Nox's POV:
Time for round two.
This round, fortunately, doesn't require me to pay out of pocket as it's a purity test, but before I had the chance to pull out my certified V-card to get 1st place, they explained that it was in fact, not a contest to see who would admit to being a virgin first, but rather a contest to see who could make the highest quality pill. The rules of this round is essentially the same as the preliminaries thank fuck. All the ingredients were provided, and we only needed to make one kind of pill.
"Sweet! Time to win this thing for all my fans!"
It seems my scapegoat is doing its thing as I can clearly see the ragged and bruised toast-ghost limp his sorry ass up to his workbench. After the 1st round, the evil phantom-toast started chasing me down so he could start something. Me not wanting to get framed again, spent most of my free time in the vents covered head to toe in aluminum foil, because it's the only way to avoid the phantom-toast radar and not get spotted in a crowd for my healthy shine. Anyways, I got tired of snaking my way around the place in my metal dress and passed the torch on to the phantom detective in the form of an aluminum hat and his toasty new arch nemesis, 'Phantom-Toast'.
My plan was to instigate a fight between the two phantom guys, but it seemed unnecessary so I skedaddled and left them to it. Their phantom-noses instantly recognized each other as fellow phantoms and like neighbors fighting over where their property line was, they got into a territorial dispute and voila, phantom battle ahoy. I mean it didn't go exactly as I planned cause the security called in some reinforcements after the hallway incident and stop them before anyone got killed or incapacitated, but at least I won't have to worry about the phantom-toast chasing me down in that condition.
"Haha! No evil toast can stand in the face of magica-!"
*Gulp*
Fuck! Why do I keep jinxing on this stupid moon!
While I was in the middle of proclaiming my victory over the phantom-toast, he suddenly ingested the pill version of a healing potion and got his HP, back to full. All the scars and broken bones were healed in minutes. He then walked up to my workbench. I got my wand ready, just in case. I kind of doubt he is dumb enough to attack me in public, but as a sane human being, I cannot predict the thoughts of this particular species of idiots. Oh, right, I still haven't gotten around to fixing this yet, so the wand is still a little crooked.
"Lady Su! If possible, there is something I would like to ask you later!" He said, as the red rage turned his face into a tomato.
"Sowwy, but me no sign autographs! Got to keep my signature away from unscrupulous bad guys!" I said, remembering what happened to sweet old Riri.
"Uhm, no! It's just tha-!"
"CONTESTANT'S PLEASE TAKE YOUR STATIONS!!!" The ref intervened finally.
"If I win this contest, will you do one thing for me?!"
"Sure thing! For this magical alchemist will never lose to toast!" I said, giving him a cute pose and a thumbs up. Lying is great isn't it.
As in any hero profession, as a magical girl, I am legally required to bring false hope to the masses, through lies, cheats and tricks. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention plunder and murder. Hm? Maybe I should consider being a hero as a profession. Nah! It's too much effort, and not nearly enough benefits.
One of the rules are to keep contestants from messing with each other during the contest, so they can't cheat by disturbing them at crucial moments. The 2nd round hadn't officially started yet cause some schmucks were running late, but the timer finally ran out and they got disqualified, while the phantom toast got banished to his advantageous workbench, ruining my perfect view of the mystery box.
"THE PILL YOU NEED TO MAKE IS THE LEGANDARY GRADE 'HOLLOW LIFE' PILL! YOU CAN NOW BEGIN!" The ref said.
While everyone got busy I started doing some stretching exercises, got to work on gluing my crooked wand into shape using a conveniently sticky herb paste I made from an unnecessary ingredient. Did some marble shooting under my bench. I then got to cooking and made some pancakes that were immediately confiscated by the ref cause he got pissed I didn't make some for him too, and definitely not because I covered the expensive alchemy equipment they let me borrow in pancake batter. Either way, with 5 minutes left on the clock I got to work.
"Okey dokey! Let's get started! Let's grind up some leaves! Heat up some water! Put the powder in a paper bag! Pour the water in a cup and let the bag soak for a couple minutes! And its teatime!" I said, before enjoying a nice cup of tea, while I waited for the time to run out.
"CONTESTANT! PLEASE PRESENT YOUR PILLS TO BE EVALUATED!!!"
I then walked up to the judges to present my pills.
"Miss Su! You seem to be rather disinterested in your task! Are we right to assume you wish to withdraw from this contest?" The old judge in the middle asked.
"Nope!"
"Then where is your pill?" The wrinkly old judge to the left asked
"Where? Well, bibbidy bobbidy bo! Check under your stools!"
"DO YOU TAKE US FOR FOOLS LASS! WE WATCHED YOU PLAY AROUND THE ENTIRE TIME! YOU MADE NO PILLS, SO STOP PLAYING AROUND AND JUST GE-!"
"Whoa! There really is something under our chairs!" The bearded middleman said, cutting off the old lady to the right.
Upon hearing the old wizard-lookalike's words, the other two looked down to find the results of my sick marble shooting skills sitting under their chairs.
"Hm? You're right! How did that get there?"
"Lass, how did you?"
"With a dash of hope, a pinch of dreams, and the power of a magical girl!"
After the wand-maintenance, I took the pot of pills and played a game of pachinko while hiding in the space under the desk. It was pretty stressful to get all three chairs with limited ammunition, while having to consider the fact that there are just so many times a pill can bounce off a surface before crumbling, on top of having to finish before the ref got suspicious and checked up on the little cave under my table. There was also the part where I had to calculate the distance, force and angles to use in order to get the balls where I wanted without a significant drop in quality. Good thing they were so focused on what was happening above the workbench, or my magic trick would have failed.
*sniff*
*sniff*
I then watched the three old guys almost had a heart attack while frantically staring, sniffing, and licking the pills. One of them stared so hard he needed to up his prescription glasses for a telescope just so he could get a better look. Drug addiction is pretty scary to see up close.
"This! This is impossible, right?!"
"Yes, and yet here it is!"
"100%! IT HAS A 100% PURITY!" The wizard spoke.
Not knowing it is only a 99.9996738% cause of the dirt on the ground.
Because of the dirt and microorganisms that got mixed in during my pachinko game, they are really just 99.9996738%. To think this tournament can only afford judges that would make the rooky mistake of not checking down to the 4th decimal, and just when I thought this rundown moon couldn't get any sadder.
"Sweet victory for magical girl! Yay!" I said in a happy tone.
*Swoosh*
"LASS, YOU HAVE TO TELL US WHERE THESE PILLS CAME FROM?!"
"HOW WAS IT MADE?!"
"WHO WAS IT THAT MADE THEM?!"
The three old-timers said, as they started shaking me back and forth for answers so fast my neck almost broke from the whiplash.
"I-T W-A-S M-E A-N-D M-Y M-A-G-I-C-A-L G-I-R-L P-O-W-E-R!!!" I spat out.
"WHAT?!"
"STOP WITH THE LIES LASS! WE WATCHED YOU FOOL AROUND ON STAGE THE ENTIRE TIME! EVEN A GRANDMASTER WOULDN'T BE CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS IN HIS LIFETIME, LET ALONE A MEASLY HOUR! WHEN WOULD YOU HAVE HAD THE TIME TO MAKE THESE?!"
"A magical girl never reveals her secrets!" I said, doing a cute pose.
"STOP MESSING AROUND!!!"
"PLEASE, ELDERS! CONTROL YOURSELVES!!!"
Just as the three looked like they wanted to claw out the brain from my skull to try and get the answers that way, the refs and security finally came to their senses and dragged the elderly back to the retirement home they escaped from.
"Bye, bye! Have a nice night, and don't forget to take your dementia pills!" I said, waving a white handkerchief as I watched the old folk be dragged away kicking and screaming.
"PLEASE, EXCUSE THEIR OUTBURST! WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIANCING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES! THE RESULTS OF THE 2ND ROUND WILL BE VERIFIED AND REVEALED BEFORE THE START OF THE NEXT ROUND! NOW IF EVERYONE BUT MISS SU, LEAVE UNTIL THE START OF THE FINALS! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!" The ref announced over the speakers, before he gestured for me to follow along.
"Okey dokey! Lead the way mister man!" I said as I let him lead me down the dark corridor towards what I assumed was the bad guy's secret lair.
Inside the lair I was made to take a sketchy drug test. They wanted to see me make my pills again, so I just threw some more ingredients in a pot, let it simmer for a second with the lid on, before dropping out some more pills. They then tried to force me to do it again with the lid up, but the golden rule of every magic profession dictates that I keep at least some secrets, and so I exercised my right to 'nope' anything I don't want to do, and the lid stayed down. Either way, with my validity confirmed, I was soon rescued from this unlawful confinement, as the phantom detective signal reached my scapegoat and he came a knocking at the door to tell them to stop being bad boys. After that, I was set free to wander for about five seconds because they had tried to fake my death certificate to get me disqualified, while they conducted their evil drug tests in secret.
"HELLO EVERYBODY! IT'S YOU'RE FAVORITE MAGICAL ALCHEMIST HERE TO TELL YOU I'M BACK IN THE RING!!!" I shouted as I hopped up on stage.