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Chapter 4 - Cara

I shut my bedroom door gently, like if I made a sound, I'd break something between us.

My heart was still pounding.

He said, "Go back to bed, Cara."

Not mean. Not cold. Just... careful. Like he knew he was walking a line and couldn't afford to fall.

I stood there in the dark for a second, fingers on the door handle, forehead against the wood.

God, I was such a kid.

That's what he was probably thinking. That I didn't get it. That I didn't really understand what I was doing, standing barefoot in the kitchen in the middle of the night, trying to tell him I saw him when I barely even understood what it meant to be seen myself.

But I wasn't lying.

I did see him.

Not just the parts he tried to hide—like the way he winced when he sat down too fast or how he went quiet when someone raised their voice.

I saw the rest of him too.

The way he always made sure I had the remote, even when he and Kaden were arguing about what to watch. How he rinsed his plate without being asked. How he said my name like it mattered.

I crawled back into bed, pulled the blanket up over my head like that would block everything out.

But it didn't.

Because his voice was still echoing in my head.

You matter. I see you, Cara. Even if I shouldn't. Even if it scares me.

I knew he didn't say that lightly. He wasn't the type to say anything just to make someone feel better.

He meant it.

Which only made it worse.

Because I didn't want to be something scary to him.

I didn't want to be something he had to push away.

But I also didn't want to make things harder for him than they already were.

So I lay there, staring up at the ceiling in the dark, wishing I were older. Wishing the world were simpler. Wishing hedidn't have to hurt just to survive.

I didn't cry. Not really. Just lay still for a long time, letting the ache settle in my chest like something I'd have to carry quietly.

Because that's what you do with things you're not allowed to say out loud.

You feel them anyway.

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