Chapter 182: First, Face the Past
"Is that so... So in the end, I really am unnecessary..."
"That's not what I meant—"
"I'll go back first, I'm a little tired."
Watching Emilia turn and walk away, Subaru knew full well he had hurt this kindhearted girl.
He should apologize, should explain that his true intentions were nothing like what she believed. But though he lifted his hand, he couldn't reach out to stop her from leaving.
His feet felt glued to the ground, unable to move.
He wanted to call her name, but not a single sound came out.
In the end... her figure disappeared from his sight.
What happened afterward? Subaru couldn't even remember how he spent that entire day.
The only thing he knew was that a stiff smile remained frozen on his face. It felt as though only by maintaining that smile could he keep his own existence from dissolving.
Before coming to the Sanctuary, he'd gotten along with everyone so well. But after arriving here, everything had changed.
His relationships with the mansion group, with Otto, with the others—all had deteriorated to a disastrous state.
This unbearable bullying, this broken state of bonds... it was as if Subaru had been dragged back to how he was before he ever participated in that game...
Was he repeating the same mistakes all over again?
Standing apart from the crowd, Subaru forced his smile as he watched Emilia, encouraged by the villagers, make her way toward the Trial grounds.
Right up until Emilia entered the Trial site, Subaru never managed to speak to anyone.
No, it was more like—he was treated as if he didn't even exist. Not a single person realized he was standing so close by.
Hiding his clenched fists behind his back, the smile still fixed on his face, Subaru carefully recalled what he'd done after quarreling with Emilia.
He had spoken to the villagers, explaining the Sanctuary situation and asking them to wait patiently until he could bring them back.
After that, he went back to his room and spent the entire afternoon in a daze.
Then night fell, and he followed everyone to this place. Though he had returned once again to being alone, that was fine. As long as he was the only one hurt, as long as only he carried the painful, sorrowful memories—that was enough.
His gaze fixed on the Trial ground glowing like fireflies. Ten minutes had already passed since Emilia had gone inside. He didn't know how long the Trial would last. If everything went smoothly... that would be best...
Just as that thought rose in his mind, the glowing Trial grounds suddenly went dark. Subaru froze in place, stunned by the sudden loss of light.
Before he could even understand what was happening, the sound of uproar reached his ears—the panicked voices of the crowd.
Among them, one comment stood out like a dagger:
"This doesn't look good, does it?"
Eyes widening, Subaru's body moved before his mind could react.
He dashed toward the Trial grounds at full speed, ignoring the cries of shock from the people behind him. None of that mattered anymore.
Racing through the long passage, he burst into the chamber—only to find Emilia collapsed on the floor.
"Emilia!"
Rushing to her side, Subaru immediately checked her breathing. Discovering she was still alive and hadn't suffered any obvious injuries, the tension in his body finally loosened.
And in that moment of release, a familiar male voice echoed in his ears—
"First, you must face your past."
"What—!"
"Ah!"
Subaru jolted upright from bed, gasping for air as if he'd been suffocating. After forcing his breathing under control, he turned his head, scanning the unfamiliar room.
"This is..."
His eyes, full of confusion, blinked rapidly as he rubbed them. He murmured to himself—
"Stayed up too late...? It feels like something's off. I'll just sleep a little more..."
He lay back down, pulling the blanket over himself, yawning as he prepared to drift off. It had been so long since he'd gotten proper rest. Since he was back here now, he might as well take advantage of it.
"Huh? Have I even been going out recently? Did I even do anything exhausting lately...?"
Sleep vanished.
Rolling restlessly on the bed, Subaru felt a rising sense of irritation in his chest. His gaze drifted to the wall clock.
And the moment he saw it—his eyes were glued to it, unable to look away. Sitting up abruptly, slipping on his slippers, he glared at the time displayed.
"Ah... so it's because of this. Once the time comes, then... No—that's not it! It's similar, but—"
"Don't space out!"
"Wahh!!! That hurts!!!"
"What's wrong? You train every day, yet you're still losing to a middle-aged man?"
"No way I'd lose! It's my turn now!"
"Wait! Ow ow ow!!!"
"Hah! You've grown old, Dad—getting reverse-flipped so easily by me. That's my victory!"
"I surrender, I surrender!!!"
"You think I'd let you escape? This time I'll show you just how much stronger I've gotten!"
"So weird! Why is your strength so much greater all of a sudden, Subaru?"
"Of course it's because I've been—"
"An opening!"
"Ow ow ow ow!!"
The sound of knocking broke into the roughhousing. Both father and son stopped their scuffle on the bed, turning toward the woman standing at the door.
"You two—Subaru, Father—Mom's hungry. Come down and eat breakfast."
Hearing that, the middle-aged man released Subaru's leg.
"Oops, sorry, sorry. Got carried away bonding with Subaru. If you're hungry, go ahead and eat first."
"Honestly, Dad, can't you find a different way to bond with your son? Instead of barging into my room every morning to wrestle?"
"Aw, don't say that. This is the best way to strengthen father-son bonds!"
"You two, stop bickering already. We're family. Why eat separately? We should all eat together."
"You're right, of course. As expected of my wife."
"Come on, Subaru, let's eat. For you, I worked hard to make a full table of dishes today."
Hearing that, Subaru's eyes stopped on the woman's face. Her eyes, which always looked a little sharp, now brimmed with gentleness, her expression softened by a warm smile.
His eyes widened, his nose suddenly stung, and tears began to gather.
Hurriedly, Subaru turned away, sniffling, rubbing at his eyes with his hands.
"So strange... why do I suddenly feel like crying..."
"Ah, I know. I'll come right down."
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