Chapter 1: The Bowling Ball Emperor
Liang Feng died like an idiot. It wasn't a heroic sacrifice or a tragic illness. tomb, a reckless attempt to measure the intricate carvings on an ancient wall.
He slid. Like a human bowling ball, he careened down the dusty incline, the sound of his own flailing a pathetic echo in the darkness. His journey ended abruptly with a sickening crack as his head connected squarely with the moss-covered, millennia-old stone shell of a turtle statue.
The last thing he saw, through a rapidly blooming haze of pain and dark spots, was the turtle's stony, weathered face. It looked oddly serene, almost… judging him.
When he opened his eyes again, the cold, musty air of the tomb was gone.
He wasn't on cold stone anymore. His body was sinking into layers of impossibly soft fabric—silk sheets, cool against his skin.
He blinked, the light blinding him.
Golden lanterns cast a warm, honeyed glow on a room of impossible luxury. Jade pillars spiraled up to a towering, painted ceiling. Everything screamed of a palace straight out of every historical fantasy he had ever devoured.
He scrambled up, disoriented, and stumbled towards a polished bronze mirror.
And saw a stranger.
A man stared back at him who was, frankly, absurdly handsome. Unfairly handsome. Perfect jawline, eyes like polished obsidian, and skin as flawless as sculpted jade.
Whose face is this?!
A moment later, a flurry of hurried footsteps stopped outside the door. A maid burst into the room, her face pale with panic and relief.
"Your Majesty! You collapsed right after the coronation! Are you alright?"
Liang Feng blinked.
"...Your Majesty? Coronation?? Me??? Emperor???"
Before he could process the impossible makeover, the very air in the room trembled. The candles bent sideways. The shadows on the wall snapped still.
A cold, divine pressure wrapped the room like invisible chains.
A figure stepped out of thin air. Tall, radiant, and yet, carrying an air of complete, profound boredom.
The Divine Emperor.
AM I THE CHOSEN ONE?
"No."
The Divine Emperor shut him down immediately. "Your death was funny. Pathetic, but funny. I needed entertainment. So I picked you up."
Liang Feng felt spiritually bullied. The Divine Emperor flicked his sleeve, and three glowing boards appeared in midair.
IMPERIAL COURT — INFLUENCE STATUS
You, the Emperor ......... 5% (Dogshit Tier)
Second Prince ............. 25%
Empress Dowager ........... 20%
Noble Clans ............ 30%
Neutral Officials ......... 20%
Liang Feng stared, deeply offended.
"...FIVE? Why am I five?!"
The Divine Emperor rubbed his temples, sighing. "Because you are newly crowned, inexperienced, and everyone thinks you'll die before winter."
He pointed at the Second Prince's name. "Your brother has been building power for years. Members of the royal bloodline do not age visibly. A hundred years can pass, and the royal family still looks in their twenties."
"So he looks young... but he's actually old and experienced?"
"Exactly. He's charming, clever, patient, and already planning how to remove you. He thinks the throne belongs to him."
"And the clans?"
"They don't care who sits on the throne. They care about who benefits them more."
"And the neutral officials?"
"They're waiting to see who wins. Not you."
Liang Feng collapsed onto the bed. "AM I SUPPOSED TO SAVE THE EMPIRE?! BECOME A GREAT EMPEROR?!"
The Divine Emperor's expression didn't change.
"No."
"You are supposed to not die. And also entertain me."
Liang Feng screamed, "WAIT— GIVE ME ONE HELPFUL ADVICE!"
The Divine Emperor stopped dissolving.
"Don't trust anyone."
He leaned in, his voice a low wave. "Especially those who smile at you."
Then he vanished.
The room fell silent. Liang Feng sat alone. He had 5%. His brother wanted the throne. The clans wanted a puppet. The Divine Emperor wanted entertainment.
Liang Feng covered his face.
"...I'm absolutely screwed."