My husband has been divorced three times, and every single time, it was because of his mother, my dear mother-in-law, the queen of passive-aggressive evil.
Let me tell you, she's a real piece of work. For his first wife, she made a special tonic soup. The secret ingredient? The beloved pheasant that the daughter-in-law had raised for three years.
For the second wife, she threw a grand celebration party, except she scheduled it on the anniversary of the poor girl's father's death.
For the third wife, she pretended to have a heart-to-heart chat, then turned around and broadcast all of her daughter-in-law's secrets to the entire extended family, including the neighbor's cat.
Everyone who knows the truth has warned me not to marry into this dumpster fire of a family.
But here's the thing: I've been married five times myself, and I've managed to drive five terrifying mother-in-laws to the point of remarrying just to escape me.
So, my dearest new mother-in-law, Madam Wang, will you be the sixth to fall?
On the second day after our wedding day, bright and early, Madam Wang made dumplings.
Now, in the North, that's the highest form of hospitality. But I couldn't bring myself to feel happy.
There were four plates of dumplings on the table. Three of them looked like they'd been through a car accident.
But the plate in front of me? Not only was it served on a pink dish, but each dumpling was perfectly shaped, like little works of art.
It was so obvious there was something fishy going on.
And I'm not just being paranoid.
My husband, Zhang Wei, has been divorced three times, and each of his ex-wives ended up with a reputation for being "unfilial" and "horrible" to their mother-in-law.
Now, none of those women have remarried.
Meanwhile, Madam Wang has become the patron saint of suffering mothers-in-law, and all the relatives feel sorry for her.
Trusting her would be like trusting the devil.
What kind of "good person" drives away three daughters-in-law?
When she noticed I hadn't touched my food, Madam Wang fired up a family group video call.
Suddenly, my phone screen was filled with five aunts and an uncle's wife, all staring at me like a panel of judges on a reality show.
Auntie Chen's eyes lit up.
"Wang Xiuying, you're so good to your daughter-in-law! No wonder you messaged me at 3 a.m.—you were up early making dumplings!"
"Tsk tsk, those dumplings look delicious! Xiaoyan, hurry up and eat! They'll get cold, and you wouldn't want to waste your mother-in-law's hard work."
I looked down, wondering how I could discreetly get rid of the dumplings.
Suddenly, Madam Wang reached over, showing off three fresh cuts on her fingers, still oozing blood.
She made sure everyone on the video call could see.
"If Xiaoyan doesn't like them, I'll just make a new batch," she said, her voice dripping with martyrdom.
As soon as she finished, even my father-in-law and husband turned to stare at me.
Every single relative's eyes were filled with contempt, as if I were the world's most ungrateful person.
I had no choice, I had to eat the dumplings.
I picked one up and broke it open with my chopsticks.
The filling looked like zucchini and chicken. Smelled normal, just meaty.
Had I been overthinking things?
For a second, I actually felt guilty.
But the moment I took a bite, the guilt vanished.
A flavor more pungent than dog poop exploded in my mouth, shooting straight to my brain.
Only two words echoed in my mind:
Idiot.
I was cursing myself for believing in Madam Wang, and cursing her for her culinary crimes.
The filling was a toxic mix of bitter melon and raw ginger—the two most evil foods in existence, combined into a bioweapon.
The ginger had disguised itself as chicken, soaking up the meat juice, masquerading as a normal filling.
On top of that, she'd dumped in enough salt to kill a horse.
It was bitter, spicy, and salty all at once.
After just one bite, tears sprang to my eyes.
I remembered my five previous marriages, and how I'd survived five monstrous mothers-in-law. Back then, I never cried.
Later, when those mothers-in-law tried to mess with me and I fought back, I didn't cry even when I drove them to remarry out of spite.
But today, I really couldn't take it.
This dumpling was the last straw.