power Test
They were led to a back arena. A crystalline orb glowed at the center, meant to measure adventurer stats.
Ayame touched it first. Numbers floated in the air.
"Strength: B. Agility: B+. Defense: C+. Skill Rank: A (Unique)."
The guild murmured in awe. "She's strong!"
Then Kazuto stepped up, grinning. He slapped both hands on the orb.
The numbers blinked:
"Strength: F. Agility: F. Defense: F. Skill Rank: ???"
Laughter exploded through the hall.
"Hah! He's useless!"
"Lowest stats I've ever seen!"
Ayame smirked. "Figures."
But then the orb glowed again, shifting:
"Lewd Resonance: SSS+."
"Jiggle Compatibility: God-Tier."
The hall went dead silent.
Kazuto pointed dramatically at Ayame's ass.
"SEE?! With every bounce of her booty, I surpass mortals!"
The guild hall erupted again, half laughing, half in disbelief.
New Waifu Tease – Elf Mage
As the commotion settled, a new adventurer entered the hall.
Long blonde hair shimmered. Pointed ears peeked through. Her robe clung to her curvy frame, and her chest… rivaled even the receptionist's.
Every eye turned.
Kazuto's nose exploded instantly.
"AN ELF!! AND SHE'S BUSTY!! THANK YOU, GODDESS!!"
Ayame grabbed his collar, yanking him back. "Wipe that disgusting grin off your face!"
The elf mage glanced their way, smirking faintly.
"So… you're the so-called Lewd Hero? Interesting."
Kazuto clasped his hands in prayer.
"Marry me."
SMACK!!
Ayame's boot sent him face-first into the floor.
Aftermath
Kazuto eventually staggered out with his new guild card, still grinning despite his bruises.
"I have a guild license! I touched boobs! And I met a busty elf waifu! Today is the best day of my life!!"
Ayame dragged him by the ear.
"Shut up. Tomorrow, we're taking a quest. And if you touch one more woman, I'm cutting your hands off."
Kazuto's nose bled again.
"Totally worth it