Two years had passed since Saito Kurogane had mysteriously appeared in this world, and to say a lot had changed would be an understatement.
First of all — he could walk now. And not just the wobbly, barely-upright type of toddler stumble. No, Saito had mastered the ancient art of Not-Falling-Over™. Granted, it took him months of crashing into furniture, walls, and occasionally other kids to get there. But now? He strutted around like he owned the damn place.
The caregivers at the orphanage were constantly amazed.
"Oh my goodness! Look at him go!"
"He's so talented!"
"Maybe even Hiruzen-sama will notice his potential!"
They whispered among themselves like gossiping hens. Meanwhile, Saito walked past them with his nose so high up you'd think he was trying to sniff clouds.
'Tch. Of course I can walk,' he thought smugly. 'I've got the memories of my past life! I should be able to run a marathon by now!'
Unfortunately for Saito, this overconfidence often resulted in him running straight into doors. But hey, baby steps.
As Saito marched down the hallway one morning, a caregiver poked her head out from a nearby room.
"There's my little Saito! How are you today? Are you excited for the festival?" she beamed, crouching down to his level and patting his head.
"Yes, ne-san!" Saito replied in the sweetest, most adorable baby voice he could muster. 'Gotta keep up the innocent act. Can't have them suspecting my true genius yet,' he thought.
"Ohhh! You're just the cutest!" she squealed, grabbing his chubby cheeks and stretching them like dough.
'Okay! That's enough face pulling! I'm not Play-Doh, woman!' Saito screamed internally while maintaining a perfectly innocent smile.
"Alright, Saito-chan, let's get you dressed for the festival!"
Little did she know, Saito had his own mission for tonight.
MISSION: Acquire Alcohol. No Matter the Means.
After getting dressed, Saito and his caregiver headed out into the festival-filled streets of Konoha. Lanterns lit the village, food stalls lined every corner, and the smell of grilled meats and sweet treats danced through the air.
Saito's little legs wobbled as he walked beside his caretaker, but he proudly kept pace. He was the only kid from the orphanage allowed to attend since he could actually walk and speak fluently. The caregivers saw "potential" in him. Little did they know, his true potential involved booze and scheming.
As they walked, Saito watched families laughing together, kids a few years older than him playing with sparklers, and couples strolling hand-in-hand.
'Man… I want my life to be like this. Peaceful, fun… and slightly drunk,' he thought.
Then his eyes caught something that made his tiny heart skip a beat.
Shinobi. Specifically, Uchiha shinobi.
Tall, calm, and oozing power, they walked by with their iconic fan crest proudly displayed on their backs.
'Holy crap! That's the Uchiha! Damn, they really do look cool in person. No wonder Sasuke thought he was hot stuff,' Saito thought, practically vibrating with excitement.
"Ne-san! Ne-san! Are those shinobi?!" he asked, pointing dramatically like a child discovering dinosaurs for the first time.
The caregiver smiled. "Yes, sweetie. They're from the Uchiha clan. Very powerful ninja. But people like us can't dream of being like them, so you behave, alright?"
'Ha! Speak for yourself. Once I get my hands on more sake, I'll outpower those guys before I even hit puberty,' Saito thought while nodding obediently on the outside.
"But I want to be a shinobi too, ne-san!" he said, giving her big puppy eyes.
"Of course you can! But you'll have to work hard, sweetie. Not everyone's born into a powerful family, you know."
'Pfft. Hard work? Nah, I've got a secret weapon: alcohol. And with it, I'll get strong, get noticed by the Hokage, and snag some juicy forbidden jutsu!'
His scheming thoughts were briefly interrupted by booming fireworks lighting up the night sky. The whole crowd stopped to admire them, necks tilted upward in awe.
And that's when Saito saw it.
A nearby bench.
A half-finished sake bottle.
Completely unattended.
'Jackpot.'
With his tiny ninja-like reflexes, Saito waddled over, swiped the bottle like a professional pickpocket, and quickly tilted his head back.
GULP. GULP.
The sake burned slightly going down, but… damn, it tasted refreshing. Way better than anything he imagined.
His cheeks turned red, his body tingled, and he felt like he just got hit by a wave of divine energy.
What Saito didn't realize was that his Alcohol System kicked in instantly.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]
[You drank 2 sips of sake.]
[Alcohol absorbed.]
[Chakra Increase +1]
[Minor cell enhancement activated.]
He grinned ear to ear, feeling stronger, fuzzier, and slightly buzzed — which is what you'd expect when a three-year-old downs sake.
The fireworks ended and his caregiver, who had just noticed him, screamed like she saw a ghost.
"SAITO!!! What are you drinking?! Where did you get that?!" she shouted, frantically grabbing the bottle from his chubby hands.
'Uh oh.'
Despite the situation, Saito couldn't help but think:
'Why… do I want more?'
As his caregiver scolded him, her words flew right past his tipsy little head, which was busy plotting his next sake heist.