The silence fell on the room, dense and heavy, after Shinji's confession. He didn't dare raise his eyes as he felt Yoru's and Haruka's gaze on him.
While he felt as though the entire world held its breath, hanging by a thread, he saw it —a movement so light it could have gone unnoticed. Haruka quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. When she looked up, a smile stretched across her trembling lips.
"You see," she whispered softly, taking a step closer before continuing with a steadier voice, like a promise carved in stone: "That you don't have to carry this burden alone."
Yoru, who had remained silent until then, abruptly looked away. "Tch…" He rubbed the back of his neck with an irritated gesture, but in his slouched posture, the clench of his jaw and his tightly balled fists, Shinji glimpsed something else.
What he saw wasn't anger; it was rather a pain only Yoru could mask behind grumbles. Haruka, ignoring Yoru's reaction, knelt beside Shinji again. "We'll stay here for the night," she said while adjusting her jacket over her shoulders as if to ward off the room's chill."Tomorrow, before dawn… We'll head back to the refuge."
Shinji nodded weakly; with the adrenaline of the confession away, he no longer had the strength to speak, and his eyelids grew heavy. In the faint warmth of the room and Haruka's steady breath beside him and the inhuman exhaustion accumulated over the past days… He lay down slowly on the old mattress tucked in a corner.
His eyes fluttered and just before sleep claimed him entirely… a small, almost imperceptible smile formed at the corner of his battered lips.
"Maybe… maybe I'm not alone anymore."
---
A soft creak broke the silence, Haruka had risen before dawn with her cautious steps brushing the dusty floor. She approached the first mattress before kneeling as silently as she could. "Yoru…" she whispered softly.
She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, and Yoru jolted. His eyes snapped open, wide, drenched in sweat, and his breath was short and hoarse, as if he'd just escaped an invisible drowning.
He pushed Haruka's hand away with a brusque, almost panicked gesture. Haruka pulled back a fraction, her face crossed with worry."Yoru… are you okay?" she asked, her voice low, almost trembling.
Yoru, his gaze still not fully awake, clenched his teeth and he spat to his left, his tone heavy with suppressed rage: "How do you expect me to be okay…" he turned his head toward Shinji, still asleep, his features softened by exhausted slumber. "…when you look at him like that?" his voice nearly broke as the words were coming out of his mouth. "And yet…" before finishing his sentence, he stopped himself.
Haruka lowered her eyes; she didn't respond as the wind outside blew against the nailed-up boards on the windows, creaking like a forgotten whisper.
In the other corner of the room, Shinji stirred faintly, he slowly opened his eyes, still sticky with fatigue, and his blurry gaze swept the room before stopping on Haruka.
She was there, kneeling at the right of Yoru and in her eyes… that same look, the same one as at the refuge, the same one she had yesterday, a look that carried neither pity nor disgust, it was the look that was giving him hope, making him believe there was still good in this world, still a life to chase after.
He felt as if he didn't deserve that look. Shame rose in his throat as he clutched the dirty sheets between his fingers when he remembered how, at the refuge, they had accepted him and extended a hand without asking questions, and he just fled, he fled their trust, their warmth; he fled at the first shadow of doubt that brushed his heart.
His gaze slid back to Haruka when he felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. He no longer knew if this pain came from his wound…or from what he had just realized.
'Do I deserve this? Do I still deserve… to be accepted?' The doubt tightened around his throat like a rope.
Yoru was the first to stand, with a sharp gesture, he brushed the dust from his pants and straightened. For a moment, he stood still, staring at Haruka, then, as if suddenly remembering she could see him, he abruptly looked away.
Without a word, he took a few steps toward Shinji, still half-lying on the mattress, and extended his hand. Shinji, surprised, looked up at him.
Yoru growled through gritted teeth, unable to hide his irritation: "I'm only helping because you're injured." his hand trembled slightly, but he held it steady."Don't take it for… respect or anything else." He clenched his jaw, his words scraping his throat. "To me… you're not an ally. You never will be."
Shinji hesitated for a moment before placing his battered hand in Yoru's. The contact was brief, but despite the pain creeping back in the palm of his hand when it came into contact with Yoru's… he smiled.
Yoru grimaced, as if that simple smile made him want to punch a wall, he dropped Shinji's hand as quickly as Shinji stood. "Tch… don't make that face," he grumbled. He stepped back, crossing his arms, leaning against the farthest wall, but even from there, even unintentionally, he stood between Shinji… and the door.
Haruka watched them, and Yoru, still leaning against the wall, frowned when he saw her smile."Stop smiling like an idiot, you'll draw the whole neighborhood…"
A soft, true smile floated on her lips. "You two…" she murmured, so softly that only the silence could hear.
Yoru scratched the back of his head with an irritated grimace, as if trying to dispel the emotion hanging in the air. "Tch… No time for this." He let out an exasperated sigh. "We need to move before the city wakes up."
---
They got moving, and before leaving the safehouse, each pulled their hood over their head.
Outside, dawn had not yet broken the horizon. The city was still asleep, but not entirely; shadows haunted the alleys as anonymous silhouettes filled it, silhouettes of early merchants, scouts. Silhouettes whose eyes were watching the trio without intervening.
And among those gazes… Shinji felt it; they held the same gazes he had crossed before, and he started to hear murmurs that Haruka and Yoru didn't appear to notice.
"What's he still doing here… That monster."
"What do the Zephyrs want with him? He's as bad as they are."
"He's even worse."
His breath grew shorter, and his legs wanted to buckle, but he forced himself to stand as he inhaled deeply, pulling his hood tighter around his face and despite the invisible weight on his shoulders, despite the fear still beating somewhere inside him. He moved forward.
For the first time in a long time… he refused to let those shadows dictate his steps.
They moved quickly as the alleys stretched on, empty and twisted like scars. Haruka led the way, her gaze scanning every corner, every half-open window, and Yoru brought up the rear, one hand always resting on the hilt of his weapon.
Shinji followed, his heart beating in time with their steps. He watched, he listened, and every time he sensed a shadow move, every time he thought he heard a whisper, he didn't slow down. He just clenched his teeth and moved forward.
They took several detours through side alleys, passages between crumbling buildings, and paths where even rats hesitated to tread. At each intersection, Haruka paused briefly, glancing behind her, and Yoru checked the rooftops and windows.
No one appeared to be following them, not a sound of pursuit, and no hurried steps behind them. They were alone and finally, after long minutes of cautious walking… The refuge appeared.
Haruka approached first and knocked softly on the door in a discreet code and had a brief whispered conversation with the person on the other side of the doorThen the door cracked open. They passed through, and Shinji took two steps inside, breathing in the familiar air of the place when something brushed against his leg. He looked down to see it was the white cat, Neko, that was rubbing against him, purring softly, as if to say: "You're back."
"You see, you were missed," Haruka exclaimed. A light, almost involuntary, smile formed on Shinji's lips. Neko had stayed as Shinji had asked, waiting for him at the refuge's entrance.
Shinji crouched halfway, reaching out toward Neko. "Maybe Haruka's right. In this refuge… I might finally be accepted for who I really am." But before he could pet him, Haruka rushed toward him.
"No, Daichi! Don't…!" Haruka didn't even have time to finish her sentence before a blade, wrapped in a black shadow, pressed against Shinji's throat. The look Daichi gave Shinji was one reserved for the worst kind of filth.
"You're… nothing but a traitor."