Kenzo Mori was thirty-six hours into what upper management called a "minor overtime sprint"—and what any forensic pathologist would later call a slow corporate suicide.
The fluorescent lights above him buzzed and flickered like they, too, were trying to die. Below them sat Kenzo: slouched, hollow-eyed, and held together by caffeine, spite, and pure work inertia. His keyboard clacked like it was filing abuse claims. The coffee on his desk had fossilized. The ramen cup he microwaved at 2:37 AM had grown a suspicious crust.
"Just… a few more bug reports…"
His voice cracked. He hadn't spoken to another human in over a day. The office was empty, save for the lingering ghosts of missed deadlines and soulless corporate posters.
Teamwork Makes the Dream Work, chirped one, crooked on the wall.
Kenzo hadn't dreamed in three months.
He clicked "Submit Final Build." Then leaned back in his chair. Exhaled.
And never opened his eyes again.
---
SOMEWHERE ELSE…
Kenzo expected nothingness. Or maybe, generously, a funeral with bad snacks.
Instead, he got a loading screen.
---
> [Initializing: God-Tier Sloth Protocol v1.0...]
> [Congratulations, User. You have died.]
> [Cause of Death: Capitalism.]
---
He blinked. Floating in a vast black void, his feet touched nothing, and a glowing retro RPG interface hovered in the air before him. Pixel art clouds drifted lazily behind the menu, like even the graphics were on break.
"…Okay. Yeah. Definitely a psychotic break. This is what four all-nighters and a passive death wish get you."
---
> [Reincarnation Successful.]
> [Welcome, Kenzo Mori. You are now the exclusive host of the God-Tier Sloth Protocol.]
---
"God-Tier what now?"
The interface pulsed. A golden emblem appeared: a sleeping cat sprawled on a velvet throne, wearing a crown far too big for its head.
Then, a voice—soothing, female, and suspiciously smug—echoed inside his skull:
> "Welcome to your second life, chosen one. You have been granted a system forged by the Divine Lords of Chill. Your mission is simple: Relax. Rest. Recuperate. Power will come to you as you disengage from the madness of the world."
Kenzo stared.
"…You're telling me I get stronger… by doing nothing?"
> "Affirmative. Your stress levels in your past life were deemed legally criminal. As divine compensation, this system is calibrated to reward maximum inactivity."
He sat down instinctively, just to test it.
---
> [Achievement Unlocked: Sit Down and Shut Up (Lv.1)]
> [+100 EXP]
---
A pleasant jingle played. Kenzo blinked again.
"You've got to be kidding me."
> "You have also received your starter class: [Apathetic Sage]."
---
> [Class Perk: Aura of Inertia]
> All enemies within a 5-meter radius have a 30% chance to lose the will to fight. Stacks with boredom.
---
Kenzo laughed. Actually laughed.
For the first time in months, something made sense.
---
LATER…
He awoke to sunlight.
The void was gone. In its place: a meadow. Bright, warm, lazy. Butterflies flitted like they had nowhere to be. Birds chirped like they were getting paid to do nothing. The sky stretched wide and blue, uncaring and perfect.
He was lying in the grass. His clothes had changed—black soft pants, a silken tunic, a draped half-cloak. Beside him, a staff rested like it had always belonged there.
---
> [New Quest: Do Absolutely Nothing for 10 Minutes.]
> [Reward: "Blank Mind" Passive Skill]
---
Kenzo squinted at the floating text.
"This is... literally insane."
> "Correction: This is leisure."
He sighed, shrugged, and laid back down.
Ten minutes passed. He didn't move.
---
> [Quest Complete.]
> [Skill Acquired: Blank Mind (Passive)]
> Mental attacks and distractions have a reduced effect. Also great for napping through meetings.
---
Kenzo stretched, hands behind his head.
"So what happens if I never do anything again?"
> "Theoretical model suggests you will eventually achieve divine ascension. Also, there's a beanbag throne in your future."
He smirked.
He was about to test the theory when a shadow fell across him.
A low growl shattered the peace.
Kenzo opened one eye.
A massive wolf, twice the size of a horse, stood before him. Fur bristled with dark energy. Crimson eyes glowed like coals. Its breath steamed the grass.
It snarled.
Kenzo sat up, very slowly.
"Oh. Cool. A boss monster. I assume running's not an option?"
> "Running would void your Sloth Bonus. Highly discouraged."
The wolf lunged.
Kenzo didn't move.
A subtle vibration filled the air.
The second the wolf crossed into his radius, it hesitated. Mid-air. Confused. Its eyes unfocused. Limbs twitched. It wobbled—
—and then belly-flopped beside him with a thud, snoring like a chainsaw.
Kenzo blinked.
"…Did it just fall asleep?"
> "Congratulations. Aura of Inertia successfully triggered. You have defeated [Dire Moonfang Alpha] through apathy. +2,000 EXP."
---
> [Achievement Unlocked: "So Lazy, It Hurts"]
> [Skill Unlocked: Nap Zoning (Area Control)]
---
Kenzo looked at the unconscious death-beast.
Then the perfect blue sky.
"Yeah. I think I'm gonna like it here."
---
BACK IN THE SKIES…
Far above the world, in the floating Pavilion of Clouds, twelve ancient figures gathered around a glowing orb. In it: the image of Kenzo, peacefully lounging next to a snoring boss monster.
"He really beat a Dire Alpha… by doing nothing?" asked an old man whose beard had its own zip code.
A veiled woman with golden eyes leaned closer. "He's only just arrived. Imagine what happens when he starts meditating under a waterfall or—heaven forbid—brews tea."
A hooded figure chuckled. "A lazy god. Last time we had one, three empires collapsed and one sect became a noodle shop."
A gong sounded.
"Prepare the scrolls," a voice commanded. "A new contender has entered the game."
The clouds trembled.
The Chill Era has begun.