Morning came in Ass-Topia with a golden sunrise that painted the floating islands in shimmering pink light. Ethan stretched, yawning, only to realize that Selene was already standing over him—her long legs catching the sunlight like polished marble.
"Rise and shine, Summoner," Selene said with an almost teasing lilt. "It is time for your first trial."
Ethan blinked sleepily. "Can it involve breakfast first? I fight better after pancakes."
"No," Selene said bluntly. "But if you survive, there will be a feast."
Ayaka stood up, tying her hair back, her hips swaying naturally as she warmed up. "Finally. Something to punch. I was starting to think this world only had dance battles."
"Don't tempt fate," Saphira muttered.
The Arena of Thicc
Selene led them to an enormous coliseum floating on a single massive peach-shaped rock. The floor shimmered like polished obsidian, and the stands were filled with ethereal projections of spectators cheering.
"Okay…" Ethan muttered, taking it all in. "I feel like I've walked into some kind of divine strip club-slash-gladiator ring."
Selene smirked. "Not far off." She pointed toward the center. "This is the Arena of Thicc. Your first trial is simple: defeat the Guardian of the Jiggle Gate."
A loud rumble shook the arena.
[System Alert]Boss Summoned: Colossal Booty Construct – "Peach Titan"Difficulty: Ridiculously ThiccWeak Point: …You can probably guess.
The ground cracked as a massive stone golem emerged—its design strangely curvaceous, with exaggerated hips and a peach-shaped core embedded in its back.
"Oh, come on!" Ethan shouted. "It's literally got a glowing butt weak spot?!"
Ayaka grinned. "Guess we're kicking ass… literally."
Battle Begins
The Peach Titan roared, shaking the entire arena, then charged forward.
"Spread out!" Ethan shouted, taking command.
Saphira dashed left, her spear glowing as she struck at its legs. Kaela leapt forward, her axe cleaving into the titan's knee. Ayaka used her agility to vault onto its back, delivering a flurry of kicks.
But the Titan swatted her off with one massive hand.
"Whoa—!" Ayaka flipped midair, landing in a crouch. "Okay, that stung."
Selene finally stepped forward, her eyes glowing. "Allow me to demonstrate why I am your strongest waifu."
She raised her hands, summoning glowing chains of light that wrapped around the Titan's legs, holding it in place. Then she turned to Ethan.
"Now!"
Ethan's Big Play
Ethan took a deep breath, adrenaline pumping. He sprinted forward, dodging falling debris and the Titan's desperate swipes.
"Alright, buddy…" he muttered, leaping onto its back. "Time for the ultimate finisher!"
He channeled every ounce of energy the System had given him, launching himself straight into the air before coming down with a glowing punch directly on the peach-shaped core.
BOOOOM!
The Titan shattered, exploding into glittering fragments that rained down like confetti.
[Boss Defeated!]Reward: +500 Charm, Rare Booty Relic, 1 New Waifu Slot
Ethan landed in a crouch, panting, and raised a fist in triumph. "Hell. Yes."
Aftermath & Comedy
Selene walked over to him, smiling faintly. "Impressive. You are beginning to earn your title."
Ayaka smirked, patting Ethan's back. "Nice job, leader. You actually looked cool this time."
"Only this time?" Ethan grumbled.
Kaela held up the glowing relic that had dropped from the Titan. It looked like a golden belt, covered in intricate runes.
[Booty Relic Acquired: Belt of Heavenly Curves]Effect: Increases waifu physique enhancements by 15% when worn.
Ayaka immediately grabbed it. "Mine."
"Hey!" Kaela protested, but Ayaka was already strapping it on.
Ethan swallowed hard, realizing that Ayaka's hips had just gotten noticeably more pronounced.
"This world is going to kill me…" he whispered, nose almost bleeding.
Selene's Warning
Just as the group began to relax, Selene's expression grew serious.
"That was merely the first trial," she said. "The next will not be so… playful. The enemies ahead are not constructs—they are living challengers. Rivals."
"Rivals?" Saphira asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Yes. Others who seek to claim Ass-Topia's blessing for themselves. If they win… they will strip you of your power, and your waifus' curves will be diminished."
The entire party froze.
"Not. Happening." Ayaka growled, cracking her knuckles.
"Then prepare," Selene said softly, her rose-gold hair glowing in the setting sun. "Because tomorrow, the Tournament of Curves begins."