The bathhouse was supposed to be quiet.
Steam drifted lazily through the air, curling in soft, glowing ribbons that caught the light of the lanterns and painted the whole room like a dream. The water's surface shimmered as if inviting Ethan to just… relax.
And for three whole minutes, he did.
Three minutes of peace.
Three minutes of pretending the last twenty-four hours of accidental boob grabs, "falling into" Ayaka's lap, and Mei's relentless flirting hadn't happened.
Then the door slid open.
"Alright, Hero—!" Ayaka's voice rang out like a battle cry. "You're mine tonight!"
Before Ethan could react, she stepped into the water with enough force to send a wave across the bath. Her towel clung precariously to her curves, and she didn't even try to hide the smug smile on her face.
"Oh, come on," Ethan muttered, but deep down, some part of him knew this was inevitable.
"Not so fast." Rika entered from the side, moving with infuriating grace. She slipped into the water without a sound and sat across from him, leaning forward so her cleavage framed her grin.
"I was here first," Rika said.
"You literally weren't!" Ayaka shot back, glaring.
"Details."
Ethan sank lower into the water, until it was just below his nose. Maybe if he stayed very still, they'd forget he existed.
"Please don't start a fight," he tried, voice muffled.
That was his second mistake.
The door opened again and Mei bounded in like an overexcited puppy. "Ooooh, everyone's here already!" She practically skipped into the water, deliberately splashing both Rika and Ayaka before wedging herself directly next to Ethan.
"And now everyone's too close," Ethan said weakly.
"This is perfect!" Mei said, hugging his arm and resting her chin on his shoulder. "Bonding time!"
"Bonding time my ass!" Ayaka snapped. "You're way too close!"
"Jealous?" Mei teased, sticking out her tongue.
Rika chuckled, watching them with an expression halfway between amusement and malice. "She's definitely jealous."
"Not jealous!" Ayaka said immediately, her face bright red.
And then the fourth entered.
Lena glided into the bathhouse, calm as ever, and lowered herself into the water without a word. Her long hair floated around her like a halo, and she stared at Ethan with that unreadable look she always wore.
"Finally, some sanity," Ethan said.
Lena's reply was simple. "We could share."
The bathhouse went silent.
"...What?" Ethan asked, blinking.
"It would be efficient," Lena said, expression perfectly neutral.
"SHARE?!" Ayaka's voice cracked.
"Yes!" Mei said at the same time, suddenly perking up.
"No way!" Ayaka grabbed Ethan's other arm, pulling him closer to her. "He's mine tonight!"
"Then I guess I just have to win." Rika smirked and grabbed Ethan's other arm, tugging him in the opposite direction.
Mei hopped behind him, looping her arms around his neck. "Then it's a contest!"
"Contest?!" Ethan tried to wiggle free, but Mei just squeezed him tighter, pressing her chest against his back.
[System Alert: Harem Aggro Reaching Critical Mass!][System Event Triggered: Bathhouse Royale]
"Oh no," Ethan muttered.
Ayaka's eyes gleamed with the fire of a warrior about to duel for honor. "You heard the system. Round one—!"
She lunged at the same time Rika pulled, and suddenly Ethan was dragged underwater in a tangle of limbs, towels, and far too much exposed skin.
The next thirty seconds were chaos.
Water splashed everywhere, the bathhouse echoed with shouting, and Ethan's attempts to escape only made things worse. He slipped, Ayaka grabbed him by reflex, and he ended up landing with his face directly in her chest.
Ayaka froze. Ethan froze.
Then Rika splashed them both, laughing. "Nice landing, Hero!"
"GET OFF OF HIM!" Ayaka shouted, shoving Ethan backward—right into Mei, who squealed with delight as she caught him.
"Looks like I win!" Mei giggled, squeezing him tighter.
"You do NOT win!" Ayaka shouted, lunging again.
Ethan barely had time to gasp before he was pulled in three directions at once. His head ended up resting on Ayaka's thighs, one arm trapped against Rika's chest, and Mei sitting right behind him, practically straddling him to keep him in place.
Lena just watched, the faintest smile tugging at her lips.
"You know," she said casually, "if you picked one of us, this wouldn't happen."
"THANK YOU FOR THAT USELESS COMMENT!" Ethan shouted.
Ayaka leaned over him, red-faced. "Well? Who do you want, huh?"
"This isn't multiple choice!" Ethan cried.
"Oh, it's definitely multiple choice," Rika said with a grin, inching closer until their noses almost touched.
Mei giggled and nuzzled his cheek. "Choose carefully~."
Ethan's brain entered fight-or-flight mode, but the only option available was suffer.
The bathhouse filled with shouting again as Ayaka and Rika tried to wrestle each other off him, Mei refused to let go, and Ethan flailed helplessly.
By the time it was over, towels were floating like fallen flags of war, the water level had dropped dangerously low, and Ethan lay flat on the floor, staring at the ceiling with wide, haunted eyes.
"I just wanted to relax," he whispered hoarsely.
"You looked plenty relaxed," Rika teased, wringing out her hair.
"You're welcome," Ayaka added smugly, though she was still blushing furiously.
Mei just giggled and planted a quick kiss on Ethan's cheek. "See? Group bonding successful!"
Ethan groaned and covered his face.
[System Notice: Bathhouse Royale Completed. Rewards: +5 Charisma, +3 Luck.][System Hint: Enjoy the peace while it lasts. Big event incoming.]
Ethan sat up slowly, glaring at the glowing system screen. "I hate you."
"Oh, you'll thank me later," the system chirped cheerfully.
The girls all exchanged a look — that silent, wordless agreement Ethan had learned meant only one thing: trouble.
"Oh no," he said.
"Oh yes," they replied in unison.
The sound of splashing started up again. Ethan tried to escape, but this time there was no mercy.