Time seemed to stand still in that moment.
Everyone watched the Duke's pale face shift—
From white to red,
From red to black.
There was no time to react.
Dr. Kondraki suddenly flipped a table toward SCP-083, interrupting its ritual mid-cast.
Then, in a flash, he pulled out a pistol.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Gunfire exploded—seven shots in rapid succession.
Silver bullets ripped through the Duke's body almost instantly.
The room stood frozen in disbelief as Kondraki pulled a wooden stake from his lab coat.
As he approached the fallen Duke, he muttered,
"I've officially crossed this off my life's to-do list."
The video ended there.
Yet everyone could practically hear the desperate wails of security agents and Dr. Kondraki's triumphant laughter echoing from the screen.
And then—
Laughter erupted.
Inside the screen.
Outside the screen.
Everywhere.
The audience in the livestream chat went wild:
> "WTF?! Is Dr. Kondraki insane?"
> "Cat urine and garlic juice? What kind of maniac comes up with that?!"
> "Silver bullets, wooden stakes, garlic juice… Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he whipped out ten Bibles next!"
> "SCP-083 might be the most pitiful anomaly ever."
> "This is so absurd it's painful… and hilarious. My sides hurt!"
---
S.H.I.E.L.D.
Agents tried (and failed) to stifle their laughter.
Nick Fury rubbed his forehead, face dark with disbelief.
He could barely comprehend Dr. Kondraki's mental state.
And yet…
He couldn't help but wonder—
Did it actually work?
---
Back on screen.
Dr. Clef, seated just in front of Leon Lake, was doubled over in laughter.
He slapped his chair, tears streaming down his face.
> "This guy was born for this kind of chaos!"
---
A new scene appeared:
[Post-Incident Interview: DK-083]
This time, Dr. Kondraki sat across from a bald, stern-faced middle-aged man.
> "How did you come to the conclusion that SCP-083 would have traditional vampire weaknesses—without any supporting evidence?"
That was the question on everyone's minds.
Sure, the Duke was anomalous and resembled a vampire.
But treating him like a creature from a dime-store horror novel?
Dr. Kondraki shrugged.
> "I just guessed, honestly. Either it works and I go eat lunch… or I figure it out before he kills me."
> "So it was spontaneous?"
> "Yeah, it just hit me." Kondraki straightened up, clearly proud of his so-called "inspiration."
Pretending to be casual, he added,
> "I couldn't think straight. So I winged it."
The other doctor stared, stunned.
His brows furrowed in disbelief.
> "You're telling me you made zero preparations? Against an SCP this dangerous? That's a blatant breach of protocol!"
> "He's dead, isn't he?" Kondraki replied, coolly. "I did my job. I don't need to explain myself."
Silence.
After a long breath, the interviewer asked:
> "Alright… but one more question."
> "Go ahead."
> "Why cat urine?"
Kondraki grinned.
> "I figured, even if it didn't work, at least he'd be soaked in cat piss."
Then he added, shrugging:
> "Didn't expect him to get so upset."
---
The livestream chat exploded again.
The image of the once-fearsome Duke, now dripping in cat urine, was too much to bear.
But the first to crack wasn't the audience…
It was Dr. Bright, seated in front of Leon.
He hurled his popcorn to the ground, shouting in multiple languages—his face twisting with frustration.
Everyone heard his shout:
> "I BET HIM $5,000 HE WOULDN'T DO IT! And now he's still alive?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOST?! F**K!"
---
S.H.I.E.L.D.
Agents burst into uncontrollable laughter.
Nick Fury could only shake his head.
> "So this… is one of the Four Doctors of the Apocalypse?"
The tone, the chaos—nothing made sense anymore.
He looked back at the screen.
All he wanted now was to understand:
How the hell did Dr. Kondraki survive the Duke's rage?
As if hearing his thoughts,
The voice of the elderly narrator returned.
> "At this time, there is no definitive record of how Dr. Kondraki survived the failed execution. All surveillance equipment inside the chamber was destroyed."
As expected, the screen turned to static.
The voice continued:
> "External security cameras later captured both Dr. Kondraki and SCP-083 exiting the containment facility approximately 30 minutes later. Forensic teams began examining footage for signs of damage to either individual."
> "Regardless of the outcome, Command issued a Red Alert. Security forces, including Mobile Task Force P-2 'Heroes of Hawthorne,' were deployed to re-contain SCP-083 and ensure Dr. Kondraki's safety."
The voice paused, then added with a sigh:
> "In hindsight… it may have been more cost-effective to simply shoot Dr. Kondraki."
And just like that,
Another wave of laughter echoed across both worlds.
The Marvel Universe and the SCP Foundation had never felt more united—by pure, ridiculous chaos.
---
The next moment, Dr. Kondraki reappeared on screen.
His face twisted in panic, his white coat flapping as he bolted through a hallway.
---
To be continued...
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