[TW: Implied Past Sexual Assault/Drugging]
Noel Arden isn't very impressive.
Average height, pale, dull slate eyes, messy brown hair falling to his shoulders. Nothing worth mentioning, and very little resemblance to his notoriously handsome younger brother. In fact, Jade didn't see much of Beckett at all in Noel. Their hair color, eye color, and facial structures are different, and Noel's frame is much slighter. Not to mention his nervous, stuttering demeanor couldn't be any farther from Beckett's willful arrogance.
Even aside from being D-class, there really is nothing remarkable about Noel Arden. And yet Jade can't stop thinking about him.
"I just don't get it." Jade slams his locker door shut. "Why is he even here?"
Beckett pauses scrubbing his hair dry and lowers the towel to loop around his neck. "Don't tell me you're still talking about—"
"Your brother doesn't make any sense."
Beckett groans as Jade sits down on the bench to tie his shoes. "Dude, leave it already."
"Why does he work here?" Jade asks, ignoring him. "Why would he want to work at the same agency as you?"
"I don't know, man. Maybe he's too dumb to realize it's a bad idea."
"He didn't strike me as stupid," Jade argues, switching to the second shoe. "He's gotta know it would be easier for him somewhere else."
"Tell him that, not me." Beckett flings his towel into his locker and starts yanking out his street clothes. "I think he should just leave Paradigm work altogether, but he won't. So stupid."
Jade straightens up. "Why do you want him to leave?"
"I'm done talking about this," Beckett snaps, shoving his limbs into his clothes. "How are your levels?"
Jade glowers. "Bad. What else were you expecting?"
"Don't bite my head off, man—you know Hollander and Penn are gonna be on you about doing a session."
"They can both kiss my ass for all I care." Jade pushes himself to his feet, shaking his head to loosen his damp curls. "If any of those little parasites touch me, I'll quit."
"Dude, c'mon." Beckett scowls, stepping into his shoes. "You know you have to try. I get that Genevieve is a pill, but what about Sarah? Or Wesley? You got along alright with him last time."
An involuntary shudder laces up Jade's spine and his stomach turns at the mere thought of guidance. "I can't," he bites out.
"Jade."
Sighing, Jade rubs at his forehead. "You don't get it, Beck," he says for maybe the dozenth time. "My whole life, guiding has felt like shit—it's been awful, but I sucked it up because it was necessary and I didn't know any better." He drops his hand, looking over at his friend imploringly. "But now I know what it's supposed to feel like," he emphasizes. "Now I know how it feels when it doesn't hurt. How am I supposed to go back to getting my core mangled every time one of those white coats decides my levels are too high?"
Beckett just stares at him, brows knit.
"You can't understand, because you can sync normally," Jade continues. "You don't know what it's like to have to tear yourself apart just to stay alive!"
"But what if you can't find this person?" Beckett points out. "Are you just going to let yourself melt down? Give up?"
"I'll find them," Jade swears. "I know they're out there somewhere. I'm just…I'm just missing something."
Beckett grimaces, putting Jade in mind of Noel's cringing anxiety when Jade had him pinned to the wall. The expression looks the same on both brothers.
That's at least one thing they have in common.
----------
Jade discovers another shortly after. Beckett and Noel both inherited the same short fuse.
"Jade, stop!"
He can feel Juliet yanking on his arm but the anger inside him is boiling too hot to contain. A rack of test tubes flies into the wall and shatters but he can't look away from the closed door, from the empty shoes still bubbling in the tile. Energy hums beneath his skin.
"For fuck's sake—Jade, I'm going to inject you if you don't stop!"
The threat of energy suppressants reaches through the furious haze and Jade takes a sharp breath. It takes effort to reel his power back in; his corruption levels are so close to the edge that self control is a strain. The various office supplies and electronics floating in the air all crash to the floor at once.
"I'm going to rip that little bastard's head off," he snarls, tearing away from Juliet and stalking to the other end of the room.
"And then how would he guide you?" she asks, exasperated. "You need him, Jade."
"That selfish little son of a bitch—the next time I get my hands on him—"
"Jade!"
Jade lets out a growl, swinging around to kick the closest table. It rattles violently. "Why does this have to be so fucking hard?!" he shouts. "I hate this! I'm so fucking—! Guides are all the fucking same! Entitled, snobby little brats—!"
He rages around the lab until he gets sick of it and then throws himself into the last upright chair, slumping over and burying his head in his hands. Pain throbs behind his eyes. He knows he shouldn't have used his powers like that, that it's just going to make him feel worse, but even just the memory of Noel disappearing through the door makes anger surge in his chest like acid. Furious, belligerent gray eyes burn in his mind and his energy roils like a sea inside of him, fighting to escape.
"That fucker," he hisses to the floor. "He'll regret this—after I tell Beckett everything, I'm going to—"
"Are you really going to do that?" Juliet cuts in coolly, picking her way around the mess to stand beside him. "Tell his brother?"
Jade picks up his head. "I warned him!"
She frowns, unimpressed. "If you do that, I can guarantee that boy will never have anything more to do with you. He'd no longer have anything to lose, would he?"
Swallowing back an instinctive rush of rage, Jade forces himself to absorb her words.
"Not to mention," she goes on pointedly, "you'd be betraying his trust. And he doesn't seem like the type to forgive."
If he's anything like Beckett, then that's true. Beckett never forgets a slight.
"So would you really do that?"
"No," Jade admits. Now that he can focus on anything other than his own racing pulse, the corrosive anger inside of him ebbs away, back into his core, where it'll wait until the next minor infraction. Upon actually considering it, Jade realizes he doesn't want to tell Beckett anyway. Noel seemed frantic that his brother not find out, and even if Jade doesn't know why, he recognizes that panic. "But what am I supposed to do?" he asks helplessly. "I can't—I need him."
Juliet presses her lips together. "Just give it a few days," she advises. "Let both of you cool down. There has to be a reason that he's so resistant. When we're all thinking more clearly, we can talk to him again."
It sounds so fucking reasonable that the feral monster in Jade's chest wants to scream. "Fine," he forces through clenched teeth, sweeping his disordered hair back. "Look into him. Try to find out what his problem is."
"Alright. And you try to keep it together."
Jade lets out a mocking laugh.
----------
The last thing Jade wants to do after the debacle in Juliet's lab is work an on-duty shift. He could just skip, since it's not like they can do anything about it, but he's trying to play nice, and he doesn't want another earful from his uncle.
Having an S-class on duty is mostly just performative anyway. Most of the shit Halo sends its espers out for isn't even worth as much as a C-class, but the agency likes to flex its ranks, so Jade inevitably finds himself in the upper class on-duty lounge, surrounded by his chattering coworkers.
It's not that Jade doesn't get along with the other espers, it's just that he really doesn't try to. Some of them don't care, while others take it personally.
"How's it going, Ransom?"
Hazel Tierney is one of the ones who doesn't care. Jade glances over as she flops down onto the sofa he's taken by the window. "Same as usual," he mutters.
"That bad, huh?" Hazel crosses her legs, one hand playing with the end of her dark ponytail. "Any more word on that guide you were looking for?"
Jade grits his teeth. "No."
"Really? Nothing?"
"Weren't you supposed to be out today?" Jade asks. "Security detail or something?"
She shrugs. "They decided they didn't need an A-class, or decided it was too expensive. Whatever, not like I care. I hate those jobs."
Jade rarely gets assigned private security jobs, but it has happened, and he shares the sentiment. By and large, the people willing to shell out for an entire team of esper bodyguards are just rich, vain posers trying to flaunt their wealth. Jobs that actually warrant that level of security are almost always passed onto Halo through the government, so private requests are usually nothing but posturing.
"Today's been quiet," Hazel remarks, scanning the nearly full lounge. "Not much going on."
Part of Jade almost wishes a Fray would open up somewhere, give him something to vent his frustration on. Or even better, some unaffiliated esper would start causing trouble in public. Then he'd get to punch something made of flesh and blood instead of the unsettling plasma of the malforms. But no luck. Any disturbances must be minor enough for the lower classes to handle because only a few higher classes have been dispatched so far.
"Really is a shame about your guide," Hazel continues, despite Jade's obvious attempt to change the subject. "We all really want you to find someone, you know?"
Jade snorts inelegantly. "Right."
"I'm serious!"
"I know you're serious," Jade says truthfully.
"Finding a guide you sync well with is—" Hazel turns her head to face the unofficial guide side of the room, "—it's just…it changes things."
Hazel's dedicated guide, a young woman with blonde hair whose name Jade doesn't remember, waves, and Hazel waves back, smiling.
Jade rolls his eyes. "Thanks, I had no idea."
The lounge door swings open and Hazel perks up. "Oh, Micah's back."
Several people call out greetings as Micah Caradine walks in, brushing dirt off of his Halo uniform jacket. A young man from the clump of guides practically runs over and Micah grins, catching him in his arms.
Hazel hums. "Harley always worries too much."
Indeed, the guide looks very concerned, checking Micah over for injuries until Micah laughs and scoops him up. Harley offers some token protests but doesn't struggle as Micah carries him over to the hall leading to the on-duty guidance rooms.
Something pinches low in Jade's stomach. He slouches down farther on the couch, glaring out the window.
Hazel's phone rings and she digs it out of her pocket. "My boyfriend's calling. I'll talk to you later, Ransom."
"You don't have to."
She chuckles and stands up, pacing away with her phone pressed to her ear. Jade sighs, glad to be alone again.
"Shit, could Caradine and Merritt be any more obnoxious?"
Scowling, Jade spares a look at the guy now leaning over the back of the sofa, leering in the direction of the guidance rooms. "I don't remember asking for your opinion, Larkin," he says curtly.
Travis Larkin just quirks an eyebrow, as though they're sharing a secret joke. He's one of the most blandly handsome people Jade has ever seen: brown hair, symmetrical, uninteresting facial features, like he just walked out of a print ad for shaving cream, and yet he has a distinctly weaselly air to him that always rubbed Jade the wrong way.
"Everyone's saying they'll be bonded soon," Larkin goes on, ignoring Jade's clear dismissal. "But no way Caradine is gonna chain himself to one hole so early."
"Maybe it's a really good hole," Jade suggests tonelessly.
"Doesn't matter how good it is. Caradine is young, he's A-class—he'd have to be stupid not to take advantage of all the other guides gagging to suck his dick."
"Jealous, Larkin?"
Larkin sneers. "Even a B-class like me has guides lining up. Better a B than a C, or god forbid a flunkie. It's in their genes, you know?"
"No."
"Don't be stupid. You see the way they drool after you. You think that's just for your face?"
"No. It's also for my washboard abs and sculpted arms."
Larkin doesn't look like he appreciates Jade's honesty.
"What do you want, Larkin?" Jade asks, patience running out. "To gossip about where Caradine is sticking his dick?"
Scoffing, Larkin sweeps a look back over at the guides across the room. "You taking any of them tonight?"
"No."
"Not even Quinn?"
"She's not even on-duty."
"Yeah, but if you call, you know she'll come running."
Jade curls his upper lip. He's never cared much about minding his manners, and he's fooled around with at least a third of the guides currently in the room with them, but even he thinks Larkin is an asshole. Unfortunately, he's not the only one among Halo's espers to hold such belittling opinions. "Either say something intelligent or leave me alone, Larkin," Jade says, waving a hand as though swatting away a fly and turning his attention back to the skyline.
"C'mon, man, don't be a prick," Larkin protests. "Just because you can't find you special little cocksleeve, that doesn't mean—"
"If you finish that sentence," Jade interrupts calmly, not even turning away from the window, "I'll put you through this glass."
Larkin clicks his tongue. "Jeez, someone's pissy today." But he straightens up and wanders off, finally leaving Jade alone.
Exhaling some of the irritation poking at his spine, Jade tips his head back and closes his eyes.
Two more hours.
----------
The information Juliet sends to his phone the next day doesn't do much to dispel Jade's mediocre impression of Noel Arden.
Graduated from East University nearly three years ago, currently lives alone in a tiny downtown apartment, blood type O negative, manifested at five years old, mother died not long after—nothing useful or interesting that might help them convince Noel to suck it up and be Jade's guide. His work performance is good but not outstanding, he doesn't go out much, doesn't hook up, doesn't have any consistent espers, and the only notable blip that Jade can see is that for both years he's been working at Halo, he requested to work the night of the Founding Day party. Normally, people are begging not to be scheduled for the skeleton crew left at the campus, but Noel Arden scheduled himself weeks in advance.
All Jade can conclude is that Noel is a socially awkward loner who's doing everything he can to stay under everyone's radar, including his own family. If he really is a D-class guide, then Jade guesses he would understand, given how grumpy Beckett gets at the mere mention of him, but since he's not D-class, Jade just can't see why Noel is so eager to disappear.
He can't help dwelling on this as he makes his way up to President Laine's office. The whole thing makes him uneasy, like he's still missing something, and the more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets, and the angrier he gets, the harder it is to control his powers. The last thing he wants right now is a meeting with Corinthia, but since he's "playing nice", he couldn't exactly turn down her summons.
She better make it quick, though.
The instant he walks into the huge, luxurious office and sees more than one person in it, he knows he should just turn around and leave.
"What is this?" he asks, words clipped. "An intervention?"
Corinthia smiles, unbothered by his attitude as always. "Jade," she says warmly, rising from her leather desk chair. "Come in."
Rolling his eyes, he sticks his hands in his pockets and approaches her enormous glass desk, not sparing a glance for the other three people despite their blatant staring. "Keep this short, Corinthia," he snipes. "I have better things to be doing."
"I'd hate to take up too much of your time." She rounds her desk and gestures to the sitting area, where Genevieve and Wesley are both already seated. Director Penn stands behind them, hands behind his back. "Please, sit."
"I'm good."
She doesn't push the issue, leaning back against the edge of her desk and crossing her ankles. She's wearing a hunter green pantsuit today, her steel gray hair pulled into a sleek, high ponytail to fully expose her sharp features. "I feel like I haven't seen you recently," she says, looking Jade up and down. "You look well, all things considered."
Jade waits.
"How has it been, searching for the guide you met at the Fray site? Any leads?"
Though Jade didn't tell her or any of the executives directly, there was no way to completely hide what happened when he was going around asking about guides, and he foolishly admitted to almost melting down while still disoriented after the fight. Scowling, he flicks a look over at the others. "No," he lies.
She clicks her tongue. "That's a shame. I'd love for you to be able to find a guide you connect well with, Jade, you know I would."
Yeah, so I can keep making you money.
"But," she continues pointedly, eyebrows raised. "You haven't received any guiding since. And I've heard that your levels are getting dangerous again."
Jade grits his teeth. "So that's what this is about? Trying to force a guide on me?"
"Not force, Jade," she contends mildly. "We're all simply worried about you."
"Since you can't find this miracle guide," Director Penn's deep voice cuts in, "you will have to accept guidance from someone else sooner or later. It's best to get this out of the way before it becomes a crisis."
Rage boils in the pit of Jade's stomach, leaching into his bloodstream. His core pulses and it takes conscious effort to keep his energy from lashing out. "No thanks," he says through his teeth.
"Jade—"
"Jade, come on!" Genevieve jumps to her feet, auburn curls bouncing, cutting off Director Penn. "Don't be stubborn! You know how this argument always turns out!"
"Genevieve," Wesley protests, casting a nervous look between her and Jade. "Don't—if he says no, we can't force him." Wesley is another A-class guide, one of the small pool of guides Jade can tolerate, though their sync rate is only 25%. Even though Genevieve is technically a better match, Jade occasionally found himself seeking out Wesley instead when he just couldn't stand her entitled behavior. Wesley at least never tried to pressure him into anything. He's also one of the only guides at Halo that Jade has properly fucked.
"He always says no!" Genevieve points out heatedly. "He's just being stubborn for the sake of it." She sticks her hands on her hips, leveling Jade with an impatient look. "Why don't we just skip it this time?"
Shrugging, Jade crosses his arms, not missing the way Genevieve's eyes drop to his biceps. "Where's the fun in that, though?"
"Don't be flippant, Ransom," Director Penn scolds, thick, dark brows knit together. "This concerns your health."
"Right, so you decided to corner me like this." Jade's mind flashes to the request he sent to lure Noel into a private meeting and he almost feels bad for a second. This sucks. "Even if I was considering a guidance session, I'm definitely not anymore. Good job."
"Jade!" Genevieve shouts.
"Guide Quinn," Corinthia soothes. "Please, sit back down."
Stamping her foot like a child, Genevieve falls back into her chair and glares up at Jade.
"Jade," the president says, turning her calm attention on Jade. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist."
"Insist?" Jade echoes. "You have to insist? What do you think gives you the authority to insist?"
"Ransom," Penn warns.
"If I don't want to, I don't have to," Jade reminds them. "And if you try to make me, I'll bring the building down with everyone inside it."
"Why are you so belligerent today?" Corinthia asks, not looking overly concerned by the threat even as Genevieve and Wesley shift uncomfortably. "You're usually more reasonable."
"You know what they say about cornered animals." Jade flashes her a humorless smile, showing his teeth. "I'm only a beast, after all."
Her mouth twitches with disapproval. "I'm very disappointed, Jade."
"So, what? Are you gonna hit me with the suppressants and throw me to your little whores again?"
That finally breaks through Cornithia's affected cool and she straightens up. "That was an emergency situation—"
"Because I'm telling you," Jade continues sharply, holding her gaze without mercy, "if you try to pull that shit again, I won't stop at just one guide. I'll kill everyone who lays a hand on me."
Vaguely, he hears one of the others gasp, probably Wesley, who doesn't know about the incident last year, but he ignores them, regarding Corinthia expectantly.
After a moment, she takes a deep breath. "Jade," she says, her tone measured, "what happened at that time was a…terrible accident, and a grave error of judgement on our part. I assure you, we would not ever attempt to do that again."
"Only because it didn't work," Jade presses. "If it had, I'd already be on the floor with someone's tongue in my mouth."
"Of course not," she refutes, but it's just token resistance. They both know the truth, that Halo would do anything for a surefire way to control their ticking time bomb. "Jade, you may not believe this, but we really are primarily concerned with your wellbeing. It's unfortunate that guiding is such an unpleasant process for you, but you've always been willing to endure it before. What has gotten into you this time?"
"Maybe I'm just tired of being a problem to solve."
"No one thinks that—"
"Wes," Jade snaps, and Wesley jolts in his seat. "Come here."
Despite his clear hesitation, he doesn't dare disobey, and he makes his way around the sofa to stand before Jade. He's pretty, if you're into redheads, with messy copper waves and freckles splattered across his face and down his neck—and lower, Jade remembers. He looks up at Jade with bright green eyes, and Jade spares a thought as to how much more objectively attractive he is than Noel Arden. But Jade's never cared too much for appearances anyway. It's all the same to him.
"Give it a shot," he tells Wesley before snagging the front of his shirt and dragging him into a hard kiss.
Jade rarely does simple contact guiding. It's just not worth the effort. If he doesn't fuck his guide, then he at least makes out with them, so Wesley is prepared, after a moment of surprise, and responds quickly, wrapping his arms around Jade's neck.
Jade can practically feel the gazes of the other three people in the room, watching the display like hawks, so he decides to give them a really good show. Grabbing Wesley's waist, he licks aggressively into Wesley's mouth, bending the shorter man backward from the force of his kiss. Wesley moans, too overwhelmed by the onslaught to respond.
Then Wesley activates his energy and Jade's core recoils violently. Guiding is usually unpleasant; the touch of a discordant wavelength makes his skin crawl and the whole process feels like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a space it wasn't meant to go. And the puzzle piece is made of razor blades. But it's usually bearable, at least for a little while. Jade has certainly endured worse pain.
This time, however, it's like trying to touch the wrong end of a magnet. Wesley tries to hold on for a moment; Jade can feel his core attempting to connect, to drag Jade's energy into circulation like usual, but then something inside of Jade snaps and Wesley's energy rebounds with a crack of electricity.
Gasping, Wesley jerks away, grabbing the back of the sofa just to stay upright as he pants for breath. "It's—it's—" he shakes his head, slowly sinking to the floor. "Not gonna—not syncing—"
Jade's pulse pounds in his ears as his energy thrashes and roils. Every cell in his body is on fire, shivering in revulsion, and he inhales deeply, trying to settle his core. "There you go," he says hoarsely, turning his gaze on the others. "Wanna try again?"
They just watch him, their faces stricken. Genevieve is white-knuckling the arms of her chair, and Corinthia's eyes are wider than Jade has ever seen them.
"Sorry about that, Wes," Jade tosses out.
Wesley shoots him a thumbs up, still doubled over wheezing.
"We done here?"
When no one answers or moves to stop him, Jade turns and stalks out of the office. The instant the sleek frosted glass door closes behind him, he hears Genevieve start yelling, but he doesn't hang around to find out why.
----------
"That sucks, man," Beckett says before slamming another shot.
Jade wishes more than anything that he could do the same, but he can't risk anything compromising his control right now, not when he's already so close to the edge. "I didn't know the repulsion was gonna be that bad," he mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I was gonna push him out anyway, but Wes couldn't even get in."
"Well, you said you couldn't go back to regular guiding anymore," Beckett points out.
"I didn't think I meant literally."
"That guide really fucked you up."
"Yeah." Jade glares at the bartop. "They really did." Anger surges again in Jade's gut and he clenches his hand on his thigh. How dare Noel Arden dangle the only thing he's ever wanted right in front of him and then just rip it away? "Selfish asshole," Jade mumbles.
"Still no leads?"
Actually, it's your brother. Do something about him. Jade bites his tongue. It would be so easy to fuck up Noel's life, to get some petty revenge and strike back at Noel for jerking him around. But Juliet was right. Doing that would probably cut off any possibility of Noel cooperating with them. Having seen Noel's fuse blow, he's pretty confident that Noel would never forgive him for something like that.
"No," he grumbles.
"Maybe you should check one of the other agencies again," Beckett suggests, waving at the bartender to bring him another drink. "Someone might have remembered something new. Or maybe they were holding out to fuck with you."
"And why would they do that? If they have a guide who can sync with me, I'd quit Halo and move to any agency in the region. In the country, probably. They gotta know that."
"Can't help you, man." Beckett's mouth twists and the gleam in his eyes is genuinely apologetic. "This whole thing sucks."
His relationship with Beckett is odd. Jade considers him a friend, more so than anyone else at Halo, and they look out for each other. They get along and even hang out outside of work on occasion, though they've never been to each others' places, but there's an undeniable tension underlying their relationship. It's not aggression, or even anything particularly negative. It's more like an awareness. They both understand that it doesn't matter how they feel about each other personally, they are the only ones who can understand each other in the entire agency. In the entire city. They're more similar to each other than they are to anyone else. Jade's only met a few other S-class espers but he felt a similar connection then as well.
The gap between other S-classes will always be less than the gap between an S-class and anyone else, and everyone below them thinks the exact same way. S-class espers may as well be a different species altogether. So if they want any true connection or solidarity, they better get along.
As much as Jade actually likes Beckett, that reality is so goddamn lonely sometimes.
And having a guide probably wouldn't fix that, but it would go a long way toward making Jade feel even the tiniest bit like a normal esper.
"Whatever," he dismisses. "I'm tired of talking about it. How did things go with Sarah yesterday?"
Beckett rolls his eyes and starts recounting his session with the A-class guide he's been using lately. As an S-class, there aren't any guides at Halo that can perfectly match him, but his sync rates are leagues higher than Jade's so he gets along much better.
As Jade sits and listens to him talk, it's hard not to feel jealous.
----------
Corruption overload is red.
It's pretty fitting, actually, given the danger of the situation. Red is an appropriate color, warning everyone that the end is nigh.
Despite the overwhelming crush of pain and energy, there's still some small, detached part of Jade's mind watching the red light flicker off the tile walls and thinking yeah, that seems about right.
Corruption always tastes like ash; when it gets this bad every breath brings soot and destruction into his lungs as the rot tries to bubble out of him. And beneath it all, in the deepest, darkest depths of him, a deathly chill waits, biding its time for Jade to slip up, to let the cracks widen, so that it can surge forward and consume him. It takes all of his focus to hold it all at bay, nothing left to contain the lightning arcing off of him, and his muscles tremble with the effort not to rip through the metal restraints like paper.
If he can just stay here, in this fortified room, and focus long enough, maybe he'll self-destruct instead of bringing down the whole city.
His awareness blinks in and out, rising and falling on a tide of agony. One moment he's alone and the next there are hands on his face and a familiar voice seeping into his ears, familiar words oozing through his head:
"I'm going to help."
Then something reaches inside him, through the thrashing and wailing, right into his infected core, into that cold, and relief pulses through him, stronger than he's ever felt before.
This is it, he thinks wildly, grabbing for that invading warmth. This is how it felt.
The restraints vanish and then he's on the floor, trying to press as much of himself as possible into this guide, his guide. Their cores sing in harmony, a single sustained note resonating through both of them, and Jade is shuddering apart, dissolving into heat and light as the darkness inside of him melts away.
He could stay here forever, suspended in this mindless bliss.
But suddenly there's iron on his tongue, the tang of blood unmistakable, and it wrenches his awareness back to the front. He floods back into his own body and instantly lifts his head, breaking the kiss he doesn't remember starting. Their connection snaps with a visceral jolt, leaving Jade blinking stars out of his eyes as he stares down at Noel Arden pinned beneath him.
Even with Jade's scattered focus, he can tell something isn't right. Noel is clearly unconscious, completely unresponsive as Jade pulls back, and there's blood streaming from his nose, running down his cheeks and smeared over his mouth and chin. The crimson contrasts sharply with his ghostly pale complexion, and for a moment, Jade can't breathe.
Not again, he pleads to no one, reaching up to cup Noel's face, his heart throbbing in his throat. Please, not again.
Then Noel's eyelids flicker. Despite his pallor, his skin is burning, and Jade's heart dislodges, allowing air into his lungs. "Noel," he tries, giving Noel's head a gentle shake, smearing even more blood on his white skin. "Noel!"
The door clunks open behind him. "Oh god, is he okay?" Juliet's voice pierces the lingering rush in his ears.
"I don't know," Jade rasps, shifting his weight off of Noel. The lights are still blinking on and off, fried from the electrical discharge, making it hard to get a good look. "His nose is bleeding and he won't wake up—"
"Ah, fuck—" Juliet swears. "Can you pick him up? We've gotta go!"
An unfamiliar feeling tightens in Jade's gut as he gathers Noel's lax frame into his arms, a cold knot bleeding ice into his veins, and he realizes with a start that it's concern. When was the last time he actually felt concerned for someone? He feels a general desire to not blow up the city, but that's not out of worry for anyone specific. Beckett can take care of himself, Juliet can take care of herself, and Jade hasn't felt concerned for himself in over a decade, but Noel—
Shaking himself out of his head, Jade hurries after Juliet into the hallway, Noel limp and silent in his grasp.
"Did you get a look at my levels?"
----------
Noel Arden really just isn't that impressive.
With little to do besides wait for Noel to wake up, Jade finds himself returning to sit beside the bed, unable to focus on anything else. He can't even read, his eyes wandering back to Noel's sleeping figure without his permission, and he's struck again by how unimpressive this guide is.
Of course, he doesn't do himself any favors by letting his hair hang over his face and slouching about in oversized hoodies and sweatshirts. He comes off as meek, diffident, and nervous, which is indeed how Jade perceived him during their first meeting. Or second meeting.
But now, with nothing to do besides look at him, Jade is starting to wonder.
At first glance, Noel really isn't worth a second. Not tall or short, kind of scrawny, messy hair, dull eyes, skittish body language, putting Jade in mind of a prey animal. But the more he looks, the more he sees.
Despite being generally unkempt, Noel's hair is a rich mahogany color, lying in a pool of soft waves around his head and shot through with veins of copper that glimmer in the sunlight inching across the bed. His skin has recovered somewhat from its sickly pallor the day before and some color has returned to his face, pink dusted across his high cheekbones, and Jade takes a second to actually analyze Noel's features. He's not movie-star handsome like Beckett, or pretty and charming like Wesley, but he's not…bad. His nose is straight and narrow, slightly rounded at the tip, and the slope of his jawline is well-defined. Jade's eyes linger on Noel's mouth, tracing his prominent cupid's bow and full lower lip, before flicking up to Noel's thick eyelashes. The hands resting on top of the duvet are slender and fair, unmarred by scars or birthmarks, like the rest of Noel's visible skin, and his fingers are long.
Pianist's hands, Jade thinks idly. Probably would have an easier time hitting the right keys than I do.
Noel's eyes are closed right now, but Jade's seen enough to know that they're not just a flat slate color; he's seen them bleached white in the sun and flash silver with anger. If he casts his mind back, into the hazy depths of his near meltdowns, he can remember them gleaming through the chaos, growing closer, solid steel beneath a layer of fear.
They're a perfect allegory for the young man behind them: a bland, unassuming first impression, prisming into a dozen different shades.
When Jade realizes where his mind has wandered, he gives himself a mental shake, shifting in his seat. This whole thing has him so twisted up, he's even starting to find this mousy little guide attractive. No matter what his weird esper bonding hormones are telling him, Noel Arden just isn't anything special.
And yet Jade still can't look away.