The driver was deeply shaken by the Vice Director's back.
If only he were a writer, he thought, this scene alone could inspire a masterpiece—
"The Back of the Vice Director"—a tale to move the world.
That back was tall.
Solid.
Burdened.
A barrier against the monstrous evil that approached.
And indeed, Vice Director Li's back was imposing. But his expression as he faced the octopus demon was anything but calm—his forehead dripped sweat, his throat worked as he gulped nervously, and his calves trembled uncontrollably. Were it not for the lab coat covering his legs, his fear would have been obvious to all.
"…Could you… maybe go easy on me?"
Now standing face to face with the monster, he suddenly remembered: I'm just an ordinary man.
A defenseless mortal with a metal pipe.
What could he possibly do?
Surely a friendly negotiation would be better.
He attempted to reason with the octopus demon—hoping it might understand.
But the demon's tentacles rippled like waves—and with a CRACK, one shot forward, hurling him backward like a ragdoll.
"Vice Director!"
The driver cried out and instinctively lunged forward, breaking the fall with his own body. The two men tumbled together and slammed into the mute man on the ambulance roof.
The mute had just finished scribbling his latest "SOS" when the human projectiles arrived. He opened his eyes wide in horror. There was no time to crawl away.
If only he could speak—he'd be cursing them all to hell.
You weren't saving me? You aimed for me on purpose, didn't you?!
"Vice Director, are you all right?" the driver groaned.
"I'm fine," Li Laifu coughed. "Just… a bit out of shape from lack of exercise. You've done well. If we survive, I'll see you promoted."
"Th-thank you, Vice Director!"
"…I don't like that word 'Vice.'"
"Yes, Director."
"You should run. That thing's a monster. If you have any decency left in you… carry us while you flee."
Before he could finish, both he and the driver fainted.
Their overconfidence had finally caught up with them.
Lin Fan and Old Zhang exchanged glances, a bit puzzled. They had just been admiring how cute the creature looked—and then these people dropped like flies.
"Do you think there's something wrong with their heads?" Lin Fan asked, tapping his own temple.
"Maybe," Old Zhang said with a shiver. "Scary people."
The octopus demon approached, powerful and relentless. Cars in its way were shoved aside or thrown off the bridge entirely.
"It's coming closer…"
"Isn't the way it walks kind of… cute?"
"Yeah, definitely cute."
Lin Fan clutched his growling stomach.
Old Zhang scanned the surroundings. "No one's watching us. I'm gonna go look for tools. If we don't grab them now, those bad guys will take everything."
The demon finally reached Lin Fan, and the two locked eyes—one man, one monster.
A tentacle slithered toward Lin Fan and coiled around his neck, lightly tightening. With a little force, it could snap his neck like a twig.
Lin Fan looked at the smooth, glossy tentacle.
Drool slid down the corner of his mouth.
He smelled the sea—no, salt.
"This must taste amazing."
Unable to resist, he sank his teeth into the demon's tentacle and ripped off a piece with a feral bite.
The demon shrieked in agony.
Its whole body trembled, eyes brimming with tears.
It couldn't speak, but inside it screamed:
"Daddy! Help! The human is eating me!"
"It hurts! My hand! My beautiful hand!"
"This is outrageous!"
A tentacle whipped forward in retaliation, aiming to crush Lin Fan.
But Lin Fan caught it—with a single hand.
The demon froze in disbelief.
And then—
It found itself lifted into the air.
Lin Fan gripped the tentacle and began smashing the creature into the concrete.
BAM!
BAM!
Each impact cracked the bridge beneath them, leaving spiderweb fissures and small craters.
"Daddy… save me…"
The octopus demon was stunned. I'm a fearsome evil being! Why… why am I the one getting slammed into the ground? It hurts. It hurts so much I might die…
Lin Fan cheerfully swung the creature back and forth.
To him, this adorably naughty octopus was just being playful.
Well, then let's play!
Meanwhile, Old Zhang had found a treasure trove inside a car: a portable grill, oil, knives, spices…
He recognized every single item.
He'd seen them all on the TV show "Delicious Barbecue."
It made him drool every time.
He had dreamed of these tools, and now—he finally had them.
Tears welled up in his eyes.
"I can't believe it. Just like the show…"
Just as Old Zhang reveled in joy, a frantic voice called out.
"Old Zhang! Quick! It's dying!"
He ran over, still clutching his tools. "What happened?"
Lin Fan knelt beside the octopus, poking its limp tentacle. "I don't know. We were playing, and then it stopped moving. Is it dying? It's so cute—it can't die!"
Old Zhang looked at the still-slightly-breathing demon.
His brows furrowed. "This is serious."
"It's dying."
"I'll try acupuncture."
He took out a precious silver needle case—a gift from the one-eyed man. That man had been kind to them… though he refused to be friends.
With practiced precision, Old Zhang inserted the first needle into the demon's tentacle.
Quick. Accurate. Ruthless.
Inside, the octopus screamed again:
"You said we were playing! But you're killing me!"
Lin Fan watched intently. "Stick one here too."
"Got it."
Second needle.
Third.
Fourth…
Thirteen needles in total.
By the thirteenth, the demon's simple mind was collapsing.
I'm just a baby octopus demon. Why are you doing this to me? My dad's going to eat you, you know!
Its remaining nerves barely twitched. Its tentacles no longer moved.
Old Zhang sealed the needle case, face full of sorrow.
"I did my best… but it's dead."
Lin Fan said solemnly, "Such a cute thing."
"Yes. So cute… and now it's dead. Are you hungry?"
"Starving."
"Perfect." Zhang lit up. "I found all these tools—exactly like the ones on TV! I know how to use them. And now that this cute thing's dead, we can finally eat it."
"Do you think it'll taste good?"
"Of course! The cuter they are, the tastier they are. Just wait—I'll set it up."
Soon, the grill was assembled.
How? Don't ask. Ask the heavens.
Lin Fan sat on a tentacle, slicing off a large chunk.
Old Zhang oiled the grill.
Sizzle.
The smell was heavenly.
He sprinkled green onions, pepper, and spices.
"You're amazing, Old Zhang," Lin Fan said, drooling.
"Hehehe." Old Zhang flipped the meat proudly, now a master chef.
The aroma filled the air—better than dog, better than snake.
Of course. The cutest is always the tastiest.
But the octopus wasn't dead.
Not yet.
It had only fainted.
Now, it felt something strange—as though its limbs were gone.
It tried to move, but no sensation came.
It opened its eyes… and saw.
Its own tentacles—roasting on the grill.
They smelled incredible.
Wait… WHAT?!
"No! That's my arm!"
"Old Zhang, it's alive!"
"What?"
The two looked at the dismembered head.
Six eyes met theirs.
Old Zhang was elated. "I did it! My acupuncture worked! It's alive! My medical knowledge paid off!"
"Yes!" Lin Fan beamed, chewing a greasy piece of tentacle. "You're amazing."
They were thrilled.
And then, quiet.
The two sat beside the grill, munching on tentacles, brows furrowed.
"…It's alive. That means we can't eat the head yet."
"Yeah…"
"But it's bleeding. Once it bleeds out, it'll die. Then we can eat the head."
"Right…"
They looked at each other and smiled.
What a brilliant plan. Such smart brains.
Then they sat cross-legged and stared at the octopus.
Quietly.
Patiently.
Waiting for it to die.
The octopus demon shivered under their gaze, its inner voice howling:
"Dad…"
"Please… save me…"
"I'm just a head now…"
(End of Chapter)