Chapter 16
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" Ah... Damn... That... It hurts..."
Every word came out as if it were tearing my insides apart, and before I could finish the sentence, my body fell onto the white bed.
You're probably wondering what happened, right? Well, let's go back a little to explain.
You know I'm 16, right? A few months ago, when I was exactly 15 years, 7 months, 15 days, 6 hours, 5 minutes, and 7 seconds old... Um, sorry, I got carried away with the details.
As I was saying, at the age of fifteen, my 956156196th attempt at suicide was successful! Of course, you didn't read the number...
Anyway... My talent for failing even at suicide is remarkable! I can apply to the Guinness Book of World Records for the most unsuccessful person in ending their life!
Do you know how happy I was when I succeeded? That was my goal from the beginning. However, I discovered something new. In all my previous attempts, I didn't really succeed in killing myself because of outside interference, and when I succeeded without outside interference, I discovered that after I died, I didn't die, but remained alive for some reason. I don't really know why.
I took advantage of the fact that no one was with me to experience death over and over again until I discovered something. Every time I died, I noticed that it was futile. It was like an invisible thread preventing my experiment from succeeding.
I attributed the reason to my weak powers, thinking that my death must be carried out with a certain amount of force, under certain conditions, or by a certain person or in a certain place. So... as you may have guessed, I had my poor servant Cleara try to kill me in various situations and places.
At first, I thought Cleara would refuse. Who would be willing to kill their master? But I was shocked by her sudden agreement.
The little bitch hesitated at first, but she agreed! Damn it, guys, I didn't expect that response from her.
I treat her badly, so I understand, but she foiled my previous suicide attempts, so I was surprised by her agreement.
Maybe she couldn't stand seeing my handsome face anymore and wanted to kill me? Who knows...
Since then, Cleara has tried to kill me so many times that it's become like a shoulder massage for us, or at least for me. She cleans up the place and wipes away the blood after I die...
Cleara's attempts to kill me became like a tragicomic series! We tried all the scenarios.
Poisoning dinner.
It failed because she's a worse cook than me, and the result was days of diarrhea... but not the desired death!
She pushed me off the balcony.
But she forgot we were on the first floor. The result? A sprained ankle...
She tied me up in the courtyard to burn me as a witch. As if she were a law enforcer and savior.
The result? A rainstorm flooded the place!
We've started treating this as a family activity, discussing our daily mistakes over tea. Maybe I should buy her a book on how to kill young masters for beginners by Li Chi?
Conclusion: Cleara is the worst assassin in history!
Once... I noticed her tears as she tried to stab me!
It turns out she's really afraid of losing me! Maybe that's why she keeps failing? Or is it because she loves me since we were little?
Two months ago, I decided not to let her kill me again. I took pity on Cleara. I didn't expect to feel pity for her, since I vowed to kill her when I grew up!
Today, I tried to get Sergia to kill me, as a different experience of dying at the hands of a knight with greater power than a little maid. Unfortunately, his guard stopped him, but the main reason wasn't his guard, it was my stupid guard... Ferma.
In the end, I decided to punish Cleara for being rejected by Sergia. I know it's not her fault, but you have to take advantage of opportunities to die, right?
So you know what happened, Cleara came to my room and killed me again, but of course it didn't work... I stood like a wild horse, with the bedsheet stained red with my blood, and looked at the trembling Cleara with contempt.